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New here - Here's a little of my story....

Chris10Mariah

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Chris10Mariah    32

Chris10Mariah
Posted

Hello all!

I just signed up after reading some of your stories and I wanted to become part of this community. I will try not to make my story too lengthy.

I am a 38 year old female, originally from the Midwest, although I have lived quite a few places in my life. Midwest will always be home, though. For almost ten years, I was trapped in an emotionally abusive, sometimes physically abusive marriage with a narcissist wife. I didn't really care about myself or my well-being. During this time, my father - who never had any major ailments in his life - came down with congestive heart failure, fighting for his life with an LVAD for three years... dying in the middle of a restaurant with my mom and their friends.

I am sure you can imagine at this point in my life - I didn't even care if I lived. There were many times I thought about driving my car off of the bridge on the way to work - but I thought of my mom and sister. I couldn't do it to them. My health declined, I had chronic feet issues that led to me finding out I had Hashimoto's Thyroiditis so bad that I had neuropathy in both legs/feet. My weight was in the 260s. Even after my medicine lined out my thyroid levels, I still could not lose weight - this was around December 2017 - also the time I had Achilles repair surgery.

Flash forward - May 2018. I knew I had to get out. I started working out, low carbing... I could only lose around 25lbs on my own, then nothing. No matter what I tried. July, I finally did it. I left with two duffle bags, 100 bucks in my pocket and my truck. I moved in with family - surprisingly all of them being there for me after they all pulled away because of my ex. I then applied for transfers with work because I knew I had to start completely over. I was accepted and moved to the east coast in December 2018.

Since then.. I met and married the absolute love of my life this past summer, June 2020. I was promoted to management with my company. I've paid off all debt from my previous life. I've rediscovered all of my old hobbies and likes. Now, I just had RNY on 4/13/21 to finally take control over the last part of my previous life.. to lose the weight and enjoy the life I deserve completely.

I couldn't have done it without my new wife. She is my rock and my biggest supporter. The most amazing person I've ever met. Sometimes things in life happen... we can't explain them. We have to have the courage to go with it and to see what's out there. We all deserve to live our best lives.

Down 25lbs so far and already feel so much better. Thanks to you all for being such great inspirations to me!

WishMeSmaller, lizonaplane, Luna Girl and 5 others reacted to this

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ruthpets    80

ruthpets
Posted

WOW!!! Congratulations!!! So very impressed with how you have taken control of your life in so many ways!! You are an inspiration! Glad to have you here!!

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Chris10Mariah    32

Chris10Mariah
Posted

1 minute ago, ruthpets said:

WOW!!! Congratulations!!! So very impressed with how you have taken control of your life in so many ways!! You are an inspiration! Glad to have you here!!

Thank you so much! Really, I just thought of my dad through it all... what he went through, how he fought to live and everything I've done has been so tiny compared to that. We only get one life.... we can't waste it.

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TheMoxieMama    47

TheMoxieMama
Posted

Welcome, Chris! Thanks for sharing your story. Not as much attention is given to the topic of men trapped in abusive relationships, but the problem is all too real. I'm glad you were able to rescue yourself from that situation and start over. As a woman who rescued myself and my son from domestic abuse, I know all too well the costs of starting over. But, the benefits far outweigh the struggles.

As for addressing weight and health, like you, the death of a parent was a LOUD wakeup call for me. My mother died November 11, 2019; I had my first WLS appointment on December 5, 2019. COVID-19 set back my surgery to October 6, 2020, but I lost 36 pounds "on my own" before I was set up with the amazing tool of the gastric sleeve. I was ready to change and at 6 months out I remain committed to continually changing to move forward, especially through the plateaus and "stalls".

Congrats on your great progress! Keep on keepin on!

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learn2cook    625

learn2cook
Posted

Your resilience and courage inspires me so much! Thank you for sharing your story. Love-Your Bi Sister

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    • Alisa_S

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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