How are your partner's eating habits? Do your partner's eating habits inspire you to improve, or do they enable you to make bad choices?

What role do your partner's eating habits play in your process?

If you don't have a partner, use your family or roommate.

What challenges have you faced with your partner where food is concerned?

My partner is quite overweight. We see each other on weekends only tough. I sometimes think I am the one enabling his bad choices then.

Before surgery, I was the one who caused my wife to have bad eating habits. I would always bring home donuts or ice cream or junk food. I have vastly improved with bringing junk foods home since my wife and I both had surgery and are definitely working on making much better food choices. I used to eat ice cream almost daily before surgery and it has very little appeal now after surgery.

Editing to include my 11 year old daughter.

My daughter is larger for her "defined" age based size. She was in the 94th percentile for height and 75th for weight at her annual check-up last month. Since we started not buying as much junk food, she has thinned out a bit and even her grandmother noticed that she was losing a bit of weight. She is also growing taller and is almost 5ft tall already, so that could explain a bit of this as well. We are not putting her on a diet but she is eating what we eat. Since we are eating healthier and don't have that much junk food in the house, I feel that this is going to improve her life for the better as well.

Edited March 14, 20215 yr by mswillis5

my husband never had weight issues until he was in his 50s (and now he's "overweight", not obese). He could eat any damn thing he wanted and never gain a pound. But..he's getting older...and he can't really do that anymore.

his food choices never affected me in the least. I was always a super healthy eater, even when I was obese (I just ate way too much of everything). He ate crap. Well, except when I cooked for him. But otherwise he'd eat fast food, cookies, candy, donuts, ice cream. A lot of it was in the house (and...still is). Oddly, that rarely tempts me. I'm on his case a lot trying to get him to get healthier, especially now that he's getting older - but it mostly goes in one ear and out the other. Sigh.

My husband is not considered obese. Just slightly overweight. I think for someone of his height, 6 foot, his highest weight shouldn't exceed something like 196 lbs. Just a few weeks ago he weighed in at his highest weight ever at 216. So, last Monday we both started back on Keto (but with keeping the fat down) and he is now down 5.8 lbs and I'm down 9.4. I stuck to the plan with no cheating thus far and he's had some beer and wine several nights this past week and also ate some snack cakes at work. We both did Keto in the past and I lost 40lbs and he lost 30lbs. We both gained it all back over two years time because we stopped Keto and totally indulged in food and drink we shouldn't have during the entire time.

Anywho, once I started the WLS process I told him we were both going back on Keto because it wouldn't hurt me to lose some weight BEFORE surgery and it wouldn't hurt him either. He is totally game for whatever. As he says, since I'm the one who cooks for the two of us, he'll pretty much eat what I make. He's not one to complain. LOL I of course take his likes and dislikes into consideration but he's totally for whatever it is I need to do. As far as I see it's all beneficial for the BOTH of us. Even though he has a very high metabolism as compared to me.

After surgery I will just continue us on the same type of diet/way of eating. High protein, low fat, low carbs, low sugar. I'll adjust and alter if and when needed.

Edited March 14, 20215 yr by SummerTimeGirl

My partners eating habits aren't great. He mostly eats pizza, bagels, pasta, chicken fingers, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and bananas. He doesn't have much variety in his diet or eat many fruits and veggies. He's about 20-25 pounds overweight. In the last few years, I've noticed the --"Why is he with you, I don't get it." look when meeting new people. He has a physical job so that keeps his weight down. Luckily, I don't like much of what he does and that goes for sweets too. He likes sour and citrus and I like chocolate.

His habits do inspire me to improve. When you open our fridge or pantry you'd see, "His food", as listed above, and "My food", which is blueberries, clementines, salad, tomatoes, eggs, fish, frozen dinners --and my sweets. Chocolate is my downfall.

He used to enable bad choices by surprising me with candy bars and other treats a lot. I've been able to mostly break him of the habit. Now, he shows his love by doing the laundry and dishes when it's not his turn. Score!

One challenge I've faced pre-Covid is he likes to go out to eat or get takeout 1-2 times a week. It does make me feel less engaged in the experience when I don't eat the same food as him. Sometimes I get jealous too that he gets to eat what h wants. When it comes time to order, it can be hard to make the right choice especially when he can eat as much and whatever he wants.

1 hour ago, catwoman7 said:

my husband never had weight issues until he was in his 50s (and now he's "overweight", not obese). He could eat any damn thing he wanted and never gain a pound. But..he's getting older...and he can't really do that anymore.

