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In those situations, I try to think WWTPS. What Would a Thin PErson Say? I've been pushing away from the table and saying "Wow! I'm so full I couldn't eat another bite!" And after a bite of something, saysing "Ohhhh, it's so rich! There's no way I could eat a whole one." My husband thinks it's funny. I also play with my food like an anorexic so I don't eat as much, moving things around on the plate.

Ultimately, I find that most people really don't care what I eat. When I think I'm being rude by not eating, most people really aren't interested. Those who are (mother), are worthy of a private talk later, the "Would you serve liquor to a drunk?" talk.

After a year and a half, I'm pretty well set in social situations. My downfall is ice cream, eaten alone.

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You know how when you eat something, it is GONE in minutes? Sometimes I PRETEND that I have already eaten it and it is gone. I think, "ooh, that was good!" (Only now I don't have the guilt and anger)

This may sound strange, but it works for me!

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I haven't been banded (first appointment is Thursday) but I do know what to tell people when they offer food. I have been a diabetic for quite a few years now and people really do forget. I say "what, are you trying to kill me?" then I laugh. No one ever brings sugar free or low carb goodies to parties! :biggrin: Sometimes I even bring my own food or I sip a sugar free beverage all day.

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Not to change the subject....I know this friend thing has been discussed b/4 but went through it on the weekend and just kind of set me back. I have been feeling pretty good about my weight lose and can tell in my clothes that there is a big change. Went from a 3X top to 1x and that is not tight on me. I have this friend that at one time (about 5 yrs ago) had a super hot body. She got type 1 diabetes a few years ago and started gaining tremendous amounts of weight. She is a person that always says she does not need friends but she makes the exception for me (I'm her one and only). I have always been sympathetic to her weight gain plight, listening to her complaints and what it has done to her emotionally. I am always right there to encourage her when she goes to weight watchers and complement her when she loses. Well, had not seen her since I started to lose weight in Nov. I have lost 46lbs. I figure if I have gone down a couple of sizes, I must look like I have lost a little. NOTHING out of her mouth and I spend 6 hours with her. I brought up my lap band surgery a couple of times but she didn't bite. Either I don't look like I've dropped a pound or she is being really insensitive and jealous. UGH!!!!!!!!.. Jealousy? or did she plain not notice?

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Friends can be like that. She is either jealous or so focused on her own weight/issues that she couldn't notice what was going on with you. Your loss is fantastic! Keep it up!! :biggrin: I can only hope that I do as well.

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Thanks for you input. I didn't add to my first post that this is a friend that is self-centered to the extreme. She has gained back the 17lbs she lost last summer so I am just thinking she cannot deal with me losing. I have been through a lot with her and always stuck by her. I was just feeling bad cuz I guess I was feeling that my weight lose just wasn't noticeable. Oh well...if she is jealous she'll have to get over it cuz she will have a thinner me to deal with over the next year. I have a few weeks left and then can send in for ins. approval to get my band. Looking forward to getting on with this process.

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Apples2, you are cracking me up this morning!! I have done the same thing so many times, when your fingers want to type something other than what your mind is thinking!!

You are having a GREAT weight loss and you don't even have your band yet! You are going to do fabulously! Keep it up (or down?) :biggrin:

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Apples sometimes people are so involved in their own misery they cannot share in the joy of others. Give her time and maybe she will join you for a banding. I have a friend that just told me she is going on a diet because no way can I weigh less than her now. So now it is a competition ugh!!! Whatever you have to do stay focused on you and hopefully your friend will snap out of it and get ambition to take care of herself and get her diabetes under control with weight loss. You are doing great!!!

Bren

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Thanks,everyone, for the input. I knew as I was typing my original post this morning that I would get support from this site. I guess with this friend I have given and given and given support through everything for her. This lap band journey is a huge thing for me and I just feel like she does not even want to acknowledge it. But, I guess that's why I was guided to this forum by my surgeon. He knew I would find the support I needed with my friends here.

Also, thanks to all of you for the compliments on my weight loss (whew...not lose). This morning I was really upset by this. This afternoon I am calm and accepting of my friend's reaction. I guess I don't know how I can expect my friends to understand what I am going through if they have never had exposure to someone going through the lap bad procedure. Thanks, guys!!!!!

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Hi Lynne,

Dr. Collier is my doctor too! I had my surgery on November 1. Where do you live? I am in the Conroe/Willis area.

Bobbi

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I have been sitting here reading this thread all evening. I am an instructor and have a night class in right now, they are busy working so I can read! (Great JOB!:)) And I love you Guys! I have learned so much and I have been so inspired by your post! I am working on the requirements to be banded and will be ready to submit to the insurance (Cigna) next week. I have seen the surgeon and he says I will be a perfect candiate for the band. My biggest problem right now not dieting :lol:! Who would have ever thought?!!! I want to get started, but the NP and the Nutritionist said not to diet until the first attempt at insurance. So, I will be compliant and keep on eating myself to death! :biggrin: --- Not really, since I made the decision to get banded, a strange thing has happened, My motivation is stronger, I am ready to get going! Thank all of you for the posts! All information is very welcome!:thumbup:

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Yeah, we are all a great bunch here in the over 50's crowd.

Life with the band is up and down sometimes, but lately it's more up that down.

Apples you're just going to have to ignore this person. You're going to be losing a lot of weight after you get the band, and it's almost like your success makes her feel like a failure.

I had a bad weekend of eating the wrong things, but now I have no more social engagements coming up where it will just be one big food party.

I always say that I wish that bad foods weren't so easy to eat. If brownies and Cookies would just get stuck, I would be at my goal. I have a hard time with willpower when that's all that everyone around me is eating.

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Yep when you LOSE something you usually want it back....and we all know you don't want this loss back! LOL

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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