Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I’m sad and I don’t know what to do.



Recommended Posts

I got RNY 04/2017.
HW: 226, LW: 150, CW: 195
I did all of the right things until I had transfer addiction in 2019 and started drinking daily. It escalated and I was a full blown alcoholic. I have now been sober a year and I’m depressed. I’m almost back to my pre surgery weight, I’m working my butt off to lose the weight and it’s not coming off. I never feel well and my chest always hurts. I always have heartburn and I’m always hungry. I need help so I went to a new surgeon the other day about a potential revision and she wants me to see a nutritionist and get a endoscopy. I got my results from my upper GI testing today and there’s NOTHING wrong. I feel like everything is wrong and I’m not okay. I’m on antidepressants, I’m now sober, I’m exercising and eating properly but I’m still fat and I hate myself so much for it. I feel like the biggest failure at 30 years old and it makes me so sad.

Has anyone else been able to lose regain?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am only 8 months out so I can’t speak about regain but if you haven’t seen a nutritionist yet you could learn some things that will help you to lose weight. Is the doctor saying they won’t do a revision unless something is wrong?? I was told that they do revision because of heartburn even if you aren’t that overweight. Have you considered seeing a bariatric therapist? Maybe since you experienced addiction transfer and you are sober, you transferred back to food again and need to get to the root of the addiction before you will be able to lose the weight.

Edited by ShoppGirl

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@ShoppGirl
Hi! Thanks for your response. I have seen a nutritionist but the new dr wants me to work with hers. She (the dr.) was very positive about the whole situation and was extremely helpful. I just want to feel well. I have been watching everything that I eat and exercising 5-7x/ week since August and I’m not losing. This is why I decided to see a new dr. I need help and I know it. I have an addiction therapist and psychologist. I hate feeling defeated.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with @ShoppGirl. You may have transferred your addiction back to food. Seeking a therapist who specialises or is experienced with bariatric patients, disordered eating &/or eating addictions. Your surgeon should be able to recommend someone to work with you.

Unfortunately many anti depressant meds increase your appetite too so you they could be adding to your battle.

Congratulations on being a year sober.

All the best.

Sorry, just read your response above & I’m glad you’re seeking help from therapists all ready. Definitely see a dietician. Sometimes little things have a, big impact on losing or gaining.

Edited by Arabesque

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First, congrats on your prior weight loss and sobriety!!

Since altering your diet have you been tracking your food again? If not you may want to try that and go back to basics. Back to the way we're told to eat once we hit that "regular food" stage. Not sure what you were told but for me that means 800 cals a day, 50 grams or less of total carbs, 60-75 grams of Protein, 64 oz of Water and the carbs you do eat should be from things like fruits/veggies/whole grains. You don't know how many times I thought I was doing everything right until I actually started counting/using the food tracker app again. Since Oct 25th I've been in a stall. Thought I had my crap together and doing things right until I sent my nutritionist my food logs to ask for help and suggestions and she pointed out what I was doing wrong and where I was inconstant. So I made the corrections and things are already improving and it's only been a week.

Anyway, I too suggest the therapist but maybe also the nutritionist to help you get on track again. She or he would have the best suggestion on how to help you get going again. Best of luck!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

17 hours ago, Arabesque said:

I agree with @ShoppGirl. You may have transferred your addiction back to food. Seeking a therapist who specialises or is experienced with bariatric patients, disordered eating &/or eating addictions. Your surgeon should be able to recommend someone to work with you.

Unfortunately many anti depressant meds increase your appetite too so you they could be adding to your battle.

Congratulations on being a year sober.

All the best.

Sorry, just read your response above & I’m glad you’re seeking help from therapists all ready. Definitely see a dietician. Sometimes little things have a, big impact on losing or gaining.

THIS! one thousand percent. There are antidepressants that DON'T cause weight gain, but some doctors don't know/care enough about side effects to off those to patients struggling with their weight.

If you don't think the prescriber is thinking of this, try talking to your surgeon to see if she thinks this could be an issue. There are so many meds that you could be taking that could be adding to weight gain (but... even the cravings to eat caused by the weight gain can be minimized). Also, there are medications you can take to reduce hunger, like metformin and phentermine, along with newer drugs like Ozempic

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congratulations on your sobriety!

Like youre winning your fight with that youll win with weight, one step at a time.

I would avoid tablets if you can for weight loss.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, you are being really hard on yourself! Don't forget that a year sober is a big deal. It looks like you had to put weight loss on the back burner to focus on your sobriety, and that does not make you a failure. You are taking active steps to getting back on track, and that's great. If you don't give up, there's always hope.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do you see a psychiatrist for your antidepressant medication? Finding the right medication is a trial and error process. Since you are still depressed (sad), the one you are on may not be the best one for you, especially if it is interfering with your desired weight loss. Psychiatrists know far more about psychotropic medication than general practitioners.

Here is the food plan that I have been on pre-surgery. I'm just three days away from my scheduled revision surgery. When I can eat regular food again I intend to go back on it. It's been very successful for me. Part of the success has been my recognition of trigger foods. I have cut out all sugar, flour, rice, potatoes, and processed foods and have lost 67 lbs to date. If I indulge in these things, I have to go through withdrawal all over again. Then, if I avoid my trigger foods, I do not have cravings.

A Pound of Cure by Matthew Weiner, MD, a bariatric surgeon.

1842045618_APoundOfCure.jpg.4003dbb786c4b71a116de9904ece3950.jpg

He's written two other books, has a website and YouTube videos.

1888934339_HowWeightLossSurgeryReallyWorks.jpg.2cf7a3071297f7ea38680d207f4329f6.jpg 760928021_BariatricDietGuideCookbook.jpg.436fff2f4a2e34a5db154ad7dc3ec546.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 12/16/2021 at 8:30 PM, NYCGirl_ said:

Has anyone else been able to lose regain?

Yes! It's possible! I gained maybe 25-30 COVID pounds and just lost them all. My stomach did what it was supposed to do (sleeve) and still worked as a tool 3 years post-WLS. It still works! I just went back to the basics of tracking EVERYTHING I eat, working out, focusing on Protein and Water and THE WEIGHT CAME OFF! I'm now on Weight Watchers to keep this momentum going.

Believe in yourself. You can do it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×