Come out of the band failure closet!

[brandyII 9]

I was here on LBT when a super moderator recommended a young woman to watch this videoblog of another young woman who had gastric bypass. melting mama: Do I regret my gastric bypass? However the woman looks absolutely amazing now, she suffers from a lot of nasty side effects, seizures, etc. She goes in great detail in her daily blogs and her you tube videos. After reading her blog, it sounds like almost all sugar for her is a big no-no. Kind of a harsh trade off. What exactly is normalcy? Obesity? Reconstructed intestines? Side effects?

But as stated by the person above this, any diet or weightloss surgery still takes dedication and hard work. I have an acquaintance who has had bypass, and she lost quite a bit at first, but gained quite a bit back. She also traded one addiction for another. She drinks more because the bypass allows her to get intoxicated faster. She smokes more now that she goes to more bars. I don't think she has addressed the reason why she turned to food for comfort in the first place. Bands and bypasses do not fix the problems and traumas which we suffer, unfortunately.

Having been an obese child into my teen years, to adult, I can identify with feelings of desperation to do anything to get this weight off, no matter what the cost. Whatever it is we choose, I just wish nothing but success and happiness for all of us. I am tired of passing up opportunities and declining invitations because of my weight. I just want to start living. Good Luck everyone.

My 19 year old daughter had gastric bypass about two weeks ago and so you don't have to tell me about the risks, I have to deal with my own flesh and blood going through it and all the worries I'll have for quite a while. So if I pass on watching a video right now on someone's bad gastric bypass I hope you don't hate me!

We all take risks and hopefully have made the right choice for ourselves when it comes to WLS. I am no different than anyone else except that I'm not doing as well but I'm still trying. If anyone knows it's not easy it's me or my ticker would have moved more than a fricken 3 pounds. OK I change that, it did move over 20 pounds but in the wrong direction.

I'm assuming we've all screwed up on diets in the past or we wouldn't have gotten this surgery. What's to say that we still won't now? A band around my belly is my tool now and I'm still trying to get it to work for me and me for it. If I don't I'm the one who has to live with the consequences. Not you or my surgeon or anyone but me.

Is it diet or die trying, no I think I will go on as I have for the last twenty years as a pleasantly plump large boned woman who is kind and funny, loves her husband and her children and her animals and had a pretty face when she was 20. There is a point where I will have to stop and admit defeat though but it doesn't mean my life is over and I'm not a worthy human being, especially being a female in a society where fat is considered unacceptable and ugly and probably contageous!

[brandyII 9]

Thanks Fanny,

I appreciate your support from down under, I know I get a bit crazy now and again but I think I've had a break through, knock on wood!!!! brandyII:cool2:

[JaimeSTL 4]

Well eating a little piece of chocolate may not do it for me, I have certain trigger foods that I just can't keep in the house. It may have something to do with my hormones during times of the month or my antidepressants or just my makeup.

If you can function that way that's wonderful but not everyone is that strong for many reasons. I don't know if I would get an RNY at this point in my life now anyway and it's not proven whether or not everyone has dumping syndrome. There's is the malabsorption aspect to it that helps with weight loss and some do get dumping syndrome which supposedly is not something that one enjoys.

If you are the type of person that eats a whole lot of food and have restriction with the lap band then it should work fine for you. If on the other hand you have a really slow metabolism after years of yo yo dieting and are at a certain age and have other issues that may affect how successful you will be on the band it may not work as well. I don't know how to explain it any better but not everyone will do well on the band whether or not you want to say they are not doing enough of the work is up to you to decide????

Why are the trigger foods in the house? My husband and kids know that there are some things we can't have in the house because just the thought of them makes me crazy. For example, I don't allow any soda in the house. Just the smell of it makes me want it, plus my kids just don't need the crap either. Everybody in my family is eating better and getting healthier because I am. My kids are both thin, though my 5 year old was starting to get a little chunky because she's very drawn to sweets and I do not want her to start down that road because I have been there all my life.

