Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Weightloss being noticed: dealing with comments from others?



Recommended Posts

Hi All !

I hope everyone is doing well on their journey,

As usual, when i don’t know who to turn to regarding my VSG journey i turn to the forum 🤣

For a little backstory i had VSG surgery in early april of this year, so it’s been 7 months so far.

I’m now down 88 pounds / 40kg

And for the first time throughout these 7 months i’ve started getting comments from people about how much weight i’ve lost.

Mainly from coworkers, or friends i haven’t seen in a while - « wow you’ve lost so much weight » or « you’ve melted away the pounds » or « you look completely different » …

The issue is i have no idea how to react ! I never know what to say i feel awkward and weird when someone says this to me … and i’m not usually the kind of person to not react it’s just so strange to me that i can’t seem to find the words.

Shouldn’t i be proud ? It’s what i wanted after all …

Does or has anyone else felt the same ? How did you navigate the comments ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am definitely dealing with the same thing at the moment!

I think I have just been so used to compliments being a rarity, or when I was bigger I remember the compliments being:

"you are pretty for a bigger girl", or "you have such a lovely face" - very easy to read between the lines there!

So for people to actually be complimenting & perceiving my body it is a strange experience. Sometimes I don't mind, but for the most part I find it unusual and I don't like being looked at, especially when I can't see any change in myself 😂

Usually I just say thank you and move on, but if someone were to actually say something outwardly offensive to me, I'd probably say something!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

yes- I went through that. I just said "thanks" - and if they asked how they did it, it depended on who was asking. Normal-sized people and people I didn't know well I just said I was working with a dietitian and exercising like crazy. Skinny people believe that crap. If it was another obese person who seemed genuinely interested, I usually told them the truth.

I was very glad when the comments finally stopped - because now almost everyone I know either never knew me when I was fat, or they've seen me since I lost all the weight. Occasionally (actually, rarely) I'll see someone I knew from years ago who only knew me as fat - but oddly, they usually don't say anything. Maybe they figure I lost the weight a long time ago - or took it off very slowly - or have some kind of medical issue - but luckily, it doesn't come up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’m glad i’m not the only one. I just found myself reacting awkwardly it’s crazy. I also think i’m someone who would never comment something like that except to a close friend or family member so i find it weirdly intrusive !

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For me I’m just starting to notice that people treat me differently. People just being nicer and going out of their way to help me in stores. Customers striking up small talk conversations with me WAY more often. It’s just weird. I have always been told that life is a fashion show growing up and I sadly finally admit that it’s true. After losing all my weight for the sleeve quickly, gaining it back and now loosing again with the revision I am seriously not imagining this. Some people are just that superficial…a lot actually. It breaks my heart for the heavier me and other obese people.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, lily06 said:

Shouldn’t i be proud ? It’s what i wanted after all …

We should be proud. Even though some ignorant people don't realize how much work goes into losing the weight after WLS. If they even know we had it.

At first, I told everyone. I didn't care who knew. But now, like Catwoman, I only share with those I feel can benefit from my experience. The comments were hard for me to take at first too. I even had someone tell me I need to learn to take a compliment.

I took that advice and simply say thank you and smile. But if anything negative or passive aggressive is said, all bets are off. LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, ShoppGirl said:

For me I’m just starting to notice that people treat me differently. People just being nicer and going out of their way to help me in stores. Customers striking up small talk conversations with me WAY more often. It’s just weird. I have always been told that life is a fashion show growing up and I sadly finally admit that it’s true. After losing all my weight for the sleeve quickly, gaining it back and now loosing again with the revision I am seriously not imagining this. Some people are just that superficial…a lot actually. It breaks my heart for the heavier me and other obese people.

SO SOOOO TRUE^^^^ It angers me how well I am treated by others now and how they respond to me. So helpful, etc. Breaks my heart too.

