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Regret and Depression

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Not trying to sound dramatic or anything but I've been on this forum since 2016 and I've been fantasizing about having this surgery for the past decade and I always knew in my mind that the day I do it will be one of the happiest days in my life especially from watching all those YT videos of people speaking about their positive life changes after the surgery and all... now I know that that there are truly positive and beneficial changes which will come from the surgery especially when it comes to health and life expectancy apart from the visual aspect of it and I know that in a few months once I start seeing the difference and losing weight I will feel differently too BUT right now, 5 days after the surgery, from the moment I came out of the operation room and opened my eyes up until this moment I cant stop feeling but regret that I did the surgery, I'm not sure why I feel this way but it's causing me somewhat of a depression and I'm feeling sad all the time that I did it, that I had to cut a part of my inner self and go through all this pain and misery to lose weight, regrets that I couldn't do it without surgery eventhough I tried dieting hard so many times and for so long. I just really regret having this operation and I feel so unhappy about having to do it now that I've done it eventhought I've been wanting to do it for so long.

Anyome else who's had it felt the same way, and what helped you move on?

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  • blackcatsandbaddecisions
    blackcatsandbaddecisions

    My advice is to think about how you want your life to be and what’s most important to you. I mean ideally I wanted to be thin but also to be able to eat candy and snacks and huge portions nonstop, but

  • I'm so thankful for everyone who commented, it genuinely made me feel much better knowing that it is a common thing that most of us who did the surgery went through it too. It's honestly so comforting

  • Butterflyeffect
    Butterflyeffect

    Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. It may be real regret but keep in mind that your body just went through a significant surgery and everything, including your hormones, may be out of whack for a

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My advice is to think about how you want your life to be and what’s most important to you. I mean ideally I wanted to be thin but also to be able to eat candy and snacks and huge portions nonstop, but that’s not reality. If given the option I wanted to be normal weight more than I wanted to gorge on food. I felt ashamed by how fixated I was on food, and how much garbage I ate. I felt almost compelled to eat, but I wasn’t happy with how I felt, and at the end of the day I didn’t want to be that way.

Life is about compromise. WLS means giving up one thing to get another, and if food is something that is your top priority and you really don’t want to change that long term, it might not be a good choice.

I still in some senses wish I could eat the way I used to over a year ago. But I know someone who is a former drug addict who feels the same. They still want the drug and probably always will, but they recognize their life is better without it. My life is better without my old eating habits.
On 9/28/2021 at 2:39 PM, A. Will said:

I am 7 months post-op, and I still have major regrets about the surgery, every day, I wish I had not made this choice despite consistent weight loss. I am happy many people in the replies have moved past this phase. I hope to one day be at that point.

I suggest seeing a therapist as soon as you can.

Could you tell me about the regrets you are having? are you generally in a low mood/low energy all the time? I suffer from bouts of depression and worry this might be a concern for me after the surgery.

I have depression. After surgery I felt energized. It was amazing. For the first time in years wanted to be a part of things again. I know my results are not normal. I have taken Prozac 20 mg for 10++ years. I was especially moody post surgery, but it has settled down. I feel great and have felt great since my surgery. My initial mood swings were challenging for Hubby and I, but I think we have come through to the other side. Hang in there! The first few months are so hard.

Edited by WishMeSmaller

10 hours ago, WishMeSmaller said:

I have depression. After surgery I felt energized. It was amazing. For the first time in years wanted to be a part of things again. I know my results are not normal. I have taken Prozac 20 mg for 10++ years. I was especially moody post surgery, but it has settled down. I feel great and have felt great since my surgery. My initial mood swings were challenging for Hubby and I, but I think we have come through to the other side. Hang in there! The first few months are so hard.

I am very worried about the mood swings and intense depression after surgery which I have experienced all my life and it's really bad when I'm restricting my portions. What type of symptoms did you have if you don't mind me asking. I often get angry or become overly sensitive to every comment or perceived slight.

This surgery changes hormone levels, and it's a bit rocky for awhile. Our bodies have over 300 hormones, when one or more are altered our moods are greatly affected. And it's used to being insulin resistant - most everyone that is obese is suffering from insulin resistance and inflammation. Now add to that our abuse of food to alter mood, cope, and to socialize and it's a perfect storm. You have to replace those previous 'behaviors' with something else that satisfies those 'needs'. I believe exploring this in therapy or group support is a constructive option everyone needs to do. It is a HUGE process to make these changes, both in your head and physically as we have arrived in this situation after years of living with our collective experiences and relationships with food and people. Be gentle with yourself.

Sometimes it also takes medication, ongoing therapy, exercise, and time. And you can't look back, push on and know that the physical health you get with this surgery is amazing. Good luck.