I'm not here to say anybody is or isn't working hard enough for their band. I don't know where you got that from my post. I did say that it takes some level of work. I'm the opposite of Jachut--I don't like to exercise, I'm very clumsy and hurt myself in the stupidest ways, and I'm completely uncoordinated. So I choose to do the lower calories, track what I eat, etc., to balance out the amount of exercise I do. If you aren't willing to exercise or to watch your intake, how can you really expect results?

I am sure there are people that won't do well with the band. I was worried I would be one of them. I have PCOS and insulin resistance which has contributed to my weight gain over the years and I was really concerned that those things would hinder my loss. I think that most people who go through WLS have done years of yo-yo dieting, and have crappy metabolism. I would work with the doctor and nutritionists to find ways to boost your metabolism, find optimal restriction, and work with the band. In your case, if you feel you're eating slider foods and too restricted, how about a complete unfill and work your way back to restriction slowly? If you haven't already, I would request a swallow study to make sure you haven't had a slip. But that's just me and my opinion if I were in your shoes. If you have a strategy that you are happy with, good luck.

[Froggi 4]

We raised smarter kids?

I was offered gastric bypass at a younger age and said hell no because it was so invasive.

How can you say that your kids are smarter by choosing a more invasive surgery than banding.

I have friends who has bypass and in the long run, they gained their weight back, are eating badly again and aren't happy with themselves yet again.

With Lapband, you can control it your whole life. If you are hungry and think you need a fill, you call your doctor see what he or she says and get a fill and be on your way.

Lapband is like a little surgery every time you need a fill, I think it's the smartest decision I will have ever made in my life, and I cannot wait until I get it done.

As for saying your kids are smarter by choosing a surgery that causes dumping syndrome, and rerouting the stomach/intestines and is a lot more dangerous, I'd say that's stupid. But hey that's me.

Surgery isn't a miracle either way. No matter what kind you have. You still have to work at it. NO matter it be bypass or banding. If you want to change your life bad enough and be at a healthier weight, you gotta work for it. That's all I can say.

Byebye.

Edited June 8, 2008 by froggi1985

[brandyII 9]

Jaime,

I've very happy for you that this is working the way you wanted it to. That's wonderful and no I don't have chocolate in the house at the moment but if I have a really bad craving I know where my car keys are. Circumstances lately have been such that there had been more junk type foods in the house because I had visitors. No biggy, but no lossy.

Anyway we're all very different and I'm almost 20 years older than you and in those 20 years I have yo yo'd a bit more than you I'm afraid.

I am looking at this with a new perspective now and I feel good about it. I am not dieting but that doesn't mean I won't lose weight now and may lose weight now and keep it off. It's called learning to accept myself as I am and not fight with myself anymore over my weight.

It's taken me quite a while to reach this point and it maybe the best thing I have ever done, good luck to you and all of us, brandyII.

[brandyII 9]

I was offered gastric bypass at a younger age and said hell no because it was so invasive.

How can you say that your kids are smarter by choosing a more invasive surgery than bypass.

I have friends who has bypass and in the long run, they gained their weight back, are eating badly again and aren't happy with themselves yet again.

With Lapband, you can control it your whole life. If you are hungry and think you need a fill, you call your doctor see what he or she says and get a fill and be on your way.

Lapband is like a little surgery every time you need a fill, I think it's the smartest decision I will have ever made in my life, and I cannot wait until I get it done.

As for saying your kids are smarter by choosing a surgery that causes dumping syndrome, and rerouting the stomach/intestines and is a lot more dangerous, I'd say that's stupid. But hey that's me.

Surgery isn't a miracle either way. No matter what kind you have. You still have to work at it. NO matter it be bypass or banding. If you want to change your life bad enough and be at a healthier weight, you gotta work for it. That's all I can say.