Another downside.... I am getting unwanted attention from men again. Approaching me on my walks or while I'm out in public. It kind of scares me. 😱

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, catwoman7 said:

yes- I went through that. I just said "thanks" - and if they asked how they did it, it depended on who was asking. Normal-sized people and people I didn't know well I just said I was working with a dietitian and exercising like crazy. Skinny people believe that crap. If it was another obese person who seemed genuinely interested, I usually told them the truth.

I learned this from Catwoman 7 and used it

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, BabySpoons said:

SO SOOOO TRUE^^^^ It angers me how well I am treated by others now and how they respond to me. So helpful, etc. Breaks my heart too.

Another downside.... I am getting unwanted attention from men again. Approaching me on my walks or while I'm out in public. It kind of scares me. 😱

Yea. I don’t like that either. Some of them are over the top with it too. They figure we should see it as a compliment but I’m like just let me be. Especially when you don’t respond like you are interested. Take the hint dude!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

19 hours ago, ShoppGirl said:

Some of them are over the top with it too. They figure we should see it as a compliment

Honestly, one of the things I didn't miss when I became morbidly obese. There is a big difference between a kind compliment and a lewd suggestive comment. Now that I've lost a lot of my chest size, it's cut down on that BS considerably. Hahahaa!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

21 hours ago, BabySpoons said:

Honestly, one of the things I didn't miss when I became morbidly obese. There is a big difference between a kind compliment and a lewd suggestive comment. Now that I've lost a lot of my chest size, it's cut down on that BS considerably. Hahahaa!

My go to now is to find someway to incorporate my husband into the conversation. Like if we’re in a parking lot, I will stop and say oh my husband was thinking about getting one of them cars. Even if it’s not true, just to mention that I have a husband. I figure if they still keep it up at that point I can just be blatantly rude because they are definitely being rude trying to flirt with a married woman.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yup but sadly that doesn’t deter most men .. i actually think these idiots see it as a challenge to get to flirt with a married woman !

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, lily06 said:

Yup but sadly that doesn’t deter most men .. i actually think these idiots see it as a challenge to get to flirt with a married woman !

Yea. It’s unfortunate but your right.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 10/14/2024 at 8:02 AM, lily06 said:

Hi All !

I hope everyone is doing well on their journey,

As usual, when i don’t know who to turn to regarding my VSG journey i turn to the forum 🤣

For a little backstory i had VSG surgery in early april of this year, so it’s been 7 months so far.

I’m now down 88 pounds / 40kg

And for the first time throughout these 7 months i’ve started getting comments from people about how much weight i’ve lost.

Mainly from coworkers, or friends i haven’t seen in a while - « wow you’ve lost so much weight » or « you’ve melted away the pounds » or « you look completely different » …

The issue is i have no idea how to react ! I never know what to say i feel awkward and weird when someone says this to me … and i’m not usually the kind of person to not react it’s just so strange to me that i can’t seem to find the words.

Shouldn’t i be proud ? It’s what i wanted after all …

Does or has anyone else felt the same ? How did you navigate the comments ?

It's been years but I just usually say thank you if it's positive. At times, I get negative comments like I look like a cancer patient so I better gain weight or I should gain a little weight because "you look older". The latter are always from family. My reply to the latter is "I'd really be healthy than have high blood pressure..." Like others, I don't give too much information if asked how I lost the weight, unless they can benefit from it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There was this older lady in my craft group, and I told them that I had surgery because I figured it was more people to make me feel accountable. This is a revision surgery for me and the last time I didn’t tell people like that and it didn’t work out so well so I’m trying a different approach. Anyways, she is about 80 years old and she said to me she just wanted to tell me how happy she is for me because since my surgery, I have really blossomed. She said that I i have a healthy glow about me and I’ve really come out of my shell in terms of confidence and it shows. I think that was probably the nicest compliment I’ve ever had in terms of my weight loss. I just appreciated that it wasn’t about superficial things. Maybe there’s hope for all these superficial people that when they get a little older, they will view things in terms of stuff that actually matters.

Edited by ShoppGirl

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×