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Slightly off topic, but important to me. As a morbidly obese woman I had some pretty serious confidence gaps. For many years I was a single mom. I did have the confidence to get myself through nursing school, raise my two kids on my own, and make a good career for myself. However, outside of work my confidence and feelings about myself were pretty lacking. It was honestly hard to see all of my friends partnered, doing all the “couple” things. I spent a lot of time alone at home reading and watching tv. I self medicated with crappy food.

Eight years ago some of that changed. I met a guy who I thought would be my partner for life. He and I had many adventures together, and as I became happier I started taking better care of myself. However, I think that baseline low level of confidence in myself allowed me to ignore some red flags. I allowed him to keep me in a place of not fully embracing my health. I allowed him to treat me in ways that I should not have, and I should have left sooner. I was still held back by my years of poor self esteem and not truly seeing my value.

I’ve been working in therapy to change that. My marriage has ended. I made a big move both physically and mentally. I left my long time job and moved from Seattle to Portland. I bought my first home-which at 52 felt like an insurmountable task. I’ve been renovating my kitchen. Seems simple, but every time I make these big decisions for myself and successfully execute them my confidence grows.

A long time desire of mine has been to travel to Europe. I always held off not sure enough of myself to take this on without a partner. Well today I took the plunge. I booked myself a trip in May! In my heart I’d still like a partner to do these things with, but I’m now at a place where I don’t NEED one to accomplish things I want to do. Although it’s more complex than just dropping the weight, that is a huge part of it. Moving through the world in a “normal” sized body has been a big piece of gaining confidence to make big moves, and to not accept behavior from people that I never should have.

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That's good that it's given you more self-confidence and ability to do more things independently.

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I am sending you applause and encouragement through the wires! You found your wings and now you’re flying. (I’m a little bit jealous you bought a house, that’s still my goal.)

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Congrats! You should be proud of yourself! I will also be in Europe in May (likely in France) so perhaps we will run into each other :)

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Wonderful! I hope you have a wonderful trip to Europe! I traveled abroad by myself quite a bit when I was in my 20s and had some amazing experiences. I wish you the best!

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Yes! Get those shoes on and run! Finding that joy within after having buried it for so long is a wonderful thing! Don't let anything or anyone stop you.

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This is brilliant. It doesnt matter youre going by yourself, enjoy your own damn company and live your life! Ive been doing more outdoor activities by myself and its a great way to grow and challenge yourself! Sure having a partner would be great but that will happen when it happens.

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Good for you. I am post op and I still lack the confidence to do things like eating out alone and could never imagine doing a trip alone at this point in my life. I keep saying I am going to eat out or go to the movies by myself just to prove to myself that I can. It’s weird because I enjoy my own company at home so it’s not that I am not content alone. I just worry about what others think of me which makes it entirely a confidence issue. I am so glad that you have achieved these non scale victories.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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