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Waiting for sex...



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We waited about a week and a half. My husband ask the doctor when could we resume sexual activity and the dr aceves told him "whenever you want, I did not operate down there" LOL

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My DH is a bit overweight, so I was afraid of the pressure from his weight. I just got on top. Problem solved. I was able to control what I could handle.

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:wink2:I look forward to the weight loss from the band so that I can have my formerly insatiable sex drive back. Now... I'm so blase about sex. I could take it or leave it. My fiance... well, let's just say his hard drive is filling up rapidly as a result. *shrug* When I am in the mood, he doesn't care whether I am drunk, frizzy-haired, or in my "fat clothes." Lol. Takes it when he can get it. But, I can definitely handle a 2-4 week wait after op :thumbup:

:angry:

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I waited about two weeks and it was not painfull during the act, but afterwards, I felt sick to my stomach. Of course, I didn't tell my husband. But it was not painfull at all.

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About 5 days for me. I was the one who couldn't wait. Its a great way to forget the fact that we can't eat. Just don't go too wild!:biggrin:

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I think it is up to the individual and how you feel. I felt fine and we had sex 3 days afterwards. Of course, we avoided my stomach area and so we were creative with the position. It was my idea and he loved it. He took such good care of me after surgery I just thought he deserved a surprise. And he was shocked that I suggested it. But, by all means, do what YOU are comfortable with.

And to the sweet girl that has a partner that won't have sex with her until she loses weight... what the heck??? Is there a reason you put up with that? We are all beautiful no matter what size we are and he should know that. I say, get banded and skinny and refuse to have sex with him until he sees a therapist. Sorry, I don't mean to be rude but that makes me mad for you!!!!!!! :biggrin:

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If you don't mind me asking, what positions did you guys use until the port wasn't so sore?

I haven't had my surgery yet, but I'm anxiously awaiting dropping the pounds...my fiancee lost a lot of interest in sex and swears it's not because of my weight (he wanted it all the time when I was about 300, but now I'm over 400), but I'm hoping losing it will kick-start him again.

Trust me though, I'll be back in the sack as soon as I can after the band! :biggrin:

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Get rid of him there is someone out there that will love you for who you are. Sounds like you have wasted 4yrs. Don't waste another minute!

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i was banded friday and i wanted to on saturday, probably luckily, my husband didnt come with me when had the procedure. but today i made a move and he said can you do that, i asked him why not, he said, cuz you have holes in you. i thought thats what you liked about it. lol. he rolled his eyes and said now you have extra holes. but i think we are going to, carefully, try later. just cuz i wanna.

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It makes me feel sad that you are with someone so selfish and superficial.

Couldn't have said it better myself! :)

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My husband is very sexually "sensitive"....when he came back from Iraq (4 years ago) I was my thinnest (180 lbs..I am 5'8") and looking pretty good.

He was not interested!!! He just drank to deal w/his stress...so here we are a few years later and I ate to deal with the rejection (now I am 260lbs)...

Every night when he would roll over I would go crying into the kitchen and EAT..

Our sex life was better for a few years, but now that I am up to 260, his interest has once again declined...he also swears it has nothing to do w/my weight and that he is attracted to me...but I do wonder. Whatever the issue, it hurts my feelings tremendously...

I definetly feel that this is the biggest issue I need to overcome my battle w/food...I need to not take his sexual issues personally and know it's not me.

He doesn't drink anymore, but his drive is definitely less than your avg. 33yo man. I am really venting here....I guess I am a little bitter...he was my first and I waited until I was 24, I was number 12 or so on his list...

Okay enough.... Thanks for letting me vent!!!

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I haven't been banded yet but wanted to drop my congrats to you - my bf of 4 yrs wouldn't and hasn't touched me since as I hit 190, a 30 pound gain from when I met him (5'6, current 270), so I am happy for you that you have someone undetered by your struggle.

You need a new boyfriend!. Please don't do this for him do it for you, he doesn't deserve you. What happens when he is fat and bald? are you gonna treat him like he has a disease? I don't think so. I get so pissed when I hear about men like that. I met my wife 20 years ago, I was very thin then (175) she was a 2-3X gal back then . I fell in love with her. I know it sounds corny but love is on the inside. We have been married 19 years as of last month. I now am a plus,plus size (not for long I hope) she never looked at me any differently when I put on 150 pounds over 20 years. She is in the approval process for Gastric bypass so we can take this journey together.

Please for your sake, find someone who loves you for who you are and don't settle for what you can get.

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Thin4anisha,

have you ever heard the saying, "If he can't handle you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best"?

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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