Hey everyone! So I'm new here, but I didn't really find a thread totally appropriate to post this in, so I started one up. Sorry if its a repeat.

Anyway, so I'm about three days away from my band, getting REALLY pumped!

BUT what I was gonna post about is about the whole dating life, romance, etc. pre and post band. I'm 21 and I'm a senior at a Woman's College, and becasue I've been fat ALL my life, certainly all of my teen years, etc., I am hella shy and terrible at dating. I mean, I can flirt with the best of them, I just can't find boys that I both like on an intellectual and physical level that I feel comfortable approaching.

I have never seriously dated. I was in love with a boy for a long, long time (middle, highscool, most of college) and so I never really approached anyone else, because he was where my mind was all those years.

ANYWAY, point is that I miss boys! I miss chatting and flirting and all of that....so are there ladies out there that can sympathize?

I mean, I'm a little afraid of my inexpereience in dating because I know its going to change post-band.

I'd also love to hear from you boys. How has it been for you guys? Its always been this chief struggle in my life, and I'm looking forward to a time when I don't have to worry about it.

Anywhooo, I'd love to hear from you boys. And of course, you beautiful ladies!

I soooooooooo get this!

I constantly complain about how there are no good men out there - and I realised that the only men I am meeting are the ones who like fat chicks (or who like me despite the fact I am fat) and I have deliberated over settling for them.... although I realised when I was talkiing about the banding the other night with a friend of mine and I was also talking about this guy who i am not sure if he's keen/or really if I am keen - and she was saying imagine how good you would feel if you could finally get thinner, and all the guys that would be keen etc. and I said it all when I said "god yes, I would so not be interested in Blah blah if I was thin" and I thought oh jeez, I am totally settling as I don't think I can do better because I am fat.

I am so excited that I won't have this HUGE (pun intended) barrier between me and finding someone who I love and who can love me. Both by more men finding me attractive - and by me being more confident in talking to them - that I will get to meet more men, and finally meet someone I click with. I've been single now for a few years but was in a realtionship for 6 years before that and I although I have really enjoyed being single, I am starting to feel very scared I will not find anyone.

I am not really looking forward to rubbing anyones face in it - exes etc - well maybe one... but mainly looking forward to being able to go to school reunions and catching up wth old family friends from years ago - and not feeling like they will think i have failed in life because I am fat.

Ugh.. emotional purge over... heh.

Edited January 25, 200917 yr by lingling

HEY- IM A 22 YEAR OLD GUY, WENT FROM 380 TO 293 IN EIGHT MONTHS, THE LADIES HAVE BEEN MUCH MORE RECEPTIVE TO ME NOW.....GOOD THING RIGHT?, HAHAHAHA WRONG. The girls i used to know are like ahhhh you look so good, im like what was wrong with me before. every new girl i meet im like wuld they of liked me 87lbs ago. i admit it, i am very effing angry with people. read my post "THE ABYSS IS FURIOUS.....HELP WITH PEOPLE" that has my whole story. i am just real parinoid with people now, i feel like no matter what i do i will be judged for either being FAT OR THIN. hahaha, i just wish people, and these girls in my life just would see me, fat or thin, LATER ON AND GOOD LUCK-FURIOUS ABYSS

I'm so happy I found this section of the forum! I totally relate to so much of what you guys are saying... Guys happy to hook up with us late at night, but never wanting people to know, never willing to call us a girlfriend.

I "saw" this guy for 6 months, we were the bestest of friends before that, it was like we were dating but never were, then one night we hooked up, and then - to me we were dating. I mean we went out for dinner, saw movies together, went to parties together - they went home and hooked up. If that's not a relationship idk what is! But I could tell he just didn't want to call it that... Because he is hot and buff and all that, and had never dated a girl who was less than perfect... So we were "just friends who hooked up sometimes." But then I had to move away, totally not his fault... But he's SO cold to me now... I know he had feelings for me, and I can't wait to go back, have him see me at a healthier (LOWER) weight, and totally ignore him. Haha!

Good luck to all of you... I'm getting banded on March 4th and I CAN. NOT. WAIT!!!

xoxoxox

Edited February 6, 200917 yr by Angie1985

It's good to know I am not alone in this department. I often feel sad sometimes because I've never really had a serious relationship with a guy as old as I am. I do hear though that good things come to those who wait, so we will see.. :biggrin:

'Love doctor' advice for girls, Date a Nerd! I use that term loosely, but engineers, scientists, intellects, etc.

I'm not just saying that because I'm a computer scientist, but because other groups have socially suffered like overweight people. Most nerds have trouble in the romance dept because they're shy and afraid of rejection, too. But one thing I can vouch for is nerds treat their dates like Gods/Goddesses because they don't get many opportunities so they make the best of it.

As far as looks, there ARE good looking nerds, too. If you're wanting to connect to someone on more than just a physical level, it's a good route.

I've recommended a lot of my female friends this route, and have a 100% satisfaction rate thus far.

...Just a thought!

Edited February 14, 200917 yr by MrRiceGuy