Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Regret and Depression



Recommended Posts

On 10/6/2021 at 4:47 AM, SleeverSk said:

I have reacted so badly to this surgery that i can bearly eat.

Can you explain more about this? In what way did you react badly? What's the actual problem you're dealing with?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think that these feelings can be very normal! I came out and was like wtf did I do?! It stayed that way for a few weeks. As time went on it got better. Then at about 5 months out, I started with horrible acid reflux. Like shooting out my nose, choking, throwing up in the night half asleep. Then it came back again. The regret. Got that better controlled with meds, it went away. Then started with gallbladder attacks. The regrets returned. Getting that squared away now. Though when I think about it, I would not be where I’m at without the surgery. I am SO MUCH healthier. Down 104lbs from my heaviest. I am off all my meds and insulin. I am just all around in a better place.

I think the regrets come and go, and it’s normal. Sometimes I even get jealous when someone is eating a sundae or ice cream (oh I’ve tried it and I about died so no way)…and those little fleeting thoughts creep in. But overall, Even with bits of regrets, I would do it all over again in a second.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, Jaelzion said:

Can you explain more about this? In what way did you react badly? What's the actual problem you're dealing with?

I hate it, i had second thoughts going into surgery and was treated like i was having pre op nerves. I woke up hoping for some reason the surgery hadnt been done and i spiralled from there to the point of being suicidal. I have been beating myself up over why on earth did i think this was a good idea, why didnt my gp explain how serious the surgery was and why wasnt i given other options, why did the surgeon say " the effects of the sleeve only last 18 months then its up to you" my mind heard in 18 months you will be back to eating and drinking normally, why didnt my dietian say you are not ready for this when answering her questions, why didnt she explain in full detail how eating and drinking would change forever. I spent 8 weeks on my sisters couch curled up in the foetal position bearly eating, having anxiety and panic attacks. I am getting better though i am back at work, i cry at least once a day over what i have done to myself and its hard to incredibly hard. I find no joy or pleasure in food any more its a chore to eat and drink. So i guess i am dealing with lots of problems i wish i hadnt had the surgery as i would much prefer to be fat and happy than slim and miserable 😢😢

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, SleeverSk said:

I hate it, i had second thoughts going into surgery and was treated like i was having pre op nerves. I woke up hoping for some reason the surgery hadnt been done and i spiralled from there to the point of being suicidal. I have been beating myself up over why on earth did i think this was a good idea, why didnt my gp explain how serious the surgery was and why wasnt i given other options, why did the surgeon say " the effects of the sleeve only last 18 months then its up to you" my mind heard in 18 months you will be back to eating and drinking normally, why didnt my dietian say you are not ready for this when answering her questions, why didnt she explain in full detail how eating and drinking would change forever. I spent 8 weeks on my sisters couch curled up in the foetal position bearly eating, having anxiety and panic attacks. I am getting better though i am back at work, i cry at least once a day over what i have done to myself and its hard to incredibly hard. I find no joy or pleasure in food any more its a chore to eat and drink. So i guess i am dealing with lots of problems i wish i hadnt had the surgery as i would much prefer to be fat and happy than slim and miserable 😢😢

I'm so sorry you're having such difficulties. It sounds like you should definitely reach out to a bariatric therapist. I'm also having a lot of difficulties because I didn't expect to be hungry all the time. I hope you can find some healing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, SleeverSk said:

I hate it, i had second thoughts going into surgery and was treated like i was having pre op nerves. I woke up hoping for some reason the surgery hadnt been done and i spiralled from there to the point of being suicidal. I have been beating myself up over why on earth did i think this was a good idea, why didnt my gp explain how serious the surgery was and why wasnt i given other options, why did the surgeon say " the effects of the sleeve only last 18 months then its up to you" my mind heard in 18 months you will be back to eating and drinking normally, why didnt my dietian say you are not ready for this when answering her questions, why didnt she explain in full detail how eating and drinking would change forever. I spent 8 weeks on my sisters couch curled up in the foetal position bearly eating, having anxiety and panic attacks. I am getting better though i am back at work, i cry at least once a day over what i have done to myself and its hard to incredibly hard. I find no joy or pleasure in food any more its a chore to eat and drink. So i guess i am dealing with lots of problems i wish i hadnt had the surgery as i would much prefer to be fat and happy than slim and miserable 😢😢

I agree with lizonaplane, some depression and anxiety is common post surgery but your sounds clinical. I would seek out a therapist, bariatric if possible, but if the waiting list is like it is near me I would see a regular therapist in the mean time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, SleeverSk said:

