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Husband Eating Everything!!!!



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are you sure your not married to my husband? A week after surgery he came in with girl scout Cookies, thin mints and yes I te some and then got heaRTBURN, NOW HE eats after i go to sleep, but that popcorn sure smelled good last night

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my husband made teryaki chicken the other day and i about wanted to kill him! It's my all time favorite, and of course it smelled throughout the whole house and was dying! Then he made Blueberry bread. I swear! I was litterally plotting to suffocate him in his sleep! lol...damn liquids!

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It is very hard to sit and watch while those around us are eating. I actually cried for several days when my boyfriend ate in front of me. I thought. "can't you see I am eating liquid shakes and you are frying food in front of me, how could you be so inconsiderate?" but then I started telling myself that he wasn't doing it to be mean, it was a decision I had made, and tried to find something else to do while he was eating. He even said, "I don't like eating in front of you, can't you eat some mashed potatoes or something?" He was trying to justify his eating and didn't realize it was just making it hard on me. I think the tears actually drove the point home. They just don't understand. Hang in there, tell him it is very hard on you and surely he will eat where you can't see him. :) Know that we are there with you (you know the old, been there done that statement)...:smile:

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Yes, you definitely have a right to be annoyed. My hubby told me to eat what he was eating...to just chew it and spit it out! I was so peeved when he came home with 2 pints of Haagen Daaz the day after surgery...I accused him of sabotage!

Hang in there... tell him to at least not eat it in front of you!

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I personally would be upset since your husband is suppose to encourage and support you. I'm lucky that my husband has been eating things that aren't as tempting such as eggs and Cheerios. We have an agreement, he can eat anything he wants as long as it isn't around me. So he can go out and have lunch and such but when he is home he eats what ever is around the house.

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I live with my mother, stepfather, and younger sister. I started my pre-op diet yesterday and made it a point to gather everyone up in one room and clarify for them what they are ALLOWED to eat until I am back to solids. They can have pizza, salad, Balogna Sandwiches, yogert, and sea food. Yeah. That's it. And, I also pointed out that should I find anything in the house that tempts me - my own food or theirs - I WILL throw it away. I'm not doing this to be mean- but everyone in my house (excluding my skinny butt step dad) can stand to lose a few pounds so it's not like they will starve, right? Besides, This is hard for me. I don't have the will power to stare down a bag of cheetos and not partake! :puke:

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Doesn't a woman ALWAYS have a right to be annoyed with her spouse??:)

Bravo! :puke: Awesome first post! LOL

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For all of you out there who don't want your husbands eating food in front of you, what are you doing about your families meals?

It's not that I don't want my DH eating food in front of me just don't make it a point to eat treats in front of me (or I'm afraid I WILL act like the family dog!) Don't order pizza until I am strong enought to turn up my nose, and I will reach that point. Don't take me to DQ knowing there is nothing on the menu I can order, don't put me in an eating environment where no Soups or mushies are available because right now I am building my willpower. I still cook a full meal for my family but at home I go and walk on the treadmill and maby lay in the tanning bed while they are eating. Last night my DH went to Sonic and bought ice cream but stopped by the grocery store and bought me a tub of fat free Cool Whip (low in fat, sugar, calories, carbs, and consistancy of pudding). I put a few tablespoons into a small cup and it was my treat! It also comes in choc!! :puke:

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Do I have a right to be annoyed by this?

Yes!, thats why DW and I got banded within 2 weeks of each other, so we'd both be in the same boat. Have a talk with him and let him know this is just a tool and you need some help on this. Perhaps he could have his big meal of the day when he is at work and something smaller when he is home. Keep in mind, you shouldn't deprive him either - but for this to work you will need some consideration on his part too.

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I think you have to come to a compromise. On the one hand, it is rude to continually eat junk food in front of you that you can't eat, knowing that it is tempting you. But on the other, the lapband surgery is your choice and you can't expect others to change their eating habits just because you have to.

This is a struggle for me. I cook dinner, so my husband and I always eat the same thing for that meal. He just eats a lot more of it than I do. We were always nighttime snackers and that has not changed for him. A few hours after dinner, he gets a bowl of potato chips. Or some candy. Or both. I do buy him baked chips at the grocery store, but I don't buy any sweets, so he buys this stuff on his own.

Sometimes I am tempted, especially by the candy (since it's mini Peppermint Patties, Rollos, etc), but I have not given in. That pretty much amazes me since there are at least 2 bags of candy in the fridge right now. When I was on my pre-op diet and for the first few weeks after surgery, he kept all of his Snacks elsewhere. Then he asked me a few weeks ago if I minded him putting them upstairs and I said no, I think I can resist them.

If I legitimately feel hungry while he is snacking, I will have a healthy snack (although I'm trying to do away with all snacking of course). But most of the time I just get a big glass of Crystal Light or tea and focus my attention elsewhere. I won't say it's easy, but I know that's what I have to do.

It's messed up to me, because seeing my husband eat reminds me that's how I used to eat. That's how I got to 300 pounds. He is a good 50 pounds overweight himself and has diabetes type II that is managed pretty well via medication. I would like him to change his eating habits, and it would be to his benefit, but I can't make him.

Edited by GreenChrysalis

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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