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Breakup Because I Had WLS



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So...just out of curiosity, has anyone ever been broken up with due to their WLS?

I was seeing a guy for a couple of months and he broke it off because he "couldn't deal with all my dietary restrictions." WTF?

He claimed it wasn't fun hanging out with someone whose options for dining out were limited and who couldn't drink.

Has anyone else ever experienced this?

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I’m in the midst of a divorce. Although he didn’t cite my WLS as a reason, I think that combined with my recent plastic surgery led to him being incredibly insecure despite all of my reassurances.

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I have not personally experienced this, but I have heard divorce rates are high for people who have WLS. However, it sounds like you dodged a bullet! We don't need an abundance of food and alcohol to have fun!

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I'm sorry this happened to you. I think this is common not just in romantic relationships but also in friendships. When we are heavy and food is central to our life, we form relationships with a certain type of person, and these relationships center around eating a lot and maybe drinking a lot.

Also, like @kristieshannon said, sometimes partners can become insecure as people lose weight.

Hopefully you'll be able to form a relationship with someone who shares your new healthy relationship with food, and can join you in healthier activities.

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Sounds like he didn’t like being around you because it forced him to look at his own choices.

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19 minutes ago, ShoppGirl said:

Sounds like he didn’t like being around you because it forced him to look at his own choices.

Yup, this is pretty much it. Don't take this personally. In fact, consider it him doing you a favor because if he can't support your new eating (and drinking) way of life then that is not someone you want around. And if can't see all of the other wonderful things you bring to the table, that is his selfish choice. You need a strong man, not this wimp! :)

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Yeah... and honestly, if he couldn't take a few dietary restrictions then what would happen if the poo really hit the fan over something else. Life happens. If he couldn't take it when you're doing something positive to make your health better, then heaven forbid you get in a car accident or anything else. You definitely dodged a bullet, and he wasn't worth your time.

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I have been going through a rough time mentally and have lost too much weight from my sleeve and started restricting my diet so I don't stretch my stomach. Starting to get help to overcome this. My boyfriend has been a saint and helps me because I have been at my lowest. He has issues too. He is only 24, I am 29. And has already had his 2nd open heart surgery. SO he is dealing with a lot too. I am trying to recenter myself and find a happy balance, but I just can't switch to happy overnight and be like yup all fixed! He told me today it feels like he has lost me and that I don't want him around. Which is not true. Just I am someone who needs me time too especially through this emotional rollercoaster. I try to practice mindful eating because my hunger and fullness signals are VERY similar and I am trying to decipher which is which and after dinner he comes up and grabs me around the waste and like throws my stomach around. Or at night time he wants to lay ontop of me. Which was ok before for a little bit, but I now weigh 114lbs and he is 285lbs. I feel crushed and it hurts and he gets mad saying I feel like I am going to hurt you and you don't want me touching you. It isn't that at all! I am just fragile right now and trying to get better and I do not want to lose him. We live together and talk about kids and marriage and I feel like I am ruining everything I have ever dreamed of. A little backstory, I used to weigh my food the 1st year and a half outta surgery on a food scale at 4oz. I was happy and enjoyed a lot of foods. Then My providers said NO not 4oz of weight WE MEAN VOLUME! What I can fit into a measuring cup. I had an endoscopy to make sure I didn't stretch my stomach and they said I was good. But if I kept doing what I was doing it would eventually stretch. I got SCARED and restricted my self to 1/3cup volume to ensure I never would overeat. Well then I started mourning food and felt deprived. It is so hard to find food to mush into a measuring cup! Eventually I got full off my 1/3c or what I think fullness is?? And eventually couldn't even finish that. meat no longer sits well with me and neither does eggs or dairy. I had Laparoscopic Sleeve Gastrectomy August 6th 2019. My HW was 352lbs and now I am 114lbs. Now my providers say don't weigh or measure anything at all just go by how I am "Feeling" and that is hard for me! I eat 3 meals a day with a protien shake in between. I am so messed up about eating and where I will be in 3 - 10 years because medical journals say that ultimately the sleeve is a failed procedure in the long run and that terrifies me. Multiple published medical journals, sites my surgeon belongs to, say most gain their weight and stretch their stomach back 3-10 and gain anywhere to 20 - 80 - too ALL OF THEIR WEIGHT BACK. SO here I am freaking out and could possibly lose the love of my life, but everyone just expects me to turn around and be happy and not worry and say so ya gain a few pounds, go ahead you can overeat this one time..it wont hurt you! No, but those habits will!

Tat is my long rant.. I am so sorry...

