I am 31 years old, have been with my husband for 16 years(will be 17 in Sept) and we have been married for 12 years(13 in June). Ever since I started dating my husband I noticed his mom was not quite normal. He told me she had "attempted" suicide several times, she would get angry with him and kick him out of the house for something like failing to feed the pets. My husband was adopted by a very nice man who had a daughter from a previous marriage. She told me when she was living with her dad and step mom(my husband's mom) that she witnessed her get angry with her brother(my hubby) because she was helping him with his homework. She was HELPING him NOT doing it for him, his mom came in the kitchen, saw her helping him and proceeded to come back into the kitchen with a 13 inch tv and throw it at them. Their father promptly told her she would go to rehab or she could pack her things and go. My hubby was 12 at the time, his sister was 16. His mom was drinking at the time. Anyhow I am giving you a little background to get to this. Three weeks ago she called my hubby's cell phone and our oldest daughter(13) answered the phone. She first asked for me, which was odd considering she has my cell number(we only use cells, no landline), my daughter told her I wasnt home. She then asked for my hubby and my daughter told her that he was busy(he was cooking dinner), well my psycho mother in law proceeds to tell my 13 year old daughter that she is tired of this and that etc and that she is planning to kill herself and hung up on my daughter. Of course my daughter freaks out and my hubby tries to call his mother and she wont answer the phone. He isn't terribly worried about her and honestly I couldn't care less what she says she is going to do. The reason for such attitudes from us is because over the last 16 years she has "tried" to kill herself no less than 20 times(seriously). OK. Now most people who really want to kill themselves actually do it. She is what I call an attention whore. If the spot light is not on her she can not stand it and must do something to get the attention she craves. SO this last time she actually stabbed herself in the stomach in front of a police officer, was taken to the local hospital and the MENTAL HEALTH worker LET HER GO!!!! WTF!?!?!?!? So I have blocked her from emailing or sending me instant messages as well as doing the same for my children. So now she is ticked at me for this and is threatening to call her attorney(for what I am not sure) and she is threatening to send my work some info on me from 10 years ago. Does anyone else have a nutjob like this to deal with?? Oh and for those of you reading and wondering the info she is referring to is this: 10 years ago she lived with us for about 3 months and she had an account with Fingerhut and she told me I could order some stuff, so I foolishly did. THen she got mad and moved out, called the cops and told them I was ordering stuff in her name without her knowledge etc. and I had to pay for the stuff right then, which I did. I was NEVER charged with anything and I guess she thinks she is going to send that to the company I work for.

ummm, no advice, this woman is a complete nutter... stay clear of her and dont give into her demands... they'll just increase.

i think you've done the right thing protecting your children from her... good luck.

t

Thanks T~ I have tried and tried to get along with her but I told my hubby today this is it!! I HAVE HAD IT and I REFUSE to let my children go near her anymore!

I would put a restraining order against her. Who knows what she will do next.

A restraining order sounds like a good idea.

I also have a crazy MIL -- long story -- she was verbally abusive and I think possibly schizophrenic (not that she would've ever voluntarily seen a doctor for that), but did not threaten to kill herself as far as I know. We cut all ties with her, changed our phone number, when we moved gave no forwarding address, we are not listed in the phone book, etc. I did consider a restraining order at one point as she used to show up at my husband's workplace to confront him and also used to wait in the parking lot to follow us when we left our apartment. She also harassed my parents and sick grandmother with phone calls and letters. But the harassment dropped off quickly, thankfully, and we have not heard a peep from her in several years.

It sounds like you are doing the right thing and that you need a restraining order in this situation. Especially since you have children. We do not have them, but if I did I would certainly not want my MIL near them.

Yes i meant to say in an earlier post, my DH's sister is a little like this. Very easily upset over things that no one else is even aware of... for example, she stopped talking to us for 6 years because on a visit there (she refuses to go anywhere) i wanted to stay inside on the couch because i felt like shit because i had a UTI. apparently that was completely unreasnable. disregard the fact that i drove 7 hours that day just to see her for her birthday when i was in a lot of pain.

anyway, 6 years later another brother had a child and my DH worked hard to reconcile with her (and the other sister and brother - they all live at home in their 40's... they've never left home)... but after attending a counsellor at their demands and jumpingthrough several other hoops, it was obvious we could only have a relationship if we did EXACTLY what she said all the time.

nah, not going to happen. the youngest brother and DH and his wife and i no longer have contact with them and it's so much better. we just consider ourselves a smallr family now.

cant tell you how much i dont miss driving 7 hours to see "sue" only to get there and be told "she's not up to seeing you today, you'll have to go home and come back another weekend"...wtf... why didnt you tell us before we left home?????

anyway, my point is, you can get along fine without people like this. we do. no regrets.

t

Having someone as family is a good reason to try for a relationship even if things are hard. But it's not an excuse to treat people however you want, just because you think that your family can't get away from you. I would definitely consider a restraining order if it were me. Although I personally would let my husband make the ultimate decision about whether or not he'd continue seeing her, being his mother and all.

I told my husband that if he wanted to continue to see his mother/have a relationship with her that was fine, I would not try to stop him. I told him that I will not see her ever again nor will our children. I personally dont understand how after 32 years of head games and these stupid things she does to draw attention to herself he would want to continue to see her but I am not going to tell him not to.

I agree with the restraining order....if she shows up, and all is fine---you have the choice of calling the police or not, but if you ever need it, if she harrasses you at work, or tries to contact your kids at school---anything you have the order to fall back on. Plus it also shows a level of her disturbances, if she is ever to be locked up again--maybe next time they will keep her!

Don't count on it though. My DH's ex just was released after being held for 3 hours----she went after her parents and uncle with a shotgun....she was going to take down the Episcopalian Church, starting with them. She comminicates with God when she wears her special cowboy hat---and he told her to do it. When my DD (step DD technically---but mine all the same) flattened her tire to keep her from chasing down her parents--the cop threatened to take my DD to jail. That is until the EX tried to lay her hand on his head, because God was telling her to baptise him.

Crazy people everywhere!!!

Restraining order seems in order---just what we recommended for the kids!

Kat