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My own worst enemy

I have been trying to decide if I would post this to my blog (which I may in the long run) but wanted to post it here for my fellow January's to read as well to see what others have to say, if I'm not the only one with this struggle (I can't be!)...

In 2 days (April 23rd) I will be 3 months post op (my surgery was Jan 23) and I have lost 33.5lbs (includes 5lbs preop) with my journey so far (tomorrows my "weigh in" day so I'm not sure if that 33.5 has changed much for the past week) and if you were to break that down to 33.5 lbs divided by 3 months that is just over 11 lbs per month. Although that's not how it was lost, it's been in spurts and stages - one week nothing, maybe gain a pound, next week down 4 lbs - I'm sure you all know how that goes... So all in all 11 lbs a month is a good start (even though a good chunk of that was lost in the post-op diet phase).

Despite my 33.5 lbs in almost 3 months I cannot help but feel I am my own worst enemy when it comes to this surgery. I have had two fills thus far and have slight restriction - I say slight because the only thing that stops me from eating when I have that full feeling is me - if I keep going I won't PB or anything of the sort.. in fact to date I have never PB'd or slimed. My food choices some days are less than fantastic (not all the time but definitely I'd say a good 65% of the time) and HATING cooking doesn't do me any favors (especially when you have to cook for more than just you). Yes, I eat WAY less than I would have post band that's for sure but I can't help but think I could be doing SO much better with this than I am yet even though I think that I can't seem to put it into action.

I want more than anything to be successful with this surgery but seem to be lacking that little "click" in my brain that tells me what I should and should not be eating. I have an appointment this Friday with my doc just as a general checkup/follow up and if I need a fill we will go from there. I'm starting to wonder if maybe I need to be one of those people that has the super restriction in order to make the best of this as opposed to one that can still eat everything but in lesser amounts (like I am now).

Thoughts, opinions? Anything?

Much luv.

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Hey everyone, sorry I've been absent and unresponsive to this thread - I usually get to do most of my reading and posting at work (it's been slow lately) however for some reason for the past day and a bit Lapbandtalk website wouldn't load up (very frustrating) so now that it is working.... Here goes.. :cool:

Hang in there, you guys are all losing, remember, you didn't get fat in a year, so its going to take at least a year to lose it.

Don't look at what other people are doing, they aren't you and you don't know what they really are doing to lose the weight.

Remember to journal what you are putting in your mouth, be it food or liquid. Remember to exercise, every little bit helps.

I am at 6.1cc's now, after 4 fills, and I think I am almost at, if not at, my sweet spot. Suddenly, not able to eat and eat, feel satisfied sometimes after 5 bites, sometimes can't even get liquid down. But you know what? The scale hasn't changed since my fill last week. Its going to happen.

Don't be beating yourselves up. After all, how many years has it been that you have seen this lower weight? For me, its about 6 years, 40 lousy pounds and I am back to what I was 6 years ago. If it wasn't for the band, I would not have lost a pound.

Remember that food is not your friend and is not your crutch, it is only needed to sustain your body. Make it impersonal.

Very, Very well said. I especially like the part about "Food is not your friend and is not your crutch, it is only needed to sustain your body. Make it impersonal". I really had to stop and think when I read that as to how I treat food and I know I need to form a new relationship with it.

This has been a very good thread for me to read. I am feeling the same as you lately. I seem to be struggling with the same 2 pounds up and down for several weeks now. I am working so hard but my resolve is slipping as HUNGER is starting to take hold again. I neeeed another fill, thank goodness I only have to wait until next Tuesday.

It is really great to know I am not alone in this struggle. :0)

I hear ya girl, I have been fighting the same 4 lbs for almost a month and it is driving me crazy! I hope my fill tomorrow gives me some much needed restriction.

When are my new eating habits going to kick in on autopilot? When will I not want to turn to food for comfort? I know if I did not have my surgery, I would not be down 35 pounds right now, I would probably be at an all time high. The Lap Band is such a wonderful tool for the physical portion of the weight loss, but the emotional part even harder!

If you find out the answers to those questions pleeease let me know as I so desperately want to know as well. When will I start eating better and not eat corn chips (yah I ate a bunch today *sigh*). I KNOW I SHOULDNT EAT BAD FOODS BUT I STILL DO!! MAKE ME STOP! lol

Oh Angie... I know what you mean:

think I am sabotaging myself as well and I dont know how to get out of the rut....I have restriction 6.6ccs in a 10 cc band. I dont know I guess I thought this tool would've been easier....I think in mind before

surgery I was going to change all my habits and lost a ton of weight.

I was going to be down 4 dress sizes by summer and people were going

to notice a differance in me.

