Well I got engaged and now comes the crazy part of planning the wedding. Here's the thing.. both my DF (is that right?) and I have decent jobs but neither of us rake in the dough each month and we already have monthly expenses (I have car payments, etc.) so we do not have a lot of disposable income. While I am sure our families will help a bit I hate to ask. It's starting to look like one of the most expensive parts of a wedding is the reception/food.

So my question is - is having a potluck/bbq type of reception and saying "bring food not gifts" or something kinda uncouth, not classy, stupid?

We already have a place together and have kitchen, living room, etc stuff so wedding gifts (besides money to help save for downpayment on a house) are not a huge "in need".

Opinions please! Thanks :confused:

We went to a wedding 3 weeks ago, and they had the traditional tiered wedding cake, punch, nuts and handmade by the brides grandmother mints on the main table. They had 2 other tables with the chocolate fountains on them, with strawberries, cherries, cake squares, marshmallows, cheesecake bites, all kinds of things---several trays worth. Not a lot of expensive items, but they took up a lot of space, and looked like an expansive, nice, spread. They did not have other food. One of the men at the table with us was thrilled to not have another wedding with rubber chicken!!!

They had printed napkins, but nothing else---I mean they had plates of course, but they were simple color coordinated, not personalized like the napkins.

Buying now at clearance sales is definitely the way to go!!!

I did my parents 50th Anniversary this past summer---but I bought tons of gold items at last years Christmas close out! I bought charger plates for a quarter apiece! And 6" wide ribbon I used as a runner down the white table clothes. I bought gold tablecloths by Marth Stewart for 90% off at K Mart! We used them on the cake table, and the guest book table---they looked rich, and really set the white with the runners off! I bought gold plates and napkins---everything at minimally 75% off!! We used lots of candles, white and gold, both were plentiful at the clearance sales!

You have several holidays between now and then, so depending on your color scheme, you should be able to plan ahead some! Which might free up some cash if you want more of a reception.

Congrats on the upcoming nuptials and your banding date as well!!!

Kat

One thing you could do, depending on how many guests there are, is get platters from various supermarkets and fast-food restaurants. The food wouldn't be anything fancy, but you could rearrange the stuff on more suitable serving dishes. You can get all kinds of stuff, such as cheeses, veggies, fruit, sandwiches, deserts, etc. You can also get platters from restaurants like Chik-fil-a or Subway. Again, it wouldn't be anything fancy, but it would probably be cheaper than going to a caterer.

I think one of the biggest hits at our reception was Oriental Chicken Wings. They came from a local Chinese restaurant and were a fairly decent price. I would be careful with really bold flavors though, these wings were very mild. Like laurend said, just arrange them on a nice platter and it looks great.

Wow you guys are giving me some great ideas. About possibly having it mid afternoon then just doing some fruit, veggie and meat platters. Will likely be approx 100 people. I'm going to go to costco and the superstores and findout what they charge for doing up little platters. The suggestion someone made of a small wedding cake and then a big sheet cake from Costco or something is AWESOME.

Also Kat you made a good point about decorations I didn't even think about that. We haven't picked our colours yet but I have a feeling they will be like dark green and either a red or yellow - my DF is scottish descent and wants to wear a kilt with his clans colours which are green and red. So to tie into his kilt i figured probably a dark green and then maybe an accent colour like gold or yellow which are CHRISTMAS COLOURS WOO I am going to check out sales after christmas next year and see if there is anything left from this year.

My sis is taking me to a wedding show today which I'm hoping might give me some ideas.

LOL my DF saw that Taco Del Mar does catering and was VERY EXCITED about that (men *sigh*) so I looked on their website and they do like a do it yourself taco thing and a 6 layer dip so I'm going to check out the cost of that, could be an interesting thing to do along with some meat and veggies spreads lol

Don't do potluck. Skip on stuff like limos, and expensive flowers. People will continue to remember the food they ate at your wedding long after they have forgotten about the flowers and the dresses (unlike they are really, really ugly - then they will remember!) and all of that other stuff.

I went to my nephew's wedding about a year and a half ago and I don't remember much about it except the food which wasn't very good and the company which was. Go cheap on the clothing - you are only going to wear it once - and make sure the food is good. People will love you for it. A buffet is nicer than plates of rubber chicken, mashed potatoes, and steamed veg.

I did not read all the other suggestions but have one of my own. Sorry if it's a repeat. We went to a wedding this past summer and the bride and groom had little money but wanted a somewhat big wedding. I live in Chicago and weddings get nuts-o here. (a cousin spent almost $30,000 on her wedding) The reception we attended was in the fellowship hall of the church (so no alcohol was allowed, a great excuse btw) they had a local chinese place come in and prepare the food on-site. It was very good, everything was hot and there were several choices available. (1 chicken, 1 beef, 1 shrimp and a veggie) This place also provided egg rolls, pot stickers, crab rangoon and white and fried rice. It was a blast, and people are still saying how cool it was. I called to book them for my community Christmas party and it was only $6 a person, and that also included cookies and the makings of hot tea. Then all you would need is a dessert table, and wedding cake of course. ~Mandy

I also recently saw a wedding cake made of cupcakes. It was shaped like a wedding cake, several tiers tall and each tier was a different flavor, very cool.

Hey there! I have done three weddings in the last 3 years and they were ALL really nice. Two were under 2k and mine was 6k, but was more expensive because we had booze/wine, DJ, expensive cake, etc.. but, here are some things we did to save money:

1. Got a lot of stuff off ebay. I started early buying favors for SUPER cheap with sache' bags, bubbles, and the cake topper. I got major discounts. If you set a date or know your color theme, you can start buying now.

