Sitting here sobbing over the season finale of greys anatomy. How ridiculous. I am just feeling all this stuff I haven't felt in a while...probably cause I can stuff them with food..or at least I did in the past.

Today was my first day back at school.I brought my Breakfast but never made tome to eat it so I had egg salad for lunch and then when I got home at 5 I was Starving! well, okay..hungry. And I ended up overeating. Ihad about 500 cal of some junk...nothing to get stuck but still..calories that were empty ones.

At least I had the intelligence to stop at 500 cal and not 5000 as I would have had in the past..so I will give myself a bit of credit. But I need to always be concious of WHY I am eating. I was hungryl...but I shouldhave added some veggies to my dinner...or something healthier.

ANyway..wanted to share.

Cindi

Cindi, You are doing the best thing ever...getting this off your chest. We all have days like that so you are not alone. Like you said - you had the sense to stop at 500 not 5000 calories. My only advice is to use a cooking time or your cell phone as an alarm -- let it go off when you need to eat or else you'll forget. I learned this from my friend who had gastric bypass and it works for those of us with lap bands.

You are doing great and will be a success on this journey!

Take care,

Dolores

I remember my first days after surgery. It seemed like every time I turned around it was time for a "meal" or a protein drink. (3 times a day each). When I'm on my regular schedule now I'm OK, but if I get busy, I can forget to eat or drink. Who knew that could happen? I try very hard to be organized and make things up ahead of time, prepare tomorrows lunch and shakes the night before, etc. Never was much for planning, but I guess that's what got me into this. I'll have to learn to use the alarm on my phone.

Linesj there was a show briefly on cable about two years ago called STARVED......GAWD is was horrible, it was a train wreck...and I loved it ....it's main premise was about a group of people that each had food issues....one of the characters used to buy the "ding dong" type product open it up....toss it in the trash and then sprinkle cleanser on top to make sure that he would not dig it out later...I think in one episode he even did dig it out and scrape off the cleanser......I have to believe the show was cancelled because it was raw in its subject matter, and I think it had a limited audience appeal - it was twisted and sick - if only I could get a season video

Okay, Once I moved up to NY no more Dolly Madison Zingers, now Walmart sells Zingers, but I haven't bought them yet!!!!!!!!

Thanks guys. God, its hard. I don't know how I am gonna make it to my first fill. The first 2 weeks were okay because it was all new and my mind was telling my body to heal, but now I am just missing eating real food. I have mushies this week, but they just aren't enough. I want more. I have no restriction and I want to eat dang it!

To top it all off, I went back to work today and as I sat down to have a few sips of Soup, one of the doctors walked in with a cooler of Coke and 10 tubs of Blue Bell ice cream for all of the ER staff to eat for the holiday. THEN another nurse brought in chili, fritos, cheese, onions. Oh GOD! I was in my little shell at home recovering, but now I have to jump back into the real world and see food again. Yikes