Byebye.

Froggie,

I believe you took something I said kind of out of context. I was discussing this with another fellow bandster whose daughter also had the RNY surgery.

We both have that in common and it was nice to have someone to share the fears and excitement for my daughter with. Her daughter had the surgery a few years ago and is doing well and also had a baby since so it was good news to me.

I'm not going to argue with you over this as I know you're excited to have the surgery. It's not a competition over who is better bypass or lap band, both are major decisions although one surgery is more major than the other. I don't know what I would have done if my daughter were given the lap band and it not work out as she had hoped, it would have been devastating to both of us:frown:.

You chose the lap band so naturally you don't want to see any one say anything negative and that's understandable, it's like someone telling you your kid is bad in a way.

Anyway I'm kind of going through both surgeries in a way because of my daughter and myself so it's a different experience. My daughter is almost 30 years my junior and doing very well so far in her short journey and has a much more disciplined manner that I don't have! I on the other hand have much more experience in other ways and also more health issues along with my age which include physical and emotional that I am dealing with in order to accomplish my original goal of weight loss.

I'm coming to terms with my issues and hope that may work in my favor in the end, take care and good luck and health to you Froggie and I know how exciting this time is for you:smile: brandyII.

[Froggi 4]

I know why you said it I read all the posts. You still said perhaps our kids are smarter and by that you meant with going with a different surgery than lapband. I know what I saw but I am done with the negativity.

[Jachut 487]

BrandyII the longer this thread has gone on, the more the excuses are coming out. Every single helpful, supportive suggestion is met with a reason why you cant do it. Really think about it, most of what you've said is that you just dont want to do this, that or the other. You cant diet, because that makes you rebellious, you cant exercise becuase you dont like it, you cant have just a little piece of chocolate becuase that doesnt do it for you, I started out thinking you had a genuine problem causing you to not lose, but really, I think if you could get your head around it and face up to the work you have to do, you could do it. You may not have spectacular results because you may indeed have made it hard by yo yoing all your life, well, lots of overweight people face that.

But you are completely right, its either face it or accept your current situation. And I dont see anything really wrong with accepting the current situation, not everyone wants to live a life focussed on watching their weight. When it comes right down to it, that's what it takes and either you will do it or you wont. But with all due respect, that is not the fault or failing of the lap band.

You know, the sudden knowledge and understanding might hit you out of the blue one day - it did me. I just woke up one day determined that I was going to take constructive action to beat this problem. I was ready for the drastic step of surgery. Perhaps as I think you've said, you had the surgery before you were ready. But the band is there, and wheh you are ready to work with it, it will do its job.

Edited June 9, 2008 by Jachut

[brandyII 9]

Jachut,

By not thinking I am dieting I am succeeding with this. I am not wanting to overeat because I'm not depriving myself as I've done my whole dieting career, so maybe I haven't explained it well enough but it's really a positive thing.

Basically I'm not waking up for the one billionth time saying I'm going to diet and do well this day. I gave up on that but not on health or losing weight. Does that make sense?

I am also going to a lap band support group at my surgeon's office, does this sound like I don't care?

Edited June 9, 2008 by brandyII

[Jachut 487]

No, I get that its positive, and i think its probably a really good focus for you, for me, getting the lapband was about the exact same thing - never dieting again. Its all in how you look at it.

You just have to be comfortable with the results - they wont be spectacular weight loss, but normalising your relationship with your food and body is a FAR greater achievment than hitting some goal weight.

[brandyII 9]

Jachut,

It's very true. I went into getting the lap band and knowing that I may lose slower, and I was ok with that and also that I may not lose as much, for example percentage wise and I was ok with that too. As I weighed 252 I did not want nor expect to get down to 125 again. Not that it's bad I knew I had difficulties staying at such a low weight for me.

