Hi, for those of you who have been in OA/FAA, and then gotten the band, have you told anyone in program about your surgery? Group level or Individual?

If so, what has the response been? Easier softer way? Taking the easy road? or have you been met with support?

I know it's techniquly an "outside issue" like going to Weight Watcher for a food plan... but I feel like I'm not being completely honest.

Please share your experience, strength and hope on the subject. Thank you.:regular_smile:

Morning,

I have been pondering the same question. I'm scheduled for surgery next month, and I haven't decided if I will talk about it at a meeting or individually with OA friends. I'm inclined not to.

The subject has come up before, and my opinion in the past (before I was considering it for myself) was that it was an outside issue, as you mentioned. I agree that it seems similar to discussing Weight Watchers or other specific diet plans.

Other people in my fellowship have come in and shared that they were going to have the surgery, and while i appreciated their honesty, i didn't feel that it had a place in the meeting.

i really don't know what i'm going to do, so i, too, appreciate any experience strength and hope anyone could provide.

i also have not been in either group. but i have told anyone and everyone who will listen to me that i got banded. why? because i am so proud of myself for being able to admit that i can not lose weight and keep it off on my own. i have accepted that fact and done something about it by seeking surgery. its not for everyone but it sure is for me. and i wouldn't criticize anyone for not choosing surgery but if they want to criticize me who cares. i know i did what was beneficial to my health and i'm exctatic about it.

Edited April 21, 200818 yr by favorite

About 5 or 6 years ago I tried several OA groups and some of those people can be downright vicious! They were the most vocal I've ever heard from anybody. They said bandsters and bypassers were weak, that they were unwilling to face their addictions, and on and on. I dropped them after a time.

My mom will have her 25th AA anniversary in May and she said that the 12 steps can be worked regardless of having wls or not - as long as the person is serious about working the steps.

It's very hard to find a group that will accept wls people though - I'm looking for one now - Clearwater, FL. Anybody know of one, let me know please.

Congrats on your weight loss and for regaining your health!

Barbara

My close OA friends have known for a long time that I was working toward getting the band. I announced it at the meeting a couple of weeks ago (my surgery is 5/5). The topic of the meeting was "asking for the help you need" so I thought it was a perfect time to bring it up. All the comments I got were very supportive. I made it clear that I would still need OA as much as ever to deal with my food issues--as they say, the band is around my stomach, not my head! If anyone was thinking bad thoughts about the surgery, they didn't say it to me.

If you can't tell the truth about your journey at a 12 Step group, where can you?

Hi

I havnt been banded yet and I am thinking exactly the same thing. I really dont know if the band is contrary to OA or not. I have many unresolved questions around this subject. Good luck while you work out wots right for you!

Julia x

Hello Everyone!

www.therecoverygroup.org is an online support for compulsive overeaters and is approved by OA. They feature an online support group for OA specific to those who had weight loss surgery. I have found this OA community very band friendly.

Tammygirl

I went to my first OA meeting today mostly in support of my roommate, but I mean hey - I'm getting banded - why not?? Strangely enough I didn't feel like I fit in... but I was totally honest about why I was there and it seemed like the rest of the group kind of glossed over the surgery. My dad has been a sober alcoholic for 20 years, so I understand how powerful the 12 steps can be. But I'm still wary about the band + OA.

I had the same concerns and wrote the OA world service office for advice on whether I would still be welcomed in OA meetings and how to share. Their reply was very accepting and loving.

"The only requirement is the desire to refrain from compulsive eating and that without a doubt there is no reason that you should not be welcome at any OA meeting. In reference to how you might share, the only thing that I can say is that even though the surgery itself is what we would refer as an outside issue, recovery needs to be 3 folded and you would still have much to share on how to keep physical recovery based on spiritual and emotional recovery. The fact that you are a member of OA who wants to recover should be all that is necessary! "

Hope this helps resolves any concerns anyone may have.

Together we can!

The only requirement for membership in OA is the DESIRE to stop eating compulsively. There is nothing in any of it that even so much as mentions surgery. So the only people's business it is really is yours and your HP's and screw what the rest of anyone else thinks!!!

Kim

After going to a different OA meeting that I liked a lot better, I think OA is a good place for me to address the mental/emotional side of how I got to be overweight. My roomie has been going and it has been helping her a lot. While I told the other group that I was planning on getting banded, I think I'll keep it to myself for awhile. It does seem like it is an outside issue, just as the other people don't talk about what exactly their food plan is, I don't necessarily need to talk about my plan specifically until I feel it's right. Now I just need to keep going to the meeting!

