Kareyquilts: Arms, Butt & Thighs, Oh My!

[renewedhope 4]

You are definately not alone. While I love my new body, I still manage to find and pic out all of the imperfections, and there are still plenty. Just last night I was telling DH that as the swelling goes down I can tell that I still have a little fat on my back. He said "that is very relative". I am very glad I had the Tummy Tuck, but it seems that the old insecurities rear their ugly heads even more since the surgery. I want to be happy and satisfied in this skin. I don't want to spend the rest of my life wishing that this or that were different. Maybe I can Lipo a little here, etc. I didn't think about the hormone changes, but that makes sense. Maybe that's part of it.

Having said all of that, I am very glad I made this choice and I am very pleased with my results. I jsut want to learn to appreciate my accomplishments and beauty without always looking to improve on what's here.

What an amazing journey this truly is.

[oneflew 0]

Karey,

You've really been through a lot and I think it's normal to feel that way. I'm pre-ps, but after losing 100 lbs I look wayyyy better. I'm fairly attractive, but I'm still kind of this shy, former fat, insecure person. I should be ecstatic and for the most part I am, but then I look at the belly and arms, (my legs always looked fine) and I'm depressed. But even after I change that, I'll still have to deal with the other issues. My situation is different in a way as I'm single and have issues of should I put myself out there? or just be content with how things are now, but basically I think we all have those moments when we start over-analyzing our lives and nit-picking at those minute flaws. Nobody is perfect and whether we're fat or thin or flat or flabby we're still the same inside. I guess that's the person I need to love more. ok, ok, probably too chatty, but that's were I'm at. Hang in there, girl. You look great and are healing well. You probably just have a lot of time to think! Have a good weekend!

Sam

[Shalee04 7]

Karey, Nope not alone at all. I have been having major issues with my feelings lately. I love the new me, But I hate that I am having these problems, and then I think. and I have LOTS of time to think as I am still confined to bed/recliner, so isolation gets the better of me and I think, "WOW Kelly is all this really worth it" We are out alot of money and what do I have to show for it, a flat tummy with issues and a few holes at the moment, Is this going to heal, how long till I heal, how long do I have to stay in bed, I am so frustrated. On one hand I am happy with the flat tummy, I actually look like a normal lady. Then on the other hand when the bandages are off I look deformed becasue of the seperatiopns and hole that has formed. very painful. Oh yeah And I paid for this.... Then I cry and get all moody, which in turn makes my poor hubby upset becasue he's doing everything he can to make me happy and comfortable, But I can't get comfy and he tried to understand but can't.

OK well I have vented for today. Karey stay strong and I will keep you in my thoughts. Back to bed for me, my 15 minutes of computer time is up. I feel like a dang prisoner.

[kareyquilts 1]

Love everyone's thoughts! It really helps! Renewed and Shalee, hang in there! It will get better. Shalee, my doc said that after 3 weeks in bed, it wasn't going to matter anymore because I wouldn't be able to pull anything more apart. How long is your doc going to make you rest? I'm hoping to be able to start exercising again in 2 weeks (at the 6 week mark). My ps said absolutely not to do anything but walk until he sees me again. Hopefully, I'll get the okay. I know from the last time, that it's really hard to get back to your past level, but it doesn't take as long as you think it will, when you first start back. I bet within 3 weeks of exercising again, you'll be getting close to your former glory! Here's to better days!

[Shalee04 7]

I go back Monday to see him again, We are trying to keep the middle insision from opeing up, right now its just a couple small openings , but it looks like it wants to open up into a big area. The other wound/hole I have is about the size of a 50cent piece. Hubby saus its looking much better and healing, to me it's scary looking. I dont see how it's going to fill in, but Dr assures me it will heal from the bottom up. I still shake my head in think No Way.

I made hubby take me out to lunch today I had to get out of this darn house for even a little bit. it ws nice to get a change of scenery.

[kareyquilts 1]

Shalee: Glad you got to get a way, even for a short time. Good luck with the doc on Monday.

I had a fill under fluroscopy yesterday. I haven't had any fill for 4 months. I have gained 3 pounds since my surgery and was feeling a little out of control, appetite-wise. The lapband doc thought my band did not look right, and that I might have another slip (had to have band replaced in July). He said that since I wasn't having any symptoms that it might be normal for someone who has had to have revisional surgery. He went ahead and gave me a big fill (5 ml). I was too tight and had to go back in today. He took out .5 ml. I'm still burping and feeling that heavy feeling in my chest after eating a small amount. Sometime, I think, I just can't get a break. When I talked with him today, he told me to think positively and we will take it one step at a time. Not to worry about my band, that I'm just too tight. I just remember how I felt for weeks before my band slipped and it's very similar. I would like to think that I have learned enough and changed enough to maintain my weight without my band, but it's a very scary thought. I don't want to go backwards. I like where I'm at. Has anyone else thought what they would do without their band? Sometime, I think I need counseling for all of this!

[Donna113 2]

Sometimes when I think about the band, I resent it. Is this thing going to have to be in me for the rest of my life? Why can't I control myself after I reach goal? I've been told by my doc and from reading the posts here that once unfilled or unbanded, people tend to start spiraling out of control again with their eating. When the band plays such a small part in the weight loss, why does it play such a BIG part in maintaining it?!?

