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Regret and Depression



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2 hours ago, mkgigs said:

@sleeversk with your reflux being so bad why did your surgeon do the sleeve? Gastric bypass is what supposedly rids you of reflux (I’m still waiting for my surgery so I can not positively confirm that yet)

Not sure, he said it would get better as i lost weight 😞

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Hi! I was just wondering how you were feeling these days? Have you found the regret and depression have lessened?
I am 2.5 weeks out from a lapband to bypass conversion and still having quite a bit of regret. Hoping it will just go away in time

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I guess that I am being a big baby, wishing I would lose faster, but in reality I have never been able to do more than 5 lb in a month, and I've already lost nine!? So I need to behave myself haha! What I do need though is to find a good bariatric dietitian that supports my low-carb lifestyle. The dietitian at the bariatric center does not support anyone doing any diet, but I don't consider low-carb diet as I've been doing it for years, not correctly, but I have been doing it for years. Thank you so much for your reply!
Have you asked your bariatric team if only 9 lbs. the first month is normal?? But just think..The slower you lose it, the less loose skin you will have as your body will have time to adjust. I'm surprised they don't support a low carb diet. My surgery date is in December and I was put on a low carb diet for 6 months! I lost 30 lbs. After the liquid diet, etc., I am required to go on a low carb diet for the rest of my life! I'm worried about that because I hate vegetables! Good luck!

Sent from my SM-T870 using BariatricPal mobile app

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On 10/16/2021 at 6:06 AM, mtlmiracle said:

I am very worried about the mood swings and intense depression after surgery which I have experienced all my life and it's really bad when I'm restricting my portions. What type of symptoms did you have if you don't mind me asking. I often get angry or become overly sensitive to every comment or perceived slight.

Over sensitive and snappish are definitely some things I experienced post-surgery, in spite of my low dose of Prozac. It did get better, but my husband definitely took the brunt of my moodiness. The portion restriction did not bother me, because my hunger was low and I got full very quickly. I believe most of my moodiness stemmed from hormone fluctuations.

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I was super worried about this, but so far at 6 weeks out I haven't had any issues (knock on wood). I'll have to ask my parents if they think that's true, because it's usually my mom who has to deal with it (I call her all the time even though I'm 41!). I think the only thing that I've been cranky about is being hungry, but although that's been really rough, it feels pretty specific and while I complain about it, it doesn't seem to be affecting the rest of my life. I am actually pretty happy about how good food is tasting now that I'm not just eating the same three things all the time. I think food actually tastes better than before surgery because I'm taking the time to enjoy it rather than shoveling into my face without even paying attention. Plus, I'm feeling really positive about my shrinking body and increasing energy levels. I always had a lot of energy before surgery, but now I'm feeling almost "spritely"! Still have a hard time lifting things. My upper body strength was never good, but now it's just gone!!!

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On 10/19/2021 at 10:43 AM, SleeverSk said:

Not sure, he said it would get better as i lost weight 😞

I ended up with a hiatal hernia (I’m prone to hernias) a few months after my surgery that was most of my sleeve. It caused gerd so bad that I had esophagitis and hiccups. Hiccups every waking moment for several months. I was on 20mg of protonix twice a day along with 40mg of Pepcid and sometimes 10 tums a day until I had a revision to RNY. The nausea and feeling sick all the time was much better after revision and I wasn’t as anxious anymore about the heartburn. I’m 14 months out from revision now and if I wanted to chug a Water or something else I totally could. I eat what I feel like having in that moment and I feel so much more “normal” now.

Maybe see if your doctor (or a different one) will send you for imaging to see if there’s something that’s causing the heartburn that can be fixed.

Hoping things get better for you soon.

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On 10/6/2021 at 6:47 AM, SleeverSk said:

I too had been thinking about it since 2016. I think those of us who think about it for a long time arent ready to actually do it. People who make the decision and do it quickly seem to adjust better.

This is such an interesting observation. I have never regretted it since the day after the surgery. I learned about it in Jan. 2020 and had my surgery in March 2020. For me, it was the fact that my metabolic symptoms were getting worse, and I was nearly the age when my dad got diabetes, and he seems pretty miserable now. Maybe you are right. The people who think about it longer may still be less sure about their decision, even after they've made it.

Nevertheless, I do want to tell the OP and the other posters who are feeling regrets - for me, the painful/uncomfortable physical effects and some of the negative emotions (like feeling left out and feeling like a failure that you had to do this) were still very strong over the first ~9 months - but they are much better now. I don't feel pain when I swallow even Water too fast; I rarely feel faint and need to lie down after meals. Also - at first you have rapidly changing hormone levels from fat-soluble hormones being released as you lose weight, and this WILL affect your emotions. In a year or too, you will likely start to feel better physically - much better than you do now, but also better than your old body did to at a year or two out.

I'm 1.5 years out, and generally very happy with my decision, but I am still getting used to my own body and my new life. I still sometimes feel partly like an alien in a new world. That is a rough process. It takes time.