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25 minutes ago, Mckennajaims said:

I have been going through a rough time mentally and have lost too much weight from my sleeve and started restricting my diet so I don't stretch my stomach. Starting to get help to overcome this. My boyfriend has been a saint and helps me because I have been at my lowest. He has issues too. He is only 24, I am 29. And has already had his 2nd open heart surgery. SO he is dealing with a lot too. I am trying to recenter myself and find a happy balance, but I just can't switch to happy overnight and be like yup all fixed! He told me today it feels like he has lost me and that I don't want him around. Which is not true. Just I am someone who needs me time too especially through this emotional rollercoaster. I try to practice mindful eating because my hunger and fullness signals are VERY similar and I am trying to decipher which is which and after dinner he comes up and grabs me around the waste and like throws my stomach around. Or at night time he wants to lay ontop of me. Which was ok before for a little bit, but I now weigh 114lbs and he is 285lbs. I feel crushed and it hurts and he gets mad saying I feel like I am going to hurt you and you don't want me touching you. It isn't that at all! I am just fragile right now and trying to get better and I do not want to lose him. We live together and talk about kids and marriage and I feel like I am ruining everything I have ever dreamed of. A little backstory, I used to weigh my food the 1st year and a half outta surgery on a food scale at 4oz. I was happy and enjoyed a lot of foods. Then My providers said NO not 4oz of weight WE MEAN VOLUME! What I can fit into a measuring cup. I had an endoscopy to make sure I didn't stretch my stomach and they said I was good. But if I kept doing what I was doing it would eventually stretch. I got SCARED and restricted my self to 1/3cup volume to ensure I never would overeat. Well then I started mourning food and felt deprived. It is so hard to find food to mush into a measuring cup! Eventually I got full off my 1/3c or what I think fullness is?? And eventually couldn't even finish that. meat no longer sits well with me and neither does eggs or dairy. I had Laparoscopic Sleeve Gastrectomy August 6th 2019. My HW was 352lbs and now I am 114lbs. Now my providers say don't weigh or measure anything at all just go by how I am "Feeling" and that is hard for me! I eat 3 meals a day with a protien shake in between. I am so messed up about eating and where I will be in 3 - 10 years because medical journals say that ultimately the sleeve is a failed procedure in the long run and that terrifies me. Multiple published medical journals, sites my surgeon belongs to, say most gain their weight and stretch their stomach back 3-10 and gain anywhere to 20 - 80 - too ALL OF THEIR WEIGHT BACK. SO here I am freaking out and could possibly lose the love of my life, but everyone just expects me to turn around and be happy and not worry and say so ya gain a few pounds, go ahead you can overeat this one time..it wont hurt you! No, but those habits will!

Tat is my long rant.. I am so sorry...

Wow... it sounds like both you and your boyfriend have been through a lot lately. Maybe you need to seek counseling - either one or both of you together. Communication is going to be pivotal for you - both in voicing your needs and HEARING what the other person is saying.

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Wow. Good riddance I say. My husband lost 70 lbs taking a weekly injectible for diabetes before I had my surgery. I know he wanted me to lose weight too. I had the sleeve in Dec 2019, and lost 104 lbs in 12 months and am maintaining that weight eating and drinking what I want but in tiny portions. I eat healthier than I used to, but I definitely still eat things on occasion that I did not eat in the first year at all, and I had no alcohol for the first 12 months. I am lucky like that, he was very supportive and even did the shake diet with me in the beginning. He's a great cook and it was my love of his good cooking and my liking to eat that got me to 304 lbs in the first place. I ate it all willingly, but he cooks healthier for me now. After 30 years I can't imagine my life with out him. That guy wasn't the right one for you, be glad he helped you see that before he broke your heart or it cost you money.

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On 10/3/2021 at 6:12 PM, mary77450 said:

Wow. Good riddance I say. My husband lost 70 lbs taking a weekly injectible for diabetes before I had my surgery. I know he wanted me to lose weight too. I had the sleeve in Dec 2019, and lost 104 lbs in 12 months and am maintaining that weight eating and drinking what I want but in tiny portions. I eat healthier than I used to, but I definitely still eat things on occasion that I did not eat in the first year at all, and I had no alcohol for the first 12 months. I am lucky like that, he was very supportive and even did the shake diet with me in the beginning. He's a great cook and it was my love of his good cooking and my liking to eat that got me to 304 lbs in the first place. I ate it all willingly, but he cooks healthier for me now. After 30 years I can't imagine my life with out him. That guy wasn't the right one for you, be glad he helped you see that before he broke your heart or it cost you money.

No, he definitely wasn't the right guy for me at all. I'm happy to hear you found a wonderful and supportive man. :) Stories like yours give me hope!

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