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Help me LIE!



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I have choosen to tell only my husband, 3 daughters and 1 close friend. I hosted thanksgiving 10 days after surgery and when husbands parents asked why I wasn't eating I told them the truth, I had a Large Hernia repaired and wasn't supposed to eat much yet.... Ok so I left out the Lap Band part, But I didn't lie if it ever comes out..... His family is just SOOOOOO judgemental and I don't feel the need to explain myself to them.

Just my 2 cents....

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Another 2 cents. I agree with the post that said 8 yr old can understand privacy. So I would start there. If it still slips out and you get a call just say nothing serious and change the subject quickly and if she brings it back up say, "Oh, that's my other line. I need to take this call. Enjoy the kids!"

Good luck to you! Personally I have told people because I can't keep a secret to save my life!:blush: Shame on your sister ut she sounds like me!:smile2:

Val

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Maybe because I am a nurse, but had to answer this. Bile is produced in the liver.

I saw my PCP on Wednesday and then made appointments w/ the bariatric center. I go for my first consultation on March 5. Other appointments w/ group dietician, one on one dietician and then psych...all by April 4. I am excited and nervous at the same time. I am going to start watching my diet tomorrow.....I have been stuffing myself. Not good....and I am miserable.

Hope you are all doing well. Take care.

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I vote for the hernia repair lie. It very well could be possible when you have your surgery and they'll be messing with that part of your stomach, anyway. I had to use the hernia lie.

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I also told no one. Including the kid (but he was 19 at the time).

If I have my arms over my head grabbing something and someone sees my scars, I've said I had a hernia operation.

My parents know and DH knows and a couple of VERY close friends who are considering the procedure or who have already had it done. That's it.

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I did tell the kids not to say anything, it's my private business, etc, but being discreet is not one of her strong suits.

The kids don't know WHAT surgery I had, I don't think, so at least I'm ahead there.

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I agree that an 8 year old should know the difference between blabbing and not blabbing...I would start there...

But as for the grandma...I'd gently tell her that it embarrasses you to talk about it and you'd prefer not to.

Rain

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I have a very sweet ex grandmother also and I say just go with the hernia repair story. She won't know the difference and you won't have to do any further explaining. You won't have to tell her that it's not her business and hurt her feelings that way. As for your child just remind her that "Mommy doesn't want her talking about what Mommy had done because she doesn't want people to worry about it." That should work. :blush:) Good Luck! :thumbdown:

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I told the same story to my mother and father in law. I felt it wasn't any of their business, they don't care for me anyway. I finally told though. Now my mother in law is wanting to know everything about the surgery. You will tell the people that you want to know, and for those you don't tell right away you will tell them when you are ready.:thumbdown:

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Hi Angie,

I have not told a lot of people either. If anyone asks, I am just going to say I am on a Doctor supervised program at a weight loss clinic - end of story. If they ask about the hospital, I would just say, yeah, they had to rule-out medical conditions first.

That is my story..and I'm sticking to it.

Hey, if they are nosy enough to ask, I feel that the answer will be what I feel like telling!

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I just want to add that I have lost over 60 lbs. and I don't think ONe person has asked!!! They don't even comment! How do you like that????

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      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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