Emotionally, it's normal to mourn when you undergo a major life change. The old you IS dead. There is no going back. Change is always hard, and that causes anxiety because you don't know yet how it will turn out. And while you hope that the future you will be healthier than the old you, of course you're also having trouble envisioning how happy that future will be. Certainly some of the pleasures the old you enjoyed have been lessened. Of course you'd rather be fat and happy, than slim and miserable! I would too.

Let yourself mourn that. Sadness is a real, natural, normal feeling. Feel it.

But don't forget to put some effort into the new you also. Right now you're taking a LOT less pleasure in food. But don't let yourself just wallow in depression forever. (Unless you can't help it - then seek outside help.) Think about having some new experiences and finding new pleasures. Or, perhaps think about if maybe there's something really painful in your life that you've been using food to avoid - perhaps there is a better way to solve that problem. Then, later, when most likely some of that pleasure in food returns, you'll be in a better place.

I actually take much more pleasure in food now because I don't feel guilty and out of control around it, and the new changes in behavior have finally become habit. I can just focus on actually enjoying the flavor of food, not to mention the satisfying journey between anticipation and completion, hunger and fullness. I was always so hungry before - I never felt 'full' - I always just felt 'uncomfortable'.

Also, there will be people who actually do feel worse in the long term. If that happens to you, seek out a therapist, or a particularly good friend, whatever you need to be able to talk about it. Feel free to send me a message if you need to talk. I may not regret this particular decision, but have certainly been other changes in my life that were irreversibly negative.

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I'm sorry you're feeling some blues. I've experienced just a little. I have more anger about not being able to gulp Water or drink and eat now..

I agree with others that our hormones are trying to regulate again and it is ALWAYS worth talking to your care team or professional.

I don't know if this helps at all but I've been open to friends and coworkers why I have been out or MIA. The support and optimism from them has been really surprising! I assumed the stigma behind WLS would have more negativity. I know not all have the same experience but having encouragement from the most random coworkers has been really nice and helped me to solidify this decision and continue to share.

I'm at the end of 3rd week post op. I post once or twice a week in my Facebook to give a post op update. After all, friends and family are nosy 🙂 but it's easier than the texts asking how I am. I have not shared any photos yet. I'm wanting to see more change before I do that.

I wish you luck! I'm thankful you shared with us. We're all in this together!

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4 hours ago, JenKS84 said:

I'm sorry you're feeling some blues. I've experienced just a little. I have more anger about not being able to gulp Water or drink and eat now..

I agree with others that our hormones are trying to regulate again and it is ALWAYS worth talking to your care team or professional.

I don't know if this helps at all but I've been open to friends and coworkers why I have been out or MIA. The support and optimism from them has been really surprising! I assumed the stigma behind WLS would have more negativity. I know not all have the same experience but having encouragement from the most random coworkers has been really nice and helped me to solidify this decision and continue to share.

I'm at the end of 3rd week post op. I post once or twice a week in my Facebook to give a post op update. After all, friends and family are nosy 🙂 but it's easier than the texts asking how I am. I have not shared any photos yet. I'm wanting to see more change before I do that.

I wish you luck! I'm thankful you shared with us. We're all in this together!

Hi Jennifer, drinking Water will get easier I can almost drink a full glass in one hit now ( 3 months op) I too have found people to be very supportive even the ones that I thought and know are generally not in favour of weightloss surgery. A few odd ones ave been unkind like saying what are you upset about it you choose to do this. Yes maybe i did but i certainly didnt choose to react the way my body has. Hormones can be horrible things 😐I wish i was one of those people that sail through this smoothly. Can eat and drink what and when they like.. I certainly understand your anger at not being able to drink and eat like we use to I feel that too but as remorse if that makes sense . Thank you for sharing your feelings, we are in this together

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Hi rjan, thank you for your kind response . I have read it a couple of times now when feeling down. I really appreciate your kind words and encouragement ❤

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Hi, I am four months ish post op (21 June) some days are REALLY hard. I personally wasn't given enough 'important' information before surgery and have had to find out a lot of things the hard way. Since surgery there is a lot of food that I cannot eat 75% of the time - I'm not sure why every now and then my body doesn't have a bad reaction but its getting rather frustrating. I didn't know after surgery I 'couldn't' eat certain foods I just knew that I shouldn't if that makes sense. Since I cannot eat much I meal prep once a week and freeze 3/4 of it, otherwise I don't think I would make anything. Today has been a pretty crappy day, too nauseous for Breakfast, took over 30 minutes for one piece of toast for lunch and my meal prep was Tomato chicken with red lentil Pasta and spinach ( I can no longer eat normal pasta as that makes me sick) - I only had two mouthfuls before feeling sick and foamy. Does anyone have any food suggestions?? right now my body is not liking pasta's egg or starch. I'm afraid ill fall into my old habits of baked Beans and cheese haha. thanks for reading =]

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2 hours ago, bumblebee13 said:

