Awful doctor experience

[stillundecided44 5]

Hello everyone! I’m new to the site! Just had my initial consultation appointment today with a weight loss surgeon. When he walked into the room, his first comment was, “Hi I’m going to make you mad first. How did you get this big at 34?” For some context, I’m 5’10, 350lbs….size 28. I’m not going to lie, I didn’t know how to answer the question besides saying, “food”. Then when it got to the questions portion of the consult, I had just begun asking my question (didn’t even get to get the whole question out) before he cut over me and began giving an answer which wasn’t even remotely related to the question I was about to ask. So I waited for him to finish, to which I started to ask again and he once again cut me off. He also kept pushing for the bypass option, and when I finally asked my question about vsg, he quickly turned that option down. Now I’m just rethinking the whole thing because it made me feel invisible, and just awful. Has anyone else had a similar experience, or maybe some words of encouragement? It took a lot for me to make this first step, and now I’m completely discouraged.

[Sleeve_Me_Alone 654]

Oh goodness, I'm so sorry you had such a terrible experience. Its so disheartening when you finally work up the courage to take that first step and get met with such an uncaring provider. Your feelings are completely valid, I'm sure I'd have felt the exact same way.

Do you have the option of seeking out a different provider? I know in some areas options can be limited, but if there is another surgeon you can see I would definitely recommend trying another one. You deserve a provider you can trust to hear you and support you, that you feel safe with. If another surgeon isn't an option, maybe stay the course for now and see what the other staff is like? From my experience, you'll deal more with the office staff, dietician, etc. than the surgeon directly. So if the rest of the staff is amazing, perhaps you can lean on them for your primary support?

[stillundecided44 5]

Thank you for responding! I do believe there are more options for the area I live, so I think I’ll look into other offices. This experience just completely wrecked my brain because I went into it so optimistic. Hopefully the other practices have better bedside manners 😕

[ShoppGirl 3,428]

I seriously couldn’t have said it better than sleevemealone. Or even as good. I’m am glad you have other options and are willing to take the next step towards finding YOUR new surgeon. This is your journey and you deserve a team you trust and respect at the very least, hopefully they will be so much more.

[KimA-GA 540]

Get a different surgeon. This one isn’t worth it

[stillundecided44 5]

Thank you!

[stillundecided44 5]

Thank you! I’m definitely going to be searching elsewhere!

[I♡BypassedMyPhatAss♡ 800]

Yeah seek out second opinions! My surgeon and her entire team is amazing. So don't let this one bad experience dictate the future of your health. There's wonderful, caring and compassionate surgeons/providers out there. So don't give up! Your health and happiness is worth it.

Best wishes!

[kcuster83 1,503]

WOW! How rude and unprofessional! I probably would have walked out and maybe voiced my opinion about how I felt about his pig headedness! (Depends on my mood that day)

Like everyone else, find a new surgeon if at all possible.

Sorry you had to deal with that.

I will say he is likely an amazing surgeon though. I have noticed through my life and thru having a few surgeries that it seems like the better doctor/surgeon has more arrogance and cockiness about them. Worst bed side manor ever but excellent at surgery itself.

My WLS surgeon was awkward. haha Very nice, and definitely nothing like you experienced. I really like him but my only complaint was that my surgery took almost 3 hours longer than expected and no one updated my spouse! She had to hunt down people to find out what was going on and why I was taking so long.

(No complications, but ended up having a way bigger hernia than the scans showed and I had damage to my esophagus that needed to be repaired from years of GERD. Everything piled up and just took longer than expected)

PS! Don't let anyone discourage you! You do you, what is right for you and what you need to do! Don't give up!

Edited October 12, 2022 by kcuster83

[Jeanniebug 473]

20 minutes ago, kcuster83 said:

I will say he is likely an amazing surgeon though. I have noticed through my life and thru having a few surgeries that it seems like the better doctor/surgeon has more arrogance and cockiness about them. Worst bed side manor ever but excellent at surgery itself.

Asperger's. Those at the top of their field have terrible bedside manners and I think it's because they have Asperger's. But, that's okay, because we're not trying to be their friends.

And to the OP. I'm sorry that you had a bad experience. But remember why you're doing this.