I've had to come to terms with many things when it comes to weight the amount I wanted to weigh is one of them. I still don't know where I want to be or where I will be in the future. That for now is not going to be my focus but I did use 200 pounds as my first goal but that in itself to me is a pretty big goal. And I don't know if I really want to look at it that way anymore either.

But right now on the east coast of the US it is extremely hot! Not that I get any pity from those of you from "down under" but exercising outside right now is kind of out of the question, at least not for us non-die hard types but I do hope to become more active in the future also.

They just started this lap band support group and so I'll be attending the first meeting and will be with a bunch of newbies and I'm going to be careful to keep my mouth shut!!!lol, take care Nancy.

[lizzy h 0]

BrandyII the longer this thread has gone on, the more the excuses are coming out. Every single helpful, supportive suggestion is met with a reason why you cant do it. Really think about it, most of what you've said is that you just dont want to do this, that or the other. You cant diet, because that makes you rebellious, you cant exercise becuase you dont like it, you cant have just a little piece of chocolate becuase that doesnt do it for you, I started out thinking you had a genuine problem causing you to not lose, but really, I think if you could get your head around it and face up to the work you have to do, you could do it. You may not have spectacular results because you may indeed have made it hard by yo yoing all your life, well, lots of overweight people face that.

But you are completely right, its either face it or accept your current situation. And I dont see anything really wrong with accepting the current situation, not everyone wants to live a life focussed on watching their weight. When it comes right down to it, that's what it takes and either you will do it or you wont. But with all due respect, that is not the fault or failing of the lap band.

You know, the sudden knowledge and understanding might hit you out of the blue one day - it did me. I just woke up one day determined that I was going to take constructive action to beat this problem. I was ready for the drastic step of surgery. Perhaps as I think you've said, you had the surgery before you were ready. But the band is there, and wheh you are ready to work with it, it will do its job.

Jachut

Thanks. I needed a kick in the rear and you had a few buzz words that worked well for me. For the rest of this evening I am going to try and keep reminding myself that I control this thing (eating) and I can beat it......when I exercise I only know how to do it one way..HARD. Through high school and college I was on a crew team - can you believe it lightweight!, anyway our mantra was no pain no gain. I dispise running, but I love the elliptical and the treadmill with a big incline, I just can't find the time right now.......so here is the newest tool in my arsonel...I waited in line for 2 hours this morning and was #19 in line at my local Best Buy (I even walked there) for one of 40 Wii Fits that they got today.......

[brandyII 9]

Lizzy,

That sounds like fun. My eldest daughter has the playstation III, I think that's the newer one and I kind of wish she had gotten the wii instead. She got it just so she could play Guitar Hero which I hate!!! Anyway have fun with the wii, I'm jealous. brandyII:glare:

[sdbeachmom 1]

Well, you have brought up a lot of really good points. Sounded like me 5 years ago. Follow the band rules, and you will be great! haha

I wish I could take back all the rah rah stuff.

You can have all the right answers and do the right things when your band is adjusted and working properly. Mostly.....

And I say that with hesitation because we wouldn't have needed a weight loss "tool" in the first place if we could control our appetites and urges.

Therefore using logic we must come to a conclusion that this "tool" might not work for everyone in the same way. Or the "magic" may not last forever.

Or, we may not hit the magic number we were hoping for and have to settle for what we achieved.

Sometimes things just go wrong, or maybe we just go wrong. That's real life.

It's wonderful to be able to reach nirvana, but lest we may fall back or not get to that great place, one might want to hold back on the "I'm so glad I am doing beautifully, and will forever, and you must be a failure for not heeding the information we all signed at surgery rant.

I know what we read at the beginning, and I pray no one has to feel this failure and shame.

Do just a bit more research and look at the 5 year mark for both surgeries. And write back in 5 years.......

Good Luck Everyone! I wish you all pain free happy days.

[brandyII 9]

sdbeachmom,

thanks for popping in after five years, it's a whole other perspective we don't always get!:smile:brandyII