Post op confidence

[kristieshannon 1,679]

Slightly off topic, but important to me. As a morbidly obese woman I had some pretty serious confidence gaps. For many years I was a single mom. I did have the confidence to get myself through nursing school, raise my two kids on my own, and make a good career for myself. However, outside of work my confidence and feelings about myself were pretty lacking. It was honestly hard to see all of my friends partnered, doing all the “couple” things. I spent a lot of time alone at home reading and watching tv. I self medicated with crappy food.

Eight years ago some of that changed. I met a guy who I thought would be my partner for life. He and I had many adventures together, and as I became happier I started taking better care of myself. However, I think that baseline low level of confidence in myself allowed me to ignore some red flags. I allowed him to keep me in a place of not fully embracing my health. I allowed him to treat me in ways that I should not have, and I should have left sooner. I was still held back by my years of poor self esteem and not truly seeing my value.

I’ve been working in therapy to change that. My marriage has ended. I made a big move both physically and mentally. I left my long time job and moved from Seattle to Portland. I bought my first home-which at 52 felt like an insurmountable task. I’ve been renovating my kitchen. Seems simple, but every time I make these big decisions for myself and successfully execute them my confidence grows.

A long time desire of mine has been to travel to Europe. I always held off not sure enough of myself to take this on without a partner. Well today I took the plunge. I booked myself a trip in May! In my heart I’d still like a partner to do these things with, but I’m now at a place where I don’t NEED one to accomplish things I want to do. Although it’s more complex than just dropping the weight, that is a huge part of it. Moving through the world in a “normal” sized body has been a big piece of gaining confidence to make big moves, and to not accept behavior from people that I never should have.

[GradyCat 3,697]

That's good that it's given you more self-confidence and ability to do more things independently.

[learn2cook 620]

I am sending you applause and encouragement through the wires! You found your wings and now you’re flying. (I’m a little bit jealous you bought a house, that’s still my goal.)

[LaoDaBeirut 158]

Congrats! You should be proud of yourself! I will also be in Europe in May (likely in France) so perhaps we will run into each other

[Living_My_Best_Life 8]

Wonderful! I hope you have a wonderful trip to Europe! I traveled abroad by myself quite a bit when I was in my 20s and had some amazing experiences. I wish you the best!

[Smanky 752]

Yes! Get those shoes on and run! Finding that joy within after having buried it for so long is a wonderful thing! Don't let anything or anyone stop you.

[dal101 62]

This is brilliant. It doesnt matter youre going by yourself, enjoy your own damn company and live your life! Ive been doing more outdoor activities by myself and its a great way to grow and challenge yourself! Sure having a partner would be great but that will happen when it happens.

[ShoppGirl 5,072]

Good for you. I am post op and I still lack the confidence to do things like eating out alone and could never imagine doing a trip alone at this point in my life. I keep saying I am going to eat out or go to the movies by myself just to prove to myself that I can. It’s weird because I enjoy my own company at home so it’s not that I am not content alone. I just worry about what others think of me which makes it entirely a confidence issue. I am so glad that you have achieved these non scale victories.

[STLoser 1,099]

This is so wonderful. Congratulations on finding your confidence and living your life to the fullest. Your post brought tears to my eyes!

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