2. I got my wedding dress at David's bridal in the prom dress section! Silly I know, but the plus size wedding dresses were super expensive and I passed by this prom dress that looked like a wedding gown to me, so I bought it for under 200 bucks.

3. I made all my bouquets/bouitineres with flowers from Hobby Lobby when they had a half off sale! Made 4 bouquets with 40 bucks.

4. Had a good friend with an expensive camera take all our pictures. She took about 900 pics and did a great job. She didn't charge me a penny!

5. Found a place to have the wedding and reception at that didn't charge me to rent it as long as I bought food for the buffet. I got a little more pricey buffet at 25 a person, but they had some for 11 a person and I had like 125 folks there... and that was my big expense. I know a place like this might be hard to find, but they are out there. I got the place for an entire full day before and then the day of my wedding.

6. Instead of a DJ or band, play cd's on a CD player

7. We all know somebody that can make a nice cake

8. Go to Kroger and get several trays. I did one wedding where they had like 6 trays of shrimp cocktail, rollups and all sorts of stuff and spent 250$. That's not a bad deal.

9. If you have a church you are a member of, usually they are free if you are a member and will have a reception hall too. You can do the trays of food and have a small reception in there. My friends parents' church let her use the church and reception hall since her parents were members....

10. For my wedding I went to Sam's/Costco and bought 100 bucks worth of flowers (which filled an entire basket) and my friend made all my flower arrangements for the tables as a gift for me. They looked gorgeous!!!

11. Use items from your house to decorate. We used my mom's candlesticks to decorate the main table and vases and such just laying around my garage. Lots of borrowed items.

12. Find a place that will throw in a free grooms cake with purchse of cake. We did spend quite a bit on the main cake (550) but it was my favorite place and they threw in a free grooms cake. But, my friend got her cake for like 200 and it was even bigger than mine..

His parents donated 1200, my parents donated about 600, so we spent about 4 grand out of our own pockets. Sometimes parents will be generous. His mom paid for the liquor, flowers and some favor stuff.. my mom paid for the cakes..

** I attempted to attach some awesome pics, but for some reason it wouldn't let me, so if you'd like to see some pics of my wedding, just ping me and I can email them to you. You'd be amazed out how awesome a 14 dollar bouquet, 20 dollar main table and free grooms cake can look like. HUGGS!

this is a great thread - since my dd is also planning a May 09 wedding. We will be having the reception at a nearby church camp. They have a huge hall/cafeteria they rent for about $100. A dear friend is a chef who will do the cooking for free, I will order all the food wholesale from the club I work at, I think my biggest expense will be the decorations, I love ribbons and bows and flowers. I will hire a couple girls from work to serve and clean. I could have it at the club I work at but it only holds 80 inside and we don't want to use the deck since it'll be in May - you never know what the weather will be.

My wedding was on a Friday night - long story but it has to do with opening day of hunting season being on Saturday - we had a 7pm wedding with reception following in the church hall. Mom did up finger foods, the bakery will make colored breads for you, we had little colored sandwiches, hors d'vouers, that kind of stuff, my cousin did the cake - as a gift and she worked at the bakery - his mom made the Cookies - the church ladies did all the serving, it was very nice and very tasteful. My bridesmaids brother took the pictures for free - the biggest regret I had - they just don't look professional. BUT then we hired a hall for about $100 - bought a keg, the band were our good friends and played for free, which was another reason for a Friday wedding, they had a gig on Sat, it was not an invitation party it was a kegger and everyone from town was there. The next day we went over to see if it had gotten cleaned up, there were 2 kegs, and several empty bottles, girlfriends were there cleaning and they kinda made it another party fininshing off the keg - lol - we were young, it was fun, the moms were happy with the formal reception and we were happy with the kegger - we danced all night. That was 28 years ago and still have fun remembering.

Here are a few pics.. for some reason I can post from work, but not home.. don't know why.. Anyway, you can see the cheap dress, $14 bouquet and the main table that probalby has about 20 bucks worth of stuff on it... the candle holders were my mom's and the flower arrangement my friend made with a small portion of those flowers from Sam's. Rose petals were from ebay and so forth.. I think I mentioned this above in my other post, but it was a St. Patrick's Day wedding! LOL. Hence all the green..

Crystal - thats beautiful! Love it all!

Thanks Steph!! We had a wonderful wedding... something I'll never forget. You know what's funny though? About 3 months after me, we went to a friend of mine's wedding and she spent 16k on her wedding and it was shite.. she got a wedding planner... didn't do anything herself.. it was boring... and not half as nice as my wedding. She couldn't believe we spent so little. Granted, me and my friends busted our butts doing it ourselves, but we saved a few grand for sure and it was a way for the ones who donated their services to say "this is ya'lls wedding gift".. and that was cool.

Congratulations on your engagement! Here are a couple of money saving tips I used (3 weddings in 3 years, I'm the Mom). We got the flower girl's dress new, perfect fit, from an on-line site that sells pageant and flowergirl dresses--$29.95 plus shipping. I saw the same dress in a bridal shop for $125.00.

For one of the weddings, I got my dress off ebay, new with tags, $30.00. And on ebay they sell the veils and headpieces identical to the ones in stores. My DD paid 4125.00 (that was a discount) and they're 1/5 of that on ebay. My son's wedding was at a restaurant, no band, but full meal about 70 people, came to under $1,500.00. The booze was separate, and expensive. I agree with wine on the table, or a punch . Also, less booze is drunk at an afternoon wedding. We were going to do an outdoor at-home wedding for my son, but I didn't want to have to worry about the weather, and after renting tables, chairs, canopies, it cost the same as the restaurant meal (we had the whole place to ourselves)Hope this helped!!

Whoops! That was $125.00!!