So, I was fat once, an then I was skinny, really skinny, and now I am chubbier than ever (but working on it, yea).

One thing I really despised when I got skinny, was that the funny smart girl all my friends loved, suddenly became eye candy and dumb slut.

The guys drooled on my boobs and hit on me, and the women friends, like 90% of them were so mean and catty!

And I swear to high heaven, I wasn't a bimbo, I didn't dress sleazy, I recall acting exactly the same as I ever have.

Even when I met my husband, his buddies were offensive to me, and woul piss him off.

Perhaps it is just the hillbilly-ville I lived in, or that I overcompensated with humor when I was chubby. Perhaps my weight now is directly related to those icky feelings and vibes.

I'm a very happy wife, and a loving mom now, grown up from all that, but it lingers. I was and am respected for my insight and humor.

But it bothers me alot, and my husband also, for me to get ogled. I swear, I not vain, far from it, I just don't know how to deal with onlookers, or catty, insecure women. And I know that alot of people mean no harm, and it's on me too.

I've always been overweight, except for that brief interlude, and to be honest with you all, i felt like a dumb, trashy, sex object.

How should I come to terms with this? Has anyone else ever had this experience, how did you deal?

Honestly, I don't think I'll mind if someone treats me a little different after surgery, because I'd like to be able to weed out the jealous, insecure types from my life.

I am blessed with amazing friends so I don't think I'll get any negative reactions out of them. You never know with folks though...it's funny to think that losing weight would cause someone to react negatively. If anything I just want to get to a point where I'm at a healthy weight, and my weight is not the first thing on my mind or the minds of those around me!

You all make excellent points. And, I rarely have felt intimidated in life, but in the back of my mind... I know I did this and have begun to lose weight because my ultimate career based goals. I am currently a teacher and have finished my principal certification and anticipate receiving my doctorate in school administration in the next 2-3 years. I ultimately did not want to go into an interview as my large self.

I have been going through hiring a principal in my building, (chairperson of the committee) I know the scrutiny that these individuals go through. (And, I know what I thought when a slightly plumper individual showed up versus the little teensy skinny lady). I initially thought "there is no way that skinny chick will ever fit in w/ our staff!" Luckily, her personality was horrid and the 'plump' lady was more suited to our staff. But, in the back of my mind, throughout this process... All I could think of was 'when I go through this, I want to be able to 'fit' the staff.' Now, what scares me more than ever is... since I'm working out and changing shape, will I become one of those folks who won't 'fit.' I'm not small right now, but I hope to be. (Yeah, not petite, just thin! I'm 5'10"). I just want to be an excellent administrator, but I also want to be able to be, for lack of a better word, judged for the job I do, not how I look. But, I honestly don't know if I would have been hired at my heaviest. Regardless of my ability and knowledge, I'm sure that my size would have been an issue. (However, random children usually find me and respond to me... EVERYWHERE! Some random kid in the shoe department at Kohl's followed me around with a description of her sneezing and how she really liked the pink shoes ... ALL the pink shoes. I eventually shook her when her mother FINALLY took notice! Come to think of it, random people usually just walk up and start talking to me...) I digress! So I guess, what this all boils down to is that I want to be known for what a good teacher/administrator I am, regardless of how I look! But, hopefully, my weight loss will give me an extra "push!"

Jachut, it is a very interesting perspective you have. I always enjoy reading your posts, as you are a great inspiration to me. It is disappointing that some here cannot appreciate that, to project some kind of bad attitude on you for your success, especially since we are all in the same boat. Thanks for "enlightening" me.

p.s. Australia was always my dream destination, until i heard they have huge spiders and poisonous jellyfish!

In general no. But I am treated differently and with a lot more respect than I was when I was heavier, which is disappointing. But to be honest, I understand it, I make assumptions about people too based on all sorts of things, weight included and I might be treated differently if I were blonde versus brunette or if I dressed differently. So I dont let that sort of thing worry me.

Where it really disappoints is here. Yet again, I have been insulted for having been so presumptuous as to lose all my weight, maintain my loss and actually venture an opinion as to how one should go about achieving that. Nuff said. Like I somehow do not have admission to the fraternity becuase I'm no longer fat therefore how could I possibly understand what its like?

Jacqui,

I find you and all the others who have lost the weight, very inspirational. Those who now discriminate against you for reaching your goal, should stop and think about it. Would they have gotten the surgery and now be on their journey if it weren't for generous people such as yourself that open up and continue to share their success? I know that before I embarked on this journey, your story along with several others gave me hope that I can take my life back and be the healthy person one day that I know I can be. Thank you for continuing to allow us into your life. I am sure that I am not the only one who feels this way.

Sorry for the long post. Just feel strongly about reverse discrimination!

Melissa