[SpartanMaker 676]

1 hour ago, kcuster83 said:

I will say he is likely an amazing surgeon though. I have noticed through my life and thru having a few surgeries that it seems like the better doctor/surgeon has more arrogance and cockiness about them. Worst bed side manor ever but excellent at surgery itself.

Don't know if that's quite a universal truth, but there is an important point here: bedside manner be damned, I want the best. I'd much rather have an a-hole that's really good at what they do, than a super nice person that's just an average surgeon.

Hopefully the OP won't have to make that choice. There are actually decent human beings that are really good surgeons as well. I hope you can find one

[ShoppGirl 3,428]

Maybe once you get your surgery and you are recovered and all that you can send that other team an email. Not a rude one (even though he does deserve that a little) but constructive criticism. Thankfully this experience did not discourage you from surgery alltogether but for someone on the fence it could have. So if this doctor actually hears what you say and makes some changes it could help him to help more people. His bedside manner is definitely not your responsibility and you shouldn’t spend one more second thinking about this if you don’t want to but learning his actions cost him a patient may actually open his eyes. For now, focus on your surgery though. That’s the best way to ensure that this guy doesn’t get away with how he treated you.

[Sunnyway 344]

I will agree with the others your options are to a) accept the surgeon's social awkwardness/rudeness if the other clinic members are supportive, or b) find a different surgeon/clinic. In your shoes I would probably look for another surgeon/clinic.

I do want to point out that the RNY bypass surgery is generally accepted to be more effective than VSG. RNY results in greater weight loss, resolves heartburn/GERD, and resolves, improves, or prevents Diabetes 2. Some say VSG is a "more invasive" surgery, but frankly, removing 80% of your stomach is pretty damn invasive. With RNY bypass the stomach is separated but not removed. Both are performed laparoscopically. The VSG is easier and quicker for the surgeon. However, a lot of VSG patients have to have revision to RNY later.

[stillundecided44 5]

On 10/12/2022 at 7:33 AM, kcuster83 said:

WOW! How rude and unprofessional! I probably would have walked out and maybe voiced my opinion about how I felt about his pig headedness! (Depends on my mood that day)

Like everyone else, find a new surgeon if at all possible.

Sorry you had to deal with that.

I will say he is likely an amazing surgeon though. I have noticed through my life and thru having a few surgeries that it seems like the better doctor/surgeon has more arrogance and cockiness about them. Worst bed side manor ever but excellent at surgery itself.

My WLS surgeon was awkward. haha Very nice, and definitely nothing like you experienced. I really like him but my only complaint was that my surgery took almost 3 hours longer than expected and no one updated my spouse! She had to hunt down people to find out what was going on and why I was taking so long.

(No complications, but ended up having a way bigger hernia than the scans showed and I had damage to my esophagus that needed to be repaired from years of GERD. Everything piled up and just took longer than expected)

PS! Don't let anyone discourage you! You do you, what is right for you and what you need to do! Don't give up!

Thank you for your response! I have already started looking into other surgeons. I also did some searching for reviews on this specific surgeon, and just like you mentioned he does excellent work, but his bedside is lacking. If I cannot get into see another office soon, I may just keep with this surgeon and not really take what he says personally (at least try not to). His nurse was amazing, and she would literally make the experience so much better. I also love how supportive this community has been. It has definitely given me more confidence than I initially had! So thank you! And I thank everyone else as well! You guys are amazing!

[stillundecided44 5]

On 10/13/2022 at 3:16 PM, Sunnyway said:

I will agree with the others your options are to a) accept the surgeon's social awkwardness/rudeness if the other clinic members are supportive, or b) find a different surgeon/clinic. In your shoes I would probably look for another surgeon/clinic.

I do want to point out that the RNY bypass surgery is generally accepted to be more effective than VSG. RNY results in greater weight loss, resolves heartburn/GERD, and resolves, improves, or prevents Diabetes 2. Some say VSG is a "more invasive" surgery, but frankly, removing 80% of your stomach is pretty damn invasive. With RNY bypass the stomach is separated but not removed. Both are performed laparoscopically. The VSG is easier and quicker for the surgeon. However, a lot of VSG patients have to have revision to RNY later.

Thank you for sharing the info! I’ve also come to this conclusion as well. I think I was more leaning towards VSG because I know a few people who have had it, but now I do think that bypass would be a better option! Thank you for your response!