Kellster,

I'm so glad that you want to go to meetings it took me a while to feel like i fit in there too even though I knew I belonged there anyway just gotta take things One Day at A Time or as we online OAers say ODAT. Oh yeah 2 more things: first, Keep Coming Back (KCB) and secondly, it works if you work it and your worth it.

Kmcoolone, You are too funny. I am Kellster's roommie and I have been going to OA for aobut 2 months. I am planning on getting banded in the first part of 2009 and I haven't told them yet, I don't know if I even will. I just celebrated my first 30 days of abstinence and it felt great. What I have been thinking about alot lately though is...what happens when I have to commit my food to my sponsor each day and it all of the sudden becomes 'band-friendly' food? I feel like I'm keeping such a secret but I know that alot of people within OA don't believe in the outside assistance to help in physical recovery. Any suggestions...i just keep going one day at a time and my favorite line in OA so far is 'just for today'...I can do anything!

It's weird. I went to a few meeting, fessed up and the women were wonderful. We even did coffe after. Just depends on the group I guess.

However, food addiction is food addiction and I feel it makes no difference. I am interested in starting up again, and I probably will not tell them.

This is such an every day reality for us, I find I am surprised people do not know more about the band sometimes.

Kmcoolone, You are too funny. I am Kellster's roommie and I have been going to OA for aobut 2 months. I am planning on getting banded in the first part of 2009 and I haven't told them yet, I don't know if I even will. I just celebrated my first 30 days of abstinence and it felt great. What I have been thinking about alot lately though is...what happens when I have to commit my food to my sponsor each day and it all of the sudden becomes 'band-friendly' food? I feel like I'm keeping such a secret but I know that alot of people within OA don't believe in the outside assistance to help in physical recovery. Any suggestions...i just keep going one day at a time and my favorite line in OA so far is 'just for today'...I can do anything!

Personally, I would only share the fact that I was BANDED with my Sponsor, one on one... the whole group does not need to know as "sharing" at the group level only needs to address Whether or not you admit that Food is out of control and your life is unmanageable.

JMHO

Hi Everyone, it's been a while since I've been back here and active since I made this post a while back.

I have continued to go to OA meetings at least once a week, I have only told a few friends in OA about the suregery and I mentioned it once in a share. After the share I received warm hugs and support. I too had been feeling like I was keeping this huge secret or not being completely honest. But I've been in OA for 5 years now and I know discussing in depth is definitly an outside issue. Where I was really struggling was people in OA seeing me lose weight (120lbs in the last 1.5 years) and from my shares they know i'm not abstinent. I feel guilty about this. I had success in OA with a 90 lb weight loss over 2 years working with a sponsor and it was amazing, I truly lived the miricle of this program.

I'm really gun shy and had been using my band as an excuse for not getting a sponsor and working the steps. My first sponsor basically let me go for two reasons, 1) she did not have experience with relapse and encouraged me to find someone and 2) she was shockingly opinionated about WLS and basically told me I was going to die and it was rediculous to consider it because of the dangers and it goes against oa.

So in the back of my head i'm thinking that no one will be supportive and I was scared to look for a sponsor who would work with me and accept my band decision.

I am a raving food addict. I feel that since i've reached 160 which is only 10 lbs away from my goal, I have lost my mind. I can't stop eating. It's like everything i've worked on for the past 1.5 yrs is out the window. I'm eating way too much sugar. I'm grazing during the day. I haven't been gaining weight but my disease is getting a sick high off of getting away with getting around the band. I feel really fucked up right now. Everyone looks at me like i'm so awesome now and i've conquered my problems, i'm so thin.... they don't understand i've only conquered the fat. I still really suffer inside.

I have a sponsor now, she knows about my band but really doesn't understand. I'm still not certain she'll fully accept me. we'll see how it goes.

I'm also searching for a Therapist who is knowledgable in the 12 steps and who has worked with wls patients. I know I need the help. I'm trying to work one day at a time to find the strength and willingness to ask my HP to help lift me out of the obsession so I can stop abusing my self with food. I've come too far. I don't trust myself right now.

I know OA is the answer for me. It is the ONLY thing that ever worked for me in the past. I'm just not working it. I wish I had the spirit of a new comer, it seemed so much easier then. Now I feel like I should know better and beat myself up for not "getting it".