I hate it, i had second thoughts going into surgery and was treated like i was having pre op nerves. I woke up hoping for some reason the surgery hadnt been done and i spiralled from there to the point of being suicidal. I have been beating myself up over why on earth did i think this was a good idea, why didnt my gp explain how serious the surgery was and why wasnt i given other options, why did the surgeon say " the effects of the sleeve only last 18 months then its up to you" my mind heard in 18 months you will be back to eating and drinking normally, why didnt my dietian say you are not ready for this when answering her questions, why didnt she explain in full detail how eating and drinking would change forever. I spent 8 weeks on my sisters couch curled up in the foetal position bearly eating, having anxiety and panic attacks. I am getting better though i am back at work, i cry at least once a day over what i have done to myself and its hard to incredibly hard. I find no joy or pleasure in food any more its a chore to eat and drink. So i guess i am dealing with lots of problems i wish i hadnt had the surgery as i would much prefer to be fat and happy than slim and miserable 😢😢

I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds like your surgical team definitely failed you. The surgery does change your relationship with food forever. While your surgeon may have overstated things by saying the effects of the surgery only last 18 months, it is true that over time your sleeve will be less intrusive. The restriction eases somewhat and you get to the point where you can eat a small but regular-sized meal with no problem. I'm 2 and 1/2 years out from surgery and I don't have to take tiny bites or sips anymore.

As far as eating "normally", that's not something most bariatric patients aspire to because that's what got us obese in the first place. If you really did go back to eating exactly how you did before, you'd simply gain all the weight back. My program had so many educational requirements that it got irritating, but I can see from your story why they are necessary. I hope you find some peace, particularly as time passes and your sleeve matures. God bless!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jaelzion, I’m glad to hear that you can now take regular sips and bites. I’m preop and that is one of my worries. Knowing that it probably won’t be forever is good news. Congratulations on your success.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, ymn said:

Jaelzion, I’m glad to hear that you can now take regular sips and bites. I’m preop and that is one of my worries. Knowing that it probably won’t be forever is good news. Congratulations on your success.

Another voice adding to Jaelzion's statement. I'm 3.5 weeks out and can take normal sips and normal bites (not giant "let me hoover up this food" bites like before). I do separate bites by a few minutes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, ShoppGirl said:

I agree with lizonaplane, some depression and anxiety is common post surgery but your sounds clinical. I would seek out a therapist, bariatric if possible, but if the waiting list is like it is near me I would see a regular therapist in the mean time.

Yes i have done that it has helped a little

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, lizonaplane said:

I'm so sorry you're having such difficulties. It sounds like you should definitely reach out to a bariatric therapist. I'm also having a lot of difficulties because I didn't expect to be hungry all the time. I hope you can find some healing.

Yes i am hungry a lot of the time too but its so hard juggling eating between drinking i currently drink less than a litre a day although yesterday i managed 1.25 litres but only because i drank right up until bedtime. Which my surgeon told me no drink or food 3 hours before bed 😕

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, TaylorA said:

I am afraid I will feel the same way.

Sent from my SM-N975U using BariatricPal mobile app

How far post op are you Taylor? Its horrible to feel this isnt it?hugs to you ❤

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Too soon to tell

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • ludosummerl

      An online Ludo game is called Ludo Summer. Ludo Summer supports local multiplayer, internet multiplayer, and computer opponents. A record breaking casual game in the history of mobile gaming · Voice Chat, 6 Player Ludo, Quick Ludo mode, Tournaments, and many other exciting features!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Nonna1213

      Hi!  I am 7weeks post-op. Have lost a total 65lbs, 27 since surgery. Anyone else on my same timeline
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Giginc

      Just starting my journey...little nervous
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Joset

      My name is Jose and I am from the UK, I had a gastric bypass a month ago so I am at the beginning of my weight loss journey.
      I would like to know how many calories I should be eating a day to stay healthy, thank you for your time
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Hello Joset, why haven't you been given a diet plan? Did you have your surgery in the UK? Every surgeon has a different diet, and no two people are on the same one. Weird I know. Contact your team if you can

        Mine was two weeks clear liquids

        Two weeks on soups, milk shakes and broths all with out lumps

        two weeks on pureed foods { I couldn't stomach this step }

        two weeks on soft foods like Protein yogurt, stewed mince and veg, soft scrambled eggs. Pate on hard crackers

        Then onto any food I fancied. If you struggle on any step or with any foods go back a step for a few days. Eggs, salmon and chicken are hard for beginners.

        Sorry I missed your original post, hope you are still on here.

    • SpartanMaker

      Today is the day!  Have to be at the hospital in a couple of hours.  So ready get this done!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×