I just typed a super long post and lost connection. Super. :confused_smile: Anyway, I just told dh about wanting the band last night. We had a great long talk about everything and long story short...ended up crying feeling like a "diet failure". When I think of everything and put aside the money factor and Mexico surgery plan, I'm struggling (and I think dh is to) with the "why can't I do it with weight watchers"

I'm 5'8, 240 pounds, 36 with 3 small kids. I have lost weight before with ww. (about 25 pounds) I didn't have a weight problem until I had my 2 and 3rd kids.

Dh supports me no matter what I decide and doesn't want to hurt my feelings, but I can *feel* the "why can't you just go on a diet" Why??? I have...like 30 times in the last 3 times. For WHATEVER reason, I keep failing. I have no problem admitting that I think weight watchers is a great program that would work, if I would just do it. But I don't. I fall off the wagon again and again. DH wonders how the band will work if I don't change in my mind what makes me eat in the first place. The way I see it, the band will force me to look at what I'm doing bite by little bite. DH talked about finding ways to get around the restriction...and failure rates, etc... wondering if I can't control myself now, how will I do it with the band?

I ended up crying and feeling like a failure...it's hard to face the fact you are fat and want help....I just am really struggling with my choice now. I believe I've firmly decided I want to do this, yet I wonder why I can't lose weight w/o medical help.

:drool: Shannon

Good morning, I am 50 now and I have had a weight problem since I had my 2nd and third child also . I just got banded on May 14th. As we get involved with our families we have way less time to spend taking care of ourselves. I litterally let myself go down the tubes. I am also 5' 8" and started this process at 241.pounds. It much harder to have the time and energy to make the special food for any type of diet program. Do not feel like a failure , I took many months to make my decision and I have not told but a few people that I had it done. I have lost 19lbs so far and I am content with that. The extra weight right now is probally more of a appearance and lack of maybe a little energy but as we get older the body starts to rebel. Last year my thyroid died and I developed type II diabeties, and a host of other issues so thats what made me make the real decision. If there is any way you can turn yourself around now while you are still younger and with out the health issues it's got to be easier down the road. Good luck, check out a seminar near you and fine our the ins anad outs. The only good thing about waiting for problems to develop is that with 2 comorbidities my insurance did after an appeal pay for the surgery.

Susie

Asking an obese person to diet successfully is like asking an alcoholic to avoid drinking when life is a constant cocktail party. Especially when you are a mom, there is food everywhere, and everyone is always eating. We are bombarded by ads on TV, drive down the street with restaurants and grocery stores all around us, and then as moms have to prepare food for the other family members that we aren't supposed to eat ourselves?? It just doesn't work. I have "successfully" dieted three or four times, losing over 50 lb each time, but ALWAYS gained it back. Sometimes I could keep it off for several years, but nevertheless is always cam back.

When you are denying yourself food, it isn't once a day, it isn't twice a day, or even three times a day you are saying no to what you want. It is every minute. We are programmed to take advantage of food availability by genetics and physiology, and it is horribly difficult to overcome.

I have been banded 8 months, and have really changed my attitude toward eating. A lot is due to my band conditioning my body and mind that eating is no longer a great pleasure; it is for the first three bites, but after that it is a chore and a duty to provide myself nutrition. Sure, I am occasionally tempted by ice cream and milkshakes, but the temptation is satisfied if I have a small dish of ice cream. My husband commented last night that now with his band, a container of yogurt with a little whipped cream on top satisfies him just as much as a big sundae used to. Eating wisely just isn't the same with a band. You still have to consciously make the choices to eat well and not constantly snack, but the band is a tool that enables you to make that decision correctly.

First things first, don't feel like a failure. Crying is okay too. Working through the emotions of this takes time and you'll likely cry again. :drool:

Go to a seminar, talk to people similar to you. The band, in my opinion, is a great tool. There are ways around it, just as you described, but for me, it is forced portion control. I have completely changed how much I eat... but more importantly, I've changed what I eat. I haven't had a burger or soda in months! My life is so different. The motivation to lose is different having had surgery.

The biggest difference is you know its there always keeping you in check when you have an occsional fall off the wagon. It makes the fall not so hard and you just get going again. I think everyone practically still has their deeply ingrained habits haunting them daily THE DIFFERENCE is with proper restricion you cant over do it any where near what you used to take in. Once you see the scale CREEPING down youll LOVE your band even more.

Banded April 1 08

Surgery wt. 240

Current wt. 215

Goal wt. 140

I totally understand where your coming from. I am a mother of three children too and know about the extra weight that comes with having them. I have actually been overweight all my life, but because really overweight after having my last child. I did all the yo-yo diets through the years with temporary successes. Last year I had a problem with my right eye which turned out to be a tumor behind it. The doctors only way of keeping my eye open without me seeing doulbe was to give me 100mg of steroids. I reached a whopping 316lbs. and was really depressed and was tired of being looked at like I was from another planet while in public. I started the classes at Kaiser in June of last year just to see about the Gastric Bypass. I completed the classes and lost 26lbs. during that period. I battled with chosing the band or not myself. I did so much research online and weighed out the pros and cons of all the procedures that were offered. I was banded on January 24, 2008 and at that time weighed 292lbs. You need to really understand what causes you to eat in order to get the lapband. I know that stress and depression are the two things that cause me to eat, so I found other ways of coping when this comes over me. The lapband is not a easy fix, you still have to maintain your intake like your on a diet. Yeah if I wanted to enjoy chips, cake, Cookies during this time it could happen because those things go down very easy with the band. We don't do any dumping like the Gastri Bypass Patients do. I think ultimately the choice is yours and when you search deep down inside you will make the right choice for you!! Best of luck and if you ever need someone to talk I am here.

PO/ current/goal #1(reached)/goal #2

292/ 249 /250 /190

Thanks everyone. It really helps to talk this out.

I already have hypothyroidism and high cholesterol and my mom (who is in good health) is borderline type 2, so I'm positive that will be in my future. (bio dad is type 2 also) My insurance doesn't cover surgery no matter what the circumstance though.

I tried to make the analogy of smoking to dh. He has smoked since he was 14 and it's a habit a part of him as much as food is for me. I reminded him of the times he has tried to stop smoking...why after three weeks would you ever pick up another cig? Something triggers it...stress..happiness...drinking...whatever...but WHY do it? Hard for me to understand b/c that is not my vice, food is. So I told him when someone says, "just go on a diet, you aren't THAT fat". Well, I've tried that, and then something happens...stress...sadness...I'm an emotional eater. I'm a bored eater. I fall off the wagon even though I need to do this for my health and happiness and wellbeing. I still don't know if you can truly *get it* if you don't struggle with your weight. The more pounds I put on, the more it seems an impossiblity that I can do this alone. Telling a fat person to just put the fork down....like a previous poster...is like telling the drinker to hold back at a cocktail party.

I like the band b/c I can, if I want, to have potatoes w/ butter in a controlled manner...I really think it could train you to look at food a different way...you can't just eat three plates of food at Thanksgiving, but you can taste your favorites and move on. You can eat to live a healthy life, not live to eat all the time. It's a lifelong reminder of what you need to do. It's almost like I'm trying to convince myself.

Again, thanks so much, I've been reading day and night and I'm all consumed with learning everything I can. So much good information and informative people!

snowbird,

I just looked back at the posts again, and see you used Dr. Ortiz. He is the doctor I've been checking out in Mexico. I've already received emails from the coordinator and have been reading everything I can find about him.

My dh worries about my choice to go to Mexico...asking me about complications and death..although he admits that is dramatic, he still put it out there. Would you mind sharing any information you have found about him and your experience?

Shannon -- the band is a great tool and I think you'll find you are going to be very successful with it.

As for Mexico, literally hundreds of people have had great experiences there getting banded. BUT one thing you need to absolutely be sure you have lined up BEFORE going to Mexico is your aftercare here in the US. The band only works with the proper amount of fill in it. It's a process to get adjusted and you can expect to have several adjustments in the first year and then some after that too. Going back down to Mexico several times that first year is probably not in your plan, so who will be doing your fills here? It's rare to find a US surgeon willing to do aftercare for a Mexico patient.

Your best bet is if you have a Fill Center USA nearby. But definitely start asking around to see who does aftercare in your area for Mexico patients before deciding on going to Mexico.

One of the reasons we can't keep weight off is that morbidly obese peple have something like 10% the ghrelin (hunger hormone) that regular people do.

They've given this hormone to rats who had just eaten a big meal and they went NUTS eating. Now humans have a high enough IQ that we can control ourselves somewhat and aren't always at the mercy of our hormones. But it's still extremely difficult to not eat when your brain is receiving a signal 24/7 that you are STARVING and you need to eat or you will DIE ... because that's what having 10x the ghrelin you are supposed to does to people.

Midwestchickie,

I could have written most of your posts. I am 45 and have been heavy all of my life. Both of my parents are type 2 and a brother also. I had high blood pressure. I have been on so many "diets" and lost. Losing is not my problem, KEEPING IT OFF is my problem. I always gained it back plus more. I felt like such a failure.

When my father was diagnosed with the diabeties, it was a wake up call for me. I work in the Health care field and see the effects of diabeties every single day. I did not want that for myself. I was scared to death.

I had been researching the band, and finally confided in my boyfriend I was thinking about it. His response was... just diet... you can do it. Yep,, been there, done that... he just did not understand. He did tell me he would support me in what ever I decided to do. I went to my Seminar in June of 07 and my sweety went with me. As we were leaving, he turned to me and said. "Ok... I get it now. I understand where you are coming from"

I was self pay "$16,500" and had my surgery in Jan of 08. I can not tell you how good I feel, high blood pressure is gone. I would do again in a heart beat. I personally can not put a price tag on "not getting diabeties, lowering blood pressure, feeling better, breathing better"

Yes it was alot of money, but..... I will never have to "diet" EVER, EVER AGAIN.

I now eat very small amounts, no more three plate suppers for me. I generally can eat what ever I want. I CHOOSE to eat healthy. By choice, I dont eat bread and starchey foods. Yes, I have had a cookie or two. but you know what?? it was just bite of my boyfriends cookie. I dont want the whole bag anymore. That is success !!!!!!

Please, find a Dr that does a free seminar, take your husband with you. Let him hear the struggles from "other peoples mouths". Come up with questions together before you go. I guarentee they all will be answered during the seminar. If not.... ask away.

Good luck to you

Lois

IF it was so easy to diet then why are there so many obese people in the US??? It is not easy and its certainly NOT easy to keep it off. I think I have gained back that same 50 lbs many many times. :smile2:

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Lois,

Hey, I'm in KC too! How great. Thank you for the response. I recognize your doctors name from the commercials/ads. I'm glad to hear you are so happy with your choice! Great to hear from someone so close too!

Shannon