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Regret and Depression



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Not trying to sound dramatic or anything but I've been on this forum since 2016 and I've been fantasizing about having this surgery for the past decade and I always knew in my mind that the day I do it will be one of the happiest days in my life especially from watching all those YT videos of people speaking about their positive life changes after the surgery and all... now I know that that there are truly positive and beneficial changes which will come from the surgery especially when it comes to health and life expectancy apart from the visual aspect of it and I know that in a few months once I start seeing the difference and losing weight I will feel differently too BUT right now, 5 days after the surgery, from the moment I came out of the operation room and opened my eyes up until this moment I cant stop feeling but regret that I did the surgery, I'm not sure why I feel this way but it's causing me somewhat of a depression and I'm feeling sad all the time that I did it, that I had to cut a part of my inner self and go through all this pain and misery to lose weight, regrets that I couldn't do it without surgery eventhough I tried dieting hard so many times and for so long. I just really regret having this operation and I feel so unhappy about having to do it now that I've done it eventhought I've been wanting to do it for so long.

Anyome else who's had it felt the same way, and what helped you move on?

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Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. It may be real regret but keep in mind that your body just went through a significant surgery and everything, including your hormones, may be out of whack for a while, making your feelings even worse.

I’m just over 6 months post op and can honestly say that the first two weeks post op were the hardest. Once the pain stopped and I could move on to soft foods, everything changed for me snd seemed so much better.

It may be worth speaking to your surgeon, op team or a therapist to help talk through what your feeling and going through right now.

You made a really brave decision to go ahead with the surgery and you are on your way to a healthier you!! You may just need some time to heal and start to see the difference to remember why you wanted this surgery for so long and see how great this journey can be.

Take care and I recommend surrounding yourself with really supportive friends and family to help you get through this phase, that will hopefully pass soon :)

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I have read that in the immediate post-op period, regret is really common, but it gets better. Definitely talk to your surgery team and a therapist if possible. My surgery center warned us that we may feel sadness at giving up food as a coping mechanism. Maybe that is part of what is going on for you?

I am sorry you're struggling. I hope it gets better soon!!

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many of us have "buyer's remorse" the first couple of weeks after surgery, but it soon fades. I regretted it the first couple of weeks, too - but it quickly passed and I soon released it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

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I'm pre-op still and can only speak from personal experience, but I think this is very common. There is a lot of shame and stigma attached to WLS, all of which is completely unnecessary. The idea that it is a last resort and that patients have "failed" at all other attempts prior to WLS, makes it seem like it is somehow a copout. But that really is not the truth. It is a tool, just like diets and pills and fasts and everything else and there is NO shame in putting another tool in your toolbelt to help you be healthy and well. (I'm of course not comparing WLS to these other methods, just explaining that they are all "tools" and should not carry inherent shame.) All that being said, you did what you needed to do for your won health and well being. Its completely ok and completely normal to question it, especially so early on. But give yourself lots of grace and be patient. It WILL get better and you ARE worth it.

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The nurse practitioner at my clinic told me that many patients experience a form of postpartum depression. There is so much leading up to it and then you wake up from surgery and don’t feel any different and that can be troubling to some. Plus, I know my hormones went Sorta crazy for a while there after surgery. If it’s troubling reach out to your team though and possibly a therapist if necessary just to talk through your feelings.

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In addition to the rigors of feeling crappy in the immediate post-op days/weeks, post-surgical depression is pretty common:

https://www.healthline.com/health/depression-after-surgery#causes

Hope you feel better soon!

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I'm so thankful for everyone who commented, it genuinely made me feel much better knowing that it is a common thing that most of us who did the surgery went through it too. It's honestly so comforting to have a forum like this to constantly talk about my experiences with the surgery to people who are either going or have already gone through the exact same things as me.
I will be looking forward to completing my 2 weeks so start feeling better.
Thanks again everyone!

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I certainly was questioning my decision in the first couple weeks. I was miserable for much of it. But now, 5.5 months out, I am very happy with my decision. Hang on and hang in-there...

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I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time after surgery. It is a big adjustment, and the first few weeks can be very challenging. Something that many of us enjoyed or found comfort in has changed-eating! It is not pleasurable those first few weeks, this big change can feel like something is missing. When you are so restricted and only drinking liquids, purées, or soft foods it can get boring. When it is difficult to swallow, or you get nauseated after eating it can be upsetting. You might be tired or in pain from surgery on top of these issues with eating. You might wonder why you did this to yourself. I had brief moments of thoughts like this, but ultimately, I know this is what I wished for and wanted (eating mindfully/less, feeling full). Things get easier! You will be able to see results, eat more easily & more variety soon. It will make the challenging moments worth it.

Wishing you lots of luck & happier days ahead. 😊

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I am 7 months post-op, and I still have major regrets about the surgery, every day, I wish I had not made this choice despite consistent weight loss. I am happy many people in the replies have moved past this phase. I hope to one day be at that point.

I suggest seeing a therapist as soon as you can.

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8 minutes ago, A. Will said:

I am 7 months post-op, and I still have major regrets about the surgery, every day, I wish I had not made this choice despite consistent weight loss. I am happy many people in the replies have moved past this phase. I hope to one day be at that point.

I suggest seeing a therapist as soon as you can.

Why do you regret the surgery if you have had consistent weight lost? I'm sorry you're having a hard time!

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21 hours ago, A. Will said:

I am 7 months post-op, and I still have major regrets about the surgery, every day, I wish I had not made this choice despite consistent weight loss. I am happy many people in the replies have moved past this phase. I hope to one day be at that point.

I suggest seeing a therapist as soon as you can.

Is there a specific reason why you regret the surgery? Are you feeling ill or struggling with the eating plan? I'm just curious since you are losing weight.

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On 9/8/2021 at 9:04 PM, Hiccup said:

Not trying to sound dramatic or anything but I've been on this forum since 2016 and I've been fantasizing about having this surgery for the past decade and I always knew in my mind that the day I do it will be one of the happiest days in my life especially from watching all those YT videos of people speaking about their positive life changes after the surgery and all... now I know that that there are truly positive and beneficial changes which will come from the surgery especially when it comes to health and life expectancy apart from the visual aspect of it and I know that in a few months once I start seeing the difference and losing weight I will feel differently too BUT right now, 5 days after the surgery, from the moment I came out of the operation room and opened my eyes up until this moment I cant stop feeling but regret that I did the surgery, I'm not sure why I feel this way but it's causing me somewhat of a depression and I'm feeling sad all the time that I did it, that I had to cut a part of my inner self and go through all this pain and misery to lose weight, regrets that I couldn't do it without surgery eventhough I tried dieting hard so many times and for so long. I just really regret having this operation and I feel so unhappy about having to do it now that I've done it eventhought I've been wanting to do it for so long.

Anyome else who's had it felt the same way, and what helped you move on?

Hi, I feel the same and am left wondering how i am going to live my life now. I have reacted so badly to this surgery that i can bearly eat. I would gladly take back the 20kg i have lost to have my stomach back in tact. I dont know how to move past these feelings its awful. I too had been thinking about it since 2016. I think those of us who think about it for a long time arent ready to actually do it. People who make the decision and do it quickly seem to adjust better. I am now 3 months out and everyone kept saying it will get better you wont feel like this for long but i still am 😢. I want to feel better, I want to be happy but i dont know how

Edited by SleeverSk
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