[kareyquilts 1]

Donna: It isn't fair, is it?!

[Shalee04 7]

Karey, keeping you in my thoughts that your band is A-Ok!! with no problems. I too wonder why I can't catch a break either. I ws very scared of my port being moved and I even told PS that I was, and that I can't afford to have anything happen to my band, so if he was in the least bit worried about it to not even move it, But he said he had to move it with the MR he was doing. He also said that one corner of my port was no longer stitched down when he went to move it.

I know that right now I can't even feel my port, PS moved it and showed me where its at but damned if I can feel it. And I can eat any and everything I want right now. I thought I must have gained 10 lbs laying in bed for a month eating like I have, But I havent gained anything thak god. I am on a rezlly high Protein diet for healing purposes so I guess that's good. But I know that when I am finally healed I will need a fill and have to be careful with my eating as I know that I don't chew slow and I have been drinking while eating, eating slider foods too. I am going to have to learn to be a good eating bandster all over again when healed. But I too want to take what I have learned and do it myself,,,, hopefully I can.

Anyways Karey I think you and Fragni are super women, real insperation to us on the boards. Me I can tell you I wont be having anymore plastic surgery except revisional to fix this issue I am having now if needed, after that, Never, this has done me in.

Keeping you in my thoughts!!!

[kareyquilts 1]

Shalee: Plastic surgery is not for wussies! Nina, a gal on another thread, said her French plastic surgeon told her that, plastic surgery takes 3 things: courage, time and money! I couldn't agree more. Even though my doc wants to do my inner thighs, I'm simply out of courage and I don't want to take anymore time out of my life. I bet you're going to look awesome after you're all recovered and you won't need anymore surgery! At some point, you've got to accept yourself, be thankful for all the good ways you look great and love the other parts even if they're not perfect. That's what I'm going to do from here on out. On the fill thing, it kind of is the pits to have to start eating like a bandster again. I was like you, no restriction. I had a hamburger the other day and pizza last week. Today, I could only eat 2 bits of my Kashi Cereal, it just didn't feel good going down. It's back to the basics for me. Chewing slowly and eating smaller amounts. In the long run, I know it's for the best and faced with the possiblity of not having a lapband, I'm thankful that for now, I do. I know it's helped me to get to this point and that it will help me maintain. I will keep telling myself this, until I really do feel greatful again! LOL!

[cori in wa 0]

Hi karey

I've been thinking about you and hoping that things are improving.... God is really tossing challenges your way throughout this, isn't He? I'll continue prating that your spirits lift and you heal quickly and appropriately. I agree completely, enough with the plastic surgery. You look incredible and it's about darn time you feel incredible too.

Hugs to you my dear and a very Happy Thanks giving to you.

PS. I hope you can eat :wub:

[kareyquilts 1]

Cori: Thanks for the well wishes! I hope you have a great Thanksgiving as well! My band seems to have settled down a bit, so I think I'll be able to eat some good ole turkey!

Went back to my doc yesterday for my 6 week check up. Did that go fast or what! I'm doing well. I still have a few issues on my back side that he said will take another 2-3 months to completely resolve. Have some weeping back there, but I guess its fine. He wants me to keep wearing my compression sleeves and keep compression on my upper stomach. Bother! Tired of it all. He also told me not to gain any weight, that I'm the poster child for body contoring and that everyone in the office looks up to me. I guess that was a compliment?! Trying not to gain weight, but it's not always so easy, is it? Especially with the holidays upon us. Also told me no weight lifting and to take it very easy with the exercise. Grrr! Don't exercise much and don't gain any weight. Okay, I can do it! I'll just think myself thin!

Edited November 27, 2008 by kareyquilts
left out a word

[loridee11 510]

Hey Karey,

Happy Thanksgiving! I just caught up on your thread and wanted to with you the best with your band. I go in Monday for my first fill since January (I had a slight unfill in May) and am hoping my band is sitting right. I can eat pretty much anything since surgery so I'm hoping to avoid what you've already been through.

Anyway, I just wanted to say hi and I'm glad things seem to be going better!

~Lori

[deepinfl 0]

Congratulations! You are an inspiration to us all! D.

[lipstix64 1]

WE will never be cured of this food addiction. Its something we have to fight every day. I too get angry with myself and wonder why I cant eat like a "normal" person and just go about my business not thinking about food and what I'm gonna eat next. But we are food addicts, just like there are drug addicts, and alcoholics. I see a therapist to help me understand why I have this addcition and to help me be aware of when and why I want to eat. For me, I am an emotional eater. I eat when I'm bored, sad, angry. We just need to stop for a second, figure out why we're getting up to go into the kitchen and look for something to eat. I tend to eat when I'm thinking about my mother, whom I miss.

It really is an unconcious thing antil I stop and realize that I'm looking for comfort from the food. It helps at the moment, then I am disgusted with myself. I know its hard and I do slip at times, but it is what it is. We have to try harder than other people, but it will be worth it. Good luck to us all.