Edited by Sosewsue61

I think I am going through a bit of regret and depression right now too. I had sleeve surgery on September 27th, and since surgery have only lost 9 lbs. I had hoped that I would be one of those people that want to 20 or 30 pounds and a time per month. Am I being too fussy about this? Please don't mince words

5 minutes ago, HeBrokeTheChains said:

I think I am going through a bit of regret and depression right now too. I had sleeve surgery on September 27th, and since surgery have only lost 9 lbs. I had hoped that I would be one of those people that want to 20 or 30 pounds and a time per month. Am I being too fussy about this? Please don't mince words

Oh, I'm kinda anticipating that I will have a gradual weightloss instead of a big drop at the start. Whenever I do a big jump in diet to lose weight my body resists it like it has immunity lol. Then my body settles into ketosis and as long as I keep at it the weight will shift.

Do you find it easier to keep at your diet? That's what Im hoping surgery will do for me. Like guardrails on the highway it will keep me from eating too much even when I feel really hungry. When you feel like you regret it what type of thoughts are coming up for you?

I think I am going through a bit of regret and depression right now too. I had sleeve surgery on September 27th, and since surgery have only lost 9 lbs. I had hoped that I would be one of those people that want to 20 or 30 pounds and a time per month. Am I being too fussy about this? Please don't mince words

I guess that I am being a big baby, wishing I would lose faster, but in reality I have never been able to do more than 5 lb in a month, and I've already lost nine!? So I need to behave myself haha! What I do need though is to find a good bariatric dietitian that supports my low-carb lifestyle. The dietitian at the bariatric center does not support anyone doing any diet, but I don't consider low-carb diet as I've been doing it for years, not correctly, but I have been doing it for years. Thank you so much for your reply!

19 minutes ago, HeBrokeTheChains said:

I think I am going through a bit of regret and depression right now too. I had sleeve surgery on September 27th, and since surgery have only lost 9 lbs. I had hoped that I would be one of those people that want to 20 or 30 pounds and a time per month. Am I being too fussy about this? Please don't mince words

What exactly are you regretting ? For me i regret having the surgery at all, i am finding it very hard to cope with the changes to eating and drinking, my reflux now takes twice the amount of meds to control and if i dont eat ever 3 hours which half the time i dont feel like doing i feel sick. I never know what to eat as i have never been a "diet " type of person so I am struggling quite badly i wish i never had the surgery in the first place.

2 hours ago, mtlmiracle said:

Oh, I'm kinda anticipating that I will have a gradual weightloss instead of a big drop at the start. Whenever I do a big jump in diet to lose weight my body resists it like it has immunity lol. Then my body settles into ketosis and as long as I keep at it the weight will shift.

Do you find it easier to keep at your diet? That's what Im hoping surgery will do for me. Like guardrails on the highway it will keep me from eating too much even when I feel really hungry. When you feel like you regret it what type of thoughts are coming up for you?

For me I regret everything about the surgery I feel like I have destroyed an important part of my body to achive something normal dieting and addressing my emotional eating would have achived, a high percentage of surgery patients re gain weight just like with normal diets its not the "fix" we go into it thinking it is and it changes the way you eat and drink forever. Its like being on a very strict diet 24/7 with no break. I would love to be able to cheat just a little. The surgeon says that after 18 months keeping the weight off is up to you as the sleeve no longer works not sure how that happens but if thats the case why do the surgery at all. There are also so many other complications they dont really tell you about i know a young woman who has been sleeved for less than a year and currently having a 4th surgery to sort out complications she is having . Personally my reflux now takes double the strength of meds to control but if i dont eat every 3 hours i feel sick from the reflux so is my life better with a sleeve no it is not. Have i lost weight yes 20kg, but i am miserable and to me thats not worth it.

5 hours ago, mtlmiracle said:

I am very worried about the mood swings and intense depression after surgery which I have experienced all my life and it's really bad when I'm restricting my portions. What type of symptoms did you have if you don't mind me asking. I often get angry or become overly sensitive to every comment or perceived slight.

The worst i ever had pre surgery was mild situational anxiety after surgery i spiralled out of control to the point of contemplating suicide I was hospitalised for my own safety and got councilling. I suffered panic attacks and high anxiety. I spent 6 weeks on my sister couch curled up in a ball not wanting to do anything it was horrible for me and for my family and friends. I feel better now but if given the choice again i would not have the surgery.

@sleeversk with your reflux being so bad why did your surgeon do the sleeve? Gastric bypass is what supposedly rids you of reflux (I’m still waiting for my surgery so I can not positively confirm that yet)

I had the sleeve11yrs ago I lost 3 stone I had it done in Macclesfield the Dietician wasn't much help put 21/2 stone back on with being on pregabalin had my bypass 23rd August this year I had regret the day after but now I'm fine I had mine done on the NHS in Stoke I've not seen anyone yet but had phone calls to see how I'm doing I know the weight is coming off but don't know how much I've lost yet will let everyone know as soon as I do sending hugs to you all

2 hours ago, mkgigs said:

@sleeversk with your reflux being so bad why did your surgeon do the sleeve? Gastric bypass is what supposedly rids you of reflux (I’m still waiting for my surgery so I can not positively confirm that yet)

Not sure, he said it would get better as i lost weight ?

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