ok so she was one of my friends i kinda hinted to about the band...and then just told her i was thinking about it, and i was going to try one last diet.

well now she and her sister are interested in the band, and are asking me for resources...ugh!! i don't want to give them this website! i think this website has been the MOST helpful, and i truly feel that if your getting a band you need to come here...well find a good surgeon, read up on it, and come here..., but i still want my secret!!!

i feel bad, cause i've been lying to her, but if you knew this girl, you'd be appalled that i even called her friend...she is the friend that if some one said hey you look great (to me) she'd say "well thats only cause she had surgery"

no i'm not thinking worse case scenario, i've been there with her, i got into a professional school program in another city, someone asked me why i didn't just go to the school in my hometown, she jumps in and said, "cause she's not smart enough to get into school here" um yeah, when i'm done with school people will call me doctor, doesn't matter to me that i had to drive 300 miles north, but she's got the need to never let me be in the spotlight, and doesn't want anyone to be happy for me.

so thats to give you some background on why i hid the surgery from her

ok so um yeah, i'm thinking MAYBE i can tell her about my surgery, if she actually goes thru with it, but um i think i'm going to give her the website...ugh, its the right thing to do...but i'm soooooooooooo disappearing off this thread, lol i'm changing my name, erasing my photo, and hopefully by the time she logs on for the first time, all the threads started by me will be so far at the end of the forum she'll never find them...i think whether i tell her or not, a random internet search on lapband will lead you to this forum.

ok maybe this rant should have been a blog and not a post...but thanks for listening!

You can hide your identity here. Put up a picture of a flower or something for your avatar. Look over your old posts and if they give away who you are, edit them or delete them.

You can also send her to other web sites. If she is serious about it, she'll probably end up here, but if she's serious about it, then it will probably be okay if she knows your secret.

thank you...i'm going to get on that ASAP

i feel bad, cause i've been lying to her, but if you knew this girl, you'd be appalled that i even called her friend...she is the friend that if some one said hey you look great (to me) she'd say "well thats only cause she had surgery"

Yup, I'm appalled that you're calling her a friend. She's holding you back, and from what you describe, not adding one positive thing to your life.

My advice would be to lose her. People put you down because of insecurities in themselves. As you described, when you do something positive she undercuts it. She has a problem with her self-esteem and you shouldn't waste any of your time and energy on her dysfucntions.

Get the band, lose the weight, don't give a damn about whether she finds out or not. Get your degree, get a job and leave the negative people in the dust. Too many good things ahead of you to waste a moment of time on somebody that wants to screw up your life.

Get the band, lose the weight, don't give a damn about whether she finds out or not. Get your degree, get a job and leave the negative people in the dust. Too many good things ahead of you to waste a moment of time on somebody that wants to screw up your life.

Excellent advise! Life is WAY too short to waste it with 'friends' like this.