Same here. My husband never struggled with his weight, and as a result could not grasp why it was so difficult for me to lose weight and keep it off. His attitude was always "just eat less." He didn't mean it maliciously--he just didn't get what could possibly be so hard about losing weight.

When I finally made the decision to have surgery (after we had been together for more than 20 years), he was completely supportive. He ensured that I had the foods I needed at the various stages and helped me stay on track. He also changed our food shopping habits to ensure that there wasn't any temptation for me in the house (hello, ice cream) and changed to a much healthier diet himself. That has made maintenance much easier for me.

Keeping temptation out of the house is a great point. That's something I need to work on.

My boyfriend and I are both obese. We gain weight together and lose weight together. When we are on a health kick we motivate each other and when we are on a spiral, we sabotage each other. I do however feel like it's seems up to me to take charge and keep us on track. That feels daunting and overwhelming at times. Im curious how things will be now that I've had the surgery and he hasn't. So far, he has been on the post surgery diet with me. He has lost more weight than I have.

On 3/14/2021 at 2:06 PM, Creekimp13 said:

How are your partner's eating habits? Do your partner's eating habits inspire you to improve, or do they enable you to make bad choices?

What role do your partner's eating habits play in your process?

If you don't have a partner, use your family or roommate.

What challenges have you faced with your partner where food is concerned?

Mr.'s eating habits aren't the greatest, never has been the entire time I've known him. He eats ALOT...of everything, except maybe vegetables (which he will eat if its the only thing there). And he's a big snacker too. And drinker. BUT...he is super fit, and runs/swims/rides/works out/plays sports ALOT. According to his BMI, he is overweight, but he is in no way fat...his body fat percentage is like 10-15%. There have been times over the years that he decides he needs to lose like 10 lbs, or gain some muscle, or whatever to prepare for a race, or some sport season or whatever, and he just does. So annoying!

When we met, I was "normal" sized and ate what I think was probably more than what a "regular" person would (this is based on comparing what I eat to those around me). I'm not sure if how he ate had any real effect on my own choices that lead to my obesity. I just know that after the Kid was born years later, I ate/snacked more, and moved less.

Now that I'm post-wls, he still eats the same way as he always does, and I just eat my way. The house is filled with a whole bunch of food that I don't eat, and I even cook a whole bunch of food I don't eat either. The Kid eats alot too, but she is blessed with his genes and is an athlete herself. I don't feel right forcing my way of eating on them, so I don't. If anything, I sorta influence them a bit, because they eat alot more salad because they often eat my leftovers. Oh, and they probably eat more now when we go out to eat (pre-covid) because they my leftovers there too, along with their own entrees. LOL.

So I suppose the short answer to this is: no, MY eating habits don't seem to be influenced by the eating habits of those I live with. But they may be being influenced by me.

P.S. Unrelated, but I will say that his exercise/activity habits have greatly influenced me post-wls. He always encouraged me to join him with his various activities, and I almost always said no. Now, I almost always say yes (ok, maybe not "almost always", i probably say yes 60-70% of the time....he asks me ALOT! lol)

Edited March 15, 20215 yr by ms.sss

My hubby is approx. 25-30 lbs. overweight. He has recently lost 20 lbs. just by eating a little bit more healthy. He HATES healthy food, and especially veggies. I love basically all veggies, fruits, healthy foods. Before the WLS he would bring me ice cream, and chocolate every night on his way home from work. It added to my being overweight. Not that I refused it. He eats PB & J sandwiches every night before bed. Something we both used to do. His bad habits, do effect me. I try not to watch him eat the bad stuff.

My husband is only a couple weeks niches taller and very fit. When we met I was smaller than him but that was at my smallest. Later the symptoms of my bipolar started up and between the depressive states and the bipolar and antidepressant meds I just gained and gained.

Being bigger than your spouse as a female is definitely not fun. No matter how much I lost I could never get small as him and I always felt like I looked bigger standing next to him. Also his family was all small so While he never said anything negative about my weight he did mention it in terms of my Health quite often.

I know that even if I lose 65% of my excess weight I will still be bigger than him, though so I have got to figure out a way to just love myself for who I am and not worry quite as much as what the scale says. I know he loves me regardless, I was heavier when he married me. He only cares about my health and my happiness and he knows I am not myself when I am heavier.

My husband has to “carb