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Anyone Struggle Watching Your Family Eat?



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Im pretty pleased with myself, pre op while on liquid diet I was able to cook for my family without any trouble. Post Op while recovering my hubby is doing the cooking but I know when I am feeling better Ill be back to cooking dinner for my family. So just curious if anyone struggled with cooking or watching your family be able to eat meals you really like? So far I think Im handling it pretty good but Im sure Ill come to a point where Im going to want to eat the same thing.

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It’s just my husband and I but we basically cook our own meals and he eats all the things I would love to eat. My best tip is to eat before you cook or they eat. If you aren’t starving it isn’t as hard to resist their food.

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It sucks lol. At my house its not really about the cooking but most times everyone orders out. pizza, Fried chicken, chinese ect... I see it there and i know i cant have any lol. Once i am a little more healed up i will probably just go out riding my jetski during dinner time lol. Get back to the house after sunset.

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It may be easiest to make sure you eat before they do if you set a strict schedule. I eat at six every night. Depending on what I am having and how long it takes I start cooking at different times. He doesn’t get hungry until later so I am full when he eats. That seriously helps a lot. It still looks good but I can live without it.

Edited to add that I do sit down with him while he eats and we chat, I just don’t eat what he is having. i agree with suzannethemom though that it’s important to get that family time still. However you work it.

Edited by ShoppGirl

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My husband and sons (age 24 and 26) have been doing all of the cooking. We planned their meals to NOT include the things that I really love (like mac n cheese). I help out a little and prepare my own little bowl of Soup. I made it a point to always eat dinner with the family EVERY night, even when I was just drinking a shake for dinner. It’s really important for your morale and mental health. I get a little sad that I can’t eat what they’re having, but I keep telling myself it’s temporary. Hopefully, in about two months I can eat the same meals in small quantities.

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I guess it depends on what the family likes to eat & what your old favourites were that may tempt you. I only have to cook for myself but every couple of weeks or so I spend the weekend with my mother & do the cooking.(She’s 82 & doesn’t always cook or eat well for herself anymore.) In the first year, I remember her emotionally saying she didn’t know what I ate anymore & what she had to buy. The irony was I did the shopping & we ate the same things with maybe the odd slight difference. Like she’d have potatoes but I wouldn’t. She’d have dessert but I wouldn’t. Never had to cook separate meals right from soft foods. I’ve also had impromptu meals with friends & their family & my siblings & their children without issue except I have to say no if they’re making Pasta (unless I can have the sauce separately). When you’re on soft or solid foods can you modify some family favourites - swap out cooking methods, swap some ingredients, reduce the fat content, etc. - to make healthier, more nutritious meals to benefit everyone & that complement your eating plan?

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Not really. I don't want to tell my family not to eat what they want just because I can't have it (it's not fair to them) so I have been making sure to have a savory broth while they eat. Sometimes I leave the room while dinner is being made (my husband has always cooked) and then come back in when it's time to eat so we all eat together. I put my Protein Drink in a regular cup like everyone else and then I have a sugar free popsicle for dessert. Works just fine for me. I keep in mind why I did the surgery, and I stay focused on the goal and it's really not bad at all.

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Not really for me as well.

By 1 wk post op I was back to doing the majority of cooking. Honestly, while i enjoyed the smells and looking at the food (and taking pictures of it!), I wasn’t too interested in actually eating it. Watching THEM eat it gave me a weird sort of pleasure. Weird to explain 🤷🏻‍♀️

All during weight loss phase (and a several months into maintenance) i just ate something different (or not at all) at sit-down meal times. But i did sit there with them cuz I wasn’t about to miss out on all the conversation lol

Im 3.5 years out and now I probably eat at least part of what they are eating maybe 50-60% of the time. The other times im eating my own leftovers from lunch.

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6 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

Not really for me as well.

By 1 wk post op I was back to doing the majority of cooking. Honestly, while i enjoyed the smells and looking at the food (and taking pictures of it!), I wasn’t too interested in actually eating it. Watching THEM eat it gave me a weird sort of pleasure. Weird to explain 🤷🏻‍♀️

All during weight loss phase (and a several months into maintenance) i just ate something different (or not at all) at sit-down meal times. But i did sit there with them cuz I wasn’t about to miss out on all the conversation lol

Im 3.5 years out and now I probably eat at least part of what they are eating maybe 50-60% of the time. The other times im eating my own leftovers from lunch.

This is how I want to eventually be. I find myself looking at a lot of your posts and wanting to do a good majority of it myself lol

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2 hours ago, SleeveDiva2022 said:

This is how I want to eventually be. I find myself looking at a lot of your posts and wanting to do a good majority of it myself lol

“A majority” only??? What about the rest??

😂😂😂😂😂😂

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45 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

“A majority” only??? What about the rest??

😂😂😂😂😂😂

I was trying not to sound stalkerish lol

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I'm almost six months post sleeve and I have cooked everyone else's main meal since pretty much day 1. I also sat at the table at dinner time so we ate as a family. These days I just have what I've cooked for everyone else but concentrating on the Protein and some veg - still don't have room at all for carbs although I've had the occasional teaspoon of mashed potato because I love it. I don't follow recipes so I have to taste all the time - sometimes by the time I come to serve everyone else I'm already full - especially things like a ragu - I'm super fussy about getting that right so have to taste it a *lot* :D

Edited by Spinoza
5 million typos!

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It was very hard at first. Especially post op when I couldn’t cook and they got takeout.

When I felt up to cooking again, I first cooked only meals that I could eat, too. Our whole family could stand to eat healthier, and if they didn’t like it, they could make something on their own.

Turns out my husband has also lost weight and his bloodwork is better, so he credits me. Our children are growing up with healthier food choices, so it’s a win-win!

Now, I sometimes cook meals that I can’t eat, and it doesn’t bother me, but only if there are leftovers that I can eat.

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I am 5 months out after gastric bypass and I have been doing pretty good. Overall my family eats what I do unless it's a take out night but the sides are different I usually make a side like rice or potatoes or noodles that I don't eat but the rest I can. I was a big sweet eater before surgery so I thought that would be a problem if I brought any of that in the house for the rest of my family. But Christmas came and I couldn't take the candy in stakings and desert after dinner from them. So we had it and I was so worried before but when it came time I found that it wasn't so bad and as time came I got a cake or something fir desert fir them had no issues. The only problem I had was when my husband brought how cookie like a bunch of them and I made him take them to his office and put them away so I couldn't see them. Otherwise it's been fine

Sent from my SM-A716U using BariatricPal mobile app

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On 5/6/2022 at 9:55 PM, SleeveDiva2022 said:

I keep in mind why I did the surgery, and I stay focused on the goal and it's really not bad at all.

Great idea! It doesnt bother me much only if its something I really liked before surgery but usually I can distract myself to take my mind off of it pretty quickly

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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