Hi, I am four months ish post op (21 June) some days are REALLY hard. I personally wasn't given enough 'important' information before surgery and have had to find out a lot of things the hard way. Since surgery there is a lot of food that I cannot eat 75% of the time - I'm not sure why every now and then my body doesn't have a bad reaction but its getting rather frustrating. I didn't know after surgery I 'couldn't' eat certain foods I just knew that I shouldn't if that makes sense. Since I cannot eat much I meal prep once a week and freeze 3/4 of it, otherwise I don't think I would make anything. Today has been a pretty crappy day, too nauseous for Breakfast, took over 30 minutes for one piece of toast for lunch and my meal prep was Tomato chicken with red lentil Pasta and spinach ( I can no longer eat normal Pasta as that makes me sick) - I only had two mouthfuls before feeling sick and foamy. Does anyone have any food suggestions?? right now my body is not liking pasta's egg or starch. I'm afraid ill fall into my old habits of baked Beans and cheese haha. thanks for reading =]

It will get better, baked Beans are ok high Protein so dont feel bad about eating them cheese is a protein food too. I find toast sits in my stomach and i dont feel great for that day. So with a sleeve you are suppose to be able to eat most things and from what i hear it gets easier over time, i have discovered i can drink coke no problems YIKES !!!! I was a bit frightened to eat a lot of things but i am starting to try food that i use to eat but in reality i dont think thats a good idea ( take away queen here ) dont want to fall back into bad food choices. can you have shakes on the mornings you feel sick? It could be that you are eating to much and thats why you get the foamies. Are you on reflux meds? Could be you have a touch of reflux too.

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7 hours ago, bumblebee13 said:

Hi, I am four months ish post op (21 June) some days are REALLY hard. I personally wasn't given enough 'important' information before surgery and have had to find out a lot of things the hard way. Since surgery there is a lot of food that I cannot eat 75% of the time - I'm not sure why every now and then my body doesn't have a bad reaction but its getting rather frustrating. I didn't know after surgery I 'couldn't' eat certain foods I just knew that I shouldn't if that makes sense. Since I cannot eat much I meal prep once a week and freeze 3/4 of it, otherwise I don't think I would make anything. Today has been a pretty crappy day, too nauseous for Breakfast, took over 30 minutes for one piece of toast for lunch and my meal prep was Tomato chicken with red lentil Pasta and spinach ( I can no longer eat normal Pasta as that makes me sick) - I only had two mouthfuls before feeling sick and foamy. Does anyone have any food suggestions?? right now my body is not liking pasta's egg or starch. I'm afraid ill fall into my old habits of baked Beans and cheese haha. thanks for reading =]

Lentil pasta and bread are pretty much carbs. I have read a lot about those not being easy to eat for many people after surgery.

Also, you might be eating too quickly? Not sure, since I've never watched you eat 🤓

Meal prepping is great. When I was working at home I did that. Now that I'm on the road it's actually a lot harder to eat healthy.

I agree with @SleeverSk that you might consider having a Protein Shake (or a low sugar yogurt) in the morning if you're feeling nauseous. Also, could your Multivitamin be making you sick in the morning? I take mine at night and if it's been too long since dinner, I get really nauseous. I'm going to try taking it with dinner.

Some things that have been very easy for me to eat (I'm 8 weeks out) are ground turkey/chicken, deli meat, tuna fish with Miracle Whip (you could use mayo, same thing), trout and other fish, and refried Beans. I had a really hard time with lettuce but most other veggies have been fine.

I hope it gets better.

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On 10/19/2021 at 6:57 AM, mkgigs said:

@sleeversk with your reflux being so bad why did your surgeon do the sleeve? Gastric bypass is what supposedly rids you of reflux (I’m still waiting for my surgery so I can not positively confirm that yet)

That is exactly what I was thinking. I have severe, severe,severe acid reflux and gastro paresis and my surgeon 100% said the sleeve would only make it all worse. I am scheduled to have a bypass in 2 weekes.

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20 hours ago, SleeverSk said:

It will get better, baked Beans are ok high Protein so dont feel bad about eating them cheese is a Protein food too. I find toast sits in my stomach and i dont feel great for that day. So with a sleeve you are suppose to be able to eat most things and from what i hear it gets easier over time, i have discovered i can drink coke no problems YIKES !!!! I was a bit frightened to eat a lot of things but i am starting to try food that i use to eat but in reality i dont think thats a good idea ( take away queen here ) dont want to fall back into bad food choices. can you have shakes on the mornings you feel sick? It could be that you are eating to much and thats why you get the foamies. Are you on reflux meds? Could be you have a touch of reflux too.

I've moved to sugar free coke etc, I don't drink much but I try to stay on the sugar free as I'm pretty sure that plus alcohol was my biggest nemeses calorie wise. I've actually 'discovered' low/zero calorie teas such as raspberry and strawberry and also orange and turmeric which are now my go to drinks; not too sweet but a decent flavour. On a good day I do have a shake for Breakfast - the only way I can drink it is if I cant smell it (weird hey?) so normally in a bottle with closed lid and straw (gasp) and I try not to think about it while I'm having it or I feel ill. I have gone through so many brands and flavours so far the one I'm on is the only one I can tolerate, other days it's just a flat out no. My body likes to keep me on my toes haha. Im back on omeprazole which has gotten rid of all my reflux/heartburn =]

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