Things I have changed:

Working out at least 2 days a week hard core

Eating less

Not drinking with meals

Eating somewhat better......still crave the Cookies though

Drinking more Water and milk

Things I still need to change

Exercising 5 days a week consistently

Waking up earlier in the morning (so I can get home earlier and make

it to the gym)

Eating healthy consistently (what does that mean....organizing my

meals? I dont know)

Thinking positively and not put myself down

Stop making excuses!!!

I am happy that I have lost 25 pounds and a dress size but I know that

I am not doing everything I can and its making me feel depressed.

Well done on your progress to your changes so far, that's a definitely good start. I need to start laying out a plan I think as to when I'm going to allow myself to treats, when I'm going to exercise and have a written plan that I look at everyday as this winging it thing is CLEARLY not working for me.

You know, I'm down 34 pounds in the three months since my surgery, and it's never once occurred to me to consider myself a 'slow' loser. Even if I'd lost 20 pounds in 3 months, that's still an average of 7 pounds a month, which is as fast as I've lost on any program I've ever been on.

For how much of that 3 months have any of you had restriction? At MOST you could have had it for 2 months, and that's if you got your first fill at 4 weeks out and if you achieved restriction immediately. For heaven's sake, people, give yourselves a little credit and recognize that if you've lost anything in that time period, it's all you. Stop looking at other people's stats (people lie), focus on yourself, realign your expectations to reasonable ones, and hold the self-condemnation until the band has had time to do its job.

I know it's frustrating to know you're doing everything right and not see progress on the scale. Believe you me, I know. But Ang is right that she's her own worst enemy, just as I am my own worst enemy, as are we all. I've been my worst enemy for my whole freakin' life, which is how I ended up morbidly obese, and unless I acknowledge and deal with that, I won't be successful with this. Telling yourself you're a failure when you're THREE MONTHS into this journey is exactly what the 'enemy' part of you wants. Focus on the good things you've all done over the last three months, on the positive changes you're making, and give your body the time it needs to figure out how to work with the band.

Ninja, you make MANY great points in this post. First of all, I agree 34 lbs in 3 months I don't think officially counts as being a "slow loser" and I am not going to label myself that yet. I do not feel it is fair to give a label at all let alone one based on imperfect restriction. And even though I do look at others stats for a "mild comparison" I remind myself that everyone's situation, metabolism, etc is different for all I know they lost 50% of the weight on their ticker in a preop diet.

As for the past 3 months - I would say I have had not quite slim to none but close to restriction - while I get a bit of a full feeling and subsequently eat less the thing stopping me from eating any more is.. me - I have not had any feeling of PB or slime or anything of the sort. I am really hoping tomorrow's fill will bring me to that restriction level where I stop eating when full "or else" because sometimes I'm not so good at telling myself :angry::crying: (ie: I ate two pieces of fish and chips for dinner and then had Dairy Queen for dessert last night). *sigh*

Ninja - I'm so glad you hopped on here - yes, Ang you are averaging 10lbs a month...ur doing good! That is exactly what "they" say you are supposed to be at. But, of course, you can make sure you are doing what you need to help.....Is it your TOM? How's your salt intake? How's ur Water intake? Are you getting enough Protein?

I was at a pretty big stand still between middle of Feb and middle of March I think I lost 7 in 6 weeks but then 2 things kicked my ass into gear I had a fill (which didn't do much physically, but in my head I started making better choices than I had been and I was on my bike FULL TIME-not by choice-lol!) otherwise I probably would have lost about 5 lbs in the last 2 months...but then again - I have always dropped weight quickly - it's just keeping it off is my problem!!! Everybody is different!

But WE ALL have 1 thing in common and that damn cookie monster showed up at my work today...don't think I'll be seeing a good number on the scale this week!?!?!? geez

Good luck girl! You are already successful! Keep it up!

I still eat "bad" things, but so do skinny, healthy people. You can't try to cut it out and if you label it, then you eat it, then it is bad and you feel guilty--then if you're like me you eat more of it. I finally quit doing that to myself and if I want it, I eat it. It seems that I have much more control over my eating if I don't make a "do not eat" list. I can stop at 2 girl scout cookies instead of trying to eat a whole box and making myself sick. It will happen for all of us. It just takes a long time to change our lifetime habits. We are on a journey--you can't fail on a journey, you can only slip up, or fall down, then you get up and never look back! Good luck and WTG!!!!:thumbup:

I'm so pleased to have found this thread! I am in the same predicament and have been wondering very much about how others cope. SO good to read honest and sensible stories like these - you have helped me more than you know.

This is my first ever post on this forum - so you can see how important this topic is to me.

My story:

Starting weight: 218 lbs

Current weight: 191 lbs

Loss: 27 lbs

Banding date: Jan. 08, 2008

Fills: One - 2mls.

Problems: lots of problems with eating meat. Lots of PB (what does that stand for, by the way??) and slime.

Have had a very slow last 4 weeks (only lost 1 pound) but have been eating very poorly and not exercising. Amounts are significantly reduced but quality of food is often not the best (fat, sugar, etc.)

The reason? extremely busy month at work with lots of travel and staying in hotels, etc. Too much temptation! Too much stress! etc. All the excuses under the sun!

After reading this forum topic, I am much less depressed and much more motivated to "get back on track". So, thank you all!

I was starting to think I was alone in this situation. I was banded on 01/08/08 and lost about 30lbs in the first 2 months. Since then I haven't lost anything. I was getting very down about the whole thing but after reading this I feel much better. I think it was just what I needed to get recommited to getting results. Thanks so much everyone!!:wink2:

  • Author
I had Carvel today. Non fat twist cup. 150 calories, no fat. Enjoyed it very much, no regrets. Once in awhile its ok to do it.

What's a Carvel?

I still eat "bad" things, but so do skinny, healthy people. You can't try to cut it out and if you label it, then you eat it, then it is bad and you feel guilty--then if you're like me you eat more of it. I finally quit doing that to myself and if I want it, I eat it. It seems that I have much more control over my eating if I don't make a "do not eat" list. I can stop at 2 girl scout Cookies instead of trying to eat a whole box and making myself sick. It will happen for all of us. It just takes a long time to change our lifetime habits. We are on a journey--you can't fail on a journey, you can only slip up, or fall down, then you get up and never look back! Good luck and WTG!!!!:coolgleamA:

I completely agree with this Phowell, and think that it is a healthy way to view it. I'm not going to deny myself because if I do I'm going to binge and eat WAY too much, so instead I allow myself the occasional treat and that's what it is - a treat not a "bad thing".

I'm so pleased to have found this thread! I am in the same predicament and have been wondering very much about how others cope. SO good to read honest and sensible stories like these - you have helped me more than you know.

This is my first ever post on this forum - so you can see how important this topic is to me.

Welcome!! I'm glad that you found this thread helpful, we are definitely not abnormalities nor in it alone. We all have similar struggles and can be each others best support network! Hang in there, we can do it! *hug*

And PB stands for Productive Burp. :w00t:

I was starting to think I was alone in this situation. I was banded on 01/08/08 and lost about 30lbs in the first 2 months. Since then I haven't lost anything. I was getting very down about the whole thing but after reading this I feel much better. I think it was just what I needed to get recommited to getting results. Thanks so much everyone!!:cool2:

30 lbs in the first 2 months, that sounds familiar.. hehe. We can all do this, we're going to have our slip ups and whatnot along the way but we just have to get back up and keep going!

I had my 3rd fill this past Friday and I think it's actually going to be doing me some good!! And.... I lost 9lbs this past week woooo hooooo :w00t:

What's a Carvel?

Sorry, Carvel is a soft serve ice cream chain in the NY area. It was founded by Tom Carvel about 100 years ago.

They make these fabulous ice cream cakes with these chocolate crunchies in them. Its an all ice cream cake too, no real cake. Yummy.

They now have fat free soft vanilla and chocolate, and its delicious. I eat a small one every other Wednesday.

It doesnt seem like any of you are slow losers. If you average your loss with the time it has taken, you all have lost any where from 1.5-3 lbs a week. That is normal. Maybe your expecting toomuch. This is a gradual thing but it really adds up. Hang in there good things happen to those who wait.

I was starting to think I was alone in this situation. I was banded on 01/08/08 and lost about 30lbs in the first 2 months. Since then I haven't lost anything. I was getting very down about the whole thing but after reading this I feel much better. I think it was just what I needed to get recommited to getting results. Thanks so much everyone!!:lol:

I was banded 01/08/2008 as well and I went through about a month of hell after I got off of Optifast and tried to go to only real food....my sugars shot up and I got very depressed, but somehow I broke through even though I didn't do anything different. I just tried to stay on the 1200 cal diet limit processed food and kept doing my best to exercise. The weight started coming off again...hang in there and really look at exactly what you are eating.

Ok I think I might have the solution to what a lot of you guys are going through. Send me a self addressed envelope and $29.95 and I will send you the answers you have been looking for. Once say 20 or 30 of you have sent me money I can afford to pay a shrink to figure out what the Hell is going on in my head that makes me want to continue down the same old path as I did before getting the band.

My Surgery date was January 11th, and as of today I have lost 46 pounds, but I am down right determined to make this thing fail. It has been a really stressful couple of weeks for me, and therefor I have fallen back into the old "food is my only friend" scenario. I was at the store last night feeling sorry for myself, and decided nothing would make me feel better than a King Size Reeses Cup.

Ok lets stop and take a vote. Who here thinks I was right, and those 4 wonderful combinations of chocolate and Peanut Butter nirvana made me feel better?

Well if you voted yes, then you need to send me $29.95 and I will send you a King Size Reeses cup and you can find out for yourself.

I myself have had two fills (4cc) and I need to go back for more. Its amazing how many tortilla chips I can still eat and feel no restriction. I had pizza for dinner last night and the pain was pretty bad... Did I stop? nope, but at least I had to suffer for it.

  • Author
Ok I think I might have the solution to what a lot of you guys are going through. Send me a self addressed envelope and $29.95 and I will send you the answers you have been looking for. Once say 20 or 30 of you have sent me money I can afford to pay a shrink to figure out what the Hell is going on in my head that makes me want to continue down the same old path as I did before getting the band.

My Surgery date was January 11th, and as of today I have lost 46 pounds, but I am down right determined to make this thing fail. It has been a really stressful couple of weeks for me, and therefor I have fallen back into the old "food is my only friend" scenario. I was at the store last night feeling sorry for myself, and decided nothing would make me feel better than a King Size Reeses Cup.

Ok lets stop and take a vote. Who here thinks I was right, and those 4 wonderful combinations of chocolate and Peanut Butter nirvana made me feel better?

Well if you voted yes, then you need to send me $29.95 and I will send you a King Size Reeses cup and you can find out for yourself.

I myself have had two fills (4cc) and I need to go back for more. Its amazing how many tortilla chips I can still eat and feel no restriction. I had pizza for dinner last night and the pain was pretty bad... Did I stop? nope, but at least I had to suffer for it.

*hug* sorry you have had a few stressful weeks, it's especially tough when under stress and hard to remember whats good vs, not so good. I have a hard time on a good day let alone a bad one.

Can't say I've ever had a King Size Reeses but I have heard from friends (who are "normals") that you don't feel so great afterwards! lol. And yes, why is it that tortilla chips go down oh so smoothly?

It's a battle, no doubt about it. Hang in there though, you can do it! *HUG*

you are worried about 20LBS in three months loss - that is great - I could do anything to have that THEN at least some of my clothes could be a little looser for on me. I HAVE ONLY LOST 8LBs since being banded on 01/21/08. That is almost shameful. Here is how I take it, I am at least in the right direction - at a snail's pace but in the right direction anyway.

The last three months have been pretty stressful for me - child custody issues and everything that comes with that!! So I ate my troubles away and with no restriction to SAVE ME from MYSELF - It all went down.

My custody issues are behind me now, I had my 3rd fill on 05/01/08. I am feeling some good restriction, the jury is still out on it being a 'the sweet spot'. I have incorporated four times a week CURVES. I am walking to and from work ( a total of 4 miles a day).... Lets see what two weeks of doing that will give me.

So I may have been slow in starting in relation to the January 08 bandster --- but i am still in the race, and have every intention of making it to the finish line.

I am so happy/sad/mad/relieved that I saw this post!:biggrin::sad::angry::ohmy::cool2:

Wow! Ok, first of all any loss is a good loss, right?! We all know that, but I definitely know how everyone here feels. I sit here after eating lunch and feeling ugly full, wondering when I am going to stop trying to sabotage my own efforts!

I have had 3 fills for a total of about 4mls in an 8(?) ml band. I do feel restriction, but am continually amazed at how much I can eat. (my mom even commented on that one day and it made me so mad! LOL) After reading some of your posts, I think I may not be at the optimal fill level yet! yay! there is hope!!!:thumbup:

I do also realize that I need to change some things like: not drinking with my meals, exercising ( I hate it but I really want to), eating healthier choices (freaking candy dish/tub :angry: at work is killing me!), eating protein first!

Also, for those of you "worried" about "only" losing x amount of weight - I count from when I started (this time!LOL:tt2:) which was LAST July. So, I have "only" lost 51 lbs in 10 months? better than continuing to gain! I feel so much better (well, usually, not right at this moment, blech...) I am sizes down from where I was! We are all really doing great! Even if we are only in the thinking about banding stage, we are better for it!:wub:

It totally helps me to know that this feeling must be normal and that I haven't "failed" my pre op psych eval and really must be a poor candidate for the surgery and they only did it for the money... :whatchutalkingaboutphew! I love me, I really love me! I just need to show me better! LOL

Thank you thank you for posting - everyone who did - you helped me!

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