Hello, bandsters,

I am the very supportive (un-banded) partner of a person who is going to be banded on June 23rd. In the 20+ years we've been together, my partner has tried so hard to lose weight, and both of us think that the band is going to be the tool that will finally allow that to happen. I've been reading posts on Lapbandtalk several times and week, and it has been a wonderful learning experience.

I would like to know if there might be a forum created for family and friends who are supporting bandsters. How did they help your bandster pre-op and post-op? How do you know if something is wrong? I'll be with my partner the whole first week, and I want to make that period as comfortable as possible.

I do a good deal of the cooking as well, and I expect I'll be doing more than usual since my partner won't be up to much for a while. I'd really like some information about what to cook during the various phases. My cooking is very healthy, but I'm terrified that I'll accidentally make my partner have a PB and get sick.

I'd also find it helpful to speak with others about their experiences in supporting a person who is losing weight on the band. How can I support my partner's transformation emotionally as well as physically, since I know there's going to be a lot of flack from our friends that my partner has taken the "unnatural" step of having surgery. I imagine that family members, especially spouses, have gone through their own personal transformations as well as their bandster faced challenges and successes.

Would members here feel comfortable with such a forum? If not, is there a forum elsewhere that I can go to to learn from other family members and to support their experiences while we support their bandsters?

Thanks for listening. You are all tremendously courageous!

BadgerMom

My gosh, Strikeuptheband (love the name), I can't even imagine driving myself home from surgery, and for that length of time! I had foot surgery a little over a year ago, and I was a blithering idiot when I got out of recovery and all the way home. It's a good thing you arrived home safely. I guess I'm lucky. I've been there for my partner when she's had surgery, and she's been there for me. For the band surgery, we've arranged with friends to make sure the dog gets let out on the evening of surgery day so I can stay as late as possible and then come back the next morning (I'm still thinking I'd prefer to get a dog-friendly hotel room near the hospital). I don't care if she is going to sleep most of the day. She doesn't seem to think I need to be there, but I do.

I'm certainly no expert here, but I'm learning that this surgery (like all bariatric surgeries, I'll bet) really brings out the best and the worst in family members in a way that I haven't seen with other medical procedures. Maybe it's because the end result, weight loss, will change the status quo for everyone around the bandster in a way that, say, knee surgery won't.

Your SO might have dropped a few pounds by eating healthy and watching his portions, but can he keep it off? As I understand it, that's one of the primary criteria for getting the band in the first place - trying and failing other weight loss programs, like dieting - which you have obviously tried or you wouldn't have been approved to get the band.

I had an old friend once say to me, "Talk is cheap. Watch the feet." 'Nuff said.

BadgerMom

I think this is a fantastic idea...email alex about it :frown:

My gosh, Strikeuptheband (love the name), I can't even imagine driving myself home from surgery, and for that length of time! I had foot surgery a little over a year ago, and I was a blithering idiot when I got out of recovery and all the way home. It's a good thing you arrived home safely. I guess I'm lucky. I've been there for my partner when she's had surgery, and she's been there for me. For the band surgery, we've arranged with friends to make sure the dog gets let out on the evening of surgery day so I can stay as late as possible and then come back the next morning (I'm still thinking I'd prefer to get a dog-friendly hotel room near the hospital). I don't care if she is going to sleep most of the day. She doesn't seem to think I need to be there, but I do.

I'm certainly no expert here, but I'm learning that this surgery (like all bariatric surgeries, I'll bet) really brings out the best and the worst in family members in a way that I haven't seen with other medical procedures. Maybe it's because the end result, weight loss, will change the status quo for everyone around the bandster in a way that, say, knee surgery won't.

Your SO might have dropped a few pounds by eating healthy and watching his portions, but can he keep it off? As I understand it, that's one of the primary criteria for getting the band in the first place - trying and failing other weight loss programs, like dieting - which you have obviously tried or you wouldn't have been approved to get the band.

I had an old friend once say to me, "Talk is cheap. Watch the feet." 'Nuff said.

BadgerMom

I was somewhat over the blithering idiot stage by the next day. I stayed overnight. But it was still a hard drive home. Now if I can just get over this pain at the port site I can start shaking my booty till it falls off!:frown:

Hi,

I am also the wife of a newbie bandster. he will get his band on June 26 and he is very serious about losing weight. We have tried all types of diets and the results have been short term. Jenny Craig worked but it is expensive after a while and we did not have time to make the support meetings.

We are hoping this works long term. I wish you and your family luck. Stop in and let us know how it goes for your bandster.

Lindy07

My partner is having the lapband surgery June 23. Saturday we started the 10 day liquid pre op. I'm not having the surgery but to be supportive I'm following the liquid diet also. I agree about the friends not being supportive. Most of our friends when she was thinking about having the surgery tried to talk her out of it, instead of listening to her concerns. My partners 84 year old mother is leaving with us and I'm afraid she will try and sabatoge her once she starts loosing weight. My partner is the one that found the web site and we started reading about the other couples same problems. Through talking to others it puts things in perpective. I'm glad we found this place to talk.

Hey Badgermon just wanted to say Hello. I just put out my first post and notice your not far from Madison and your partner is being banded on the 23rd. We leave about 35 minutes from Madison and my partner is being baqned on the 23rd, What a small world. Good luck to you both. Just stay positive, that's how I'm trying to deal with everything.

Hello Everyone:

I'm flying from New Mexico to Phoenix for my first appointment with a Lap Band doctor. I'm hoping my health insurance company approves the surgery. I have Lovelace Health Plan. I'm wondering if there's anyone out there who has Lovelace and has had problems with them paying for the surgery. Otherwise, I don't think I can afford it.

Thanks for your email. I am trying to be supportive, as well. My husband did not have to be on an all liquid diet for pre op but I am fixing him his dinner (4oz lean meat and veggie) plus he is drinking the Protein shake for Breakfast and he has fruit and yogurt for lunch so, I am doing Slim Fast for breakfast and canned Soup for lunch and I eat what he eats in he evening. I am sure your partner will have the support she needs from you.

Good luck on the banding on the 23rd. Let me know how you guys do.

Hugs,

Lindy07

If you want to create a social group/forum for family you can, it's basically a forum. You do it under social groups. First you make the group and once 2 or more people join the group you can goto the bottom of the group page and click create forum. :smile2:

Thanks Froggie! I appreciate the suggestion! Keep up the good work and keep in touch.

Hugs,

Lindy07

You're welcome

JoJo,

Is your partner being banded in Beloit?

BadgerMom