Haven't been here in a while, so here goes...

[waterlily1072 5]

Time for true confessions and recommittment. For those who don't know my story here is the quick catch up. I was banded almost 2 years ago I lost 85lbs my first year, not the biggest loser but not too shabby. Then tragedy struck and I lost my mother way too young to cancer. Since then I have gained back, gulp 30lbs. I have spent this last year feeling like a loser (not in the good sense) staying home and not wanting to be seen because everyone knows i had the surgery and everyone must be thinking i've failed. I have been living in one big pitty party and it's time to send the Cookies packing and the ice cream, and all the other unwanted guests that have found their way into my pantry and fridge. I have needed to make this post and be accountable for some time but have been afraid to admit my failure. Now for the good part.

I know that I am not a failure, I have just had a bad year. Who cares if people around me think I'm a fat failure because I know that I still have my band and it still works, if they have nothing better to do with their time than to judge me then that's their problem. I can quit eating junk, I did it for a whole year. I can do it again. It's silly to think that lifes troubles won;t throw us a few set backs, hey it's life. This has just proven to me that I do need to find a healthier way to deal with my emotions than to eat junk. Life is a lesson.

Now for the really good part. Recommitment. Today, I am going back to eating right, no sugar, no fried foods, no simple carbs, protien first then veggies and fruit, drink lots of Water. I can do this.

[ELKETTA 0]

way to go molly and good luck, let us know how it goes, we will all be here for support..

[Ang1982 4]

*big hug* Sounds like you are ready to get back on the horse girl. You can do it, you know you can, we know you can. Sounds like you had a pretty rough go of the past year or so. My heart is with you as I couldn't even imagine... Go get'em!

[CajunCutie 1]

Molly,

I am very sorry to hear about the death of your mother. I lost my mother at a young age too. The sadness will never completely leave...but it does get better with time.

Congrats on your recommitment! You are not a failure! We are here to support you! :thumbdown:

[shortgal 5]

Let us know how you do.

Another long term bander just posted about being off track, too. she is preparing to detox her system from the bad foods by doing the five day pouch test.

She will start a new thread and invite others to join her, if they feel they fell off the band wagon! It's a method used by GBP patients that have gotten off track as well.

http://www.5daypouchtest.com/plan/theplan.html

I think at some point, we will all need to do this test. To get back on track after a "vacation" from our band rules.

[libra 13]

Molly,

Hey girl. Glad to see you're back. You didn't fail, we all suffer setbacks and you had one of the worst. I've been sort of lax the last few months too. Maybe we can encourage each other to stick with it like we used to.

[*susan* 1,709]

Hi Molly and welcome back. I remember you, we were banded within a couple of weeks of each other.

First, I want to tell you how sorry I am to hear about the loss of your mother. That must have been a very difficult time for you.

I had some setbacks too and am just now getting back going again. Maybe we need to start an old-timer's rejuvenation thread or something to encourage one another, lol.

[waterlily1072 5]

Thanks guys :thumbup:

Hi Libra, hi Susan good to see both of you :cursing:

Shortgal thanks for the link I'm gonna try that. I know my pouch is still working though. A couple bites of bread and I'm in trouble. But It sounds like a good plan to help break the sugar cycle that I am so struggling with.

[shortgal 5]

Thanks guys :thumbup:

Hi Libra, hi Susan good to see both of you :cursing:

Shortgal thanks for the link I'm gonna try that. I know my pouch is still working though. A couple bites of bread and I'm in trouble. But It sounds like a good plan to help break the sugar cycle that I am so struggling with.

I really think the five day test is more about getting back on track and affirming for people that they havent' stretched their pouch ( that are worried about that and that it still works, that they are just choosing the wrong foods.

Once we let those addictive carbs back in, it's hard to get off again and break the cycle.

[betrthnever 107]

Hi Waterlily1072, you aren't a failure and I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm 16 days post op (of course no fill yet) wondering for how long will I be albe to resist junk food!

I was wondering, did you have restriction that year you gained back your weight? I'm just curious how it works...its all new to me still. thanks so much!

[spiketvl 0]

Molly firstly my sincere condolences on the loss of your dear mum. Please don't be too hard on yourself. I know if it happened to me 30 pounds would more than likely be 100. So think to yourself well I survived the year from hell and I only put on 30 pounds. And the beauty with this band is there is not time limits. So we dust ourselves off, go and get a fill, look the doctor straight in the eye and tell him what he needs to do to help you. Then recommit to the basics.

And if you would like a friend to help you along the way then from the other side of the world you have me. After six months of better than sainthood type behavior with eating and exercising I stupidly thought I could handle one little chocolate which spiraled out of control and after my 5 day binge I am sooo sick and don't ever want to feel like this again. So today I stand up and say I am ready to recommit to the sane healthily lifestyle I know I need. Wanna join me?

[Sapphire904 1]

Dear Molly, please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your Mother. I lost my Dad three years ago and I can speak from experience that it does get better. One day at a time. Remember all the good times and be kind to yourself. You have suffered a big loss.

As for me, I have just been banded for a week so I am not much help in that matter. However, in the past three years, I have not lost any weight. I applaud you for wanting to get that portion of your life back on track. We are all on a journey - one we can reach with all the support we find here. Good luck on this NEW beginning!

[HarleyGirl 1]

Molly,

My sincere condolences on the lost of your Mommy. I, too, lost my Mom to that horrible disease. It was the beginning of a terrible pattern of depression and bad eating for me, too.....

I am going to be banded on Tuesday.....and THIS IS THE YEAR that things will change......for both of us....for all of us!

[S@ssen@ch 745]

Molly, The first step was probably the hardest.....admitting that you have fallen off track and seeking support. This is the best place, a place of peers. You sure have had one heck of a year and I don't think anyone would fault you for this setback considering your loss. Grief can be one heck of a deterrent.

IMHO, you've done the best thing you can do........picked yourself up, dusted yourself off and sought the right path once again. NEVER consider yourself a failure. That in and of itself will make the road harder to travel. You made mistakes (haven't we all?) and you're going to choose the right road from now on.

You have a great tool, one that will be with you whenever you're ready for it. It sounds like you're at a place where you can focus again and from what you indicated about your pouch......the band is at attention too.....waiting for your direction.

I wish you all the strength and courage to move on and fight this battle.

[MerryHearted 20]

Welcome back Molly! How are things going since you posted this on the 5th?

I had a bad almost-a-whole-year too as far as eating. If you need help getting back on track, do pick up a copy of The Beck Diet Solution and work through it. (it's not a diet) I'm working through mine now and it's so helpful.

betrthnever: restriction or not, you can get a lot of calories through junk food, particularly liquids like ice cream & chocolate. In the evening a couple hours after dinner, or snacking between meals on junk foods like chips or cookies... it's pretty easy to stop losing or gain even with proper restriction if you go through a very stressful time and turn to food. The good thing is that the band is still there once we pull our heads together, and we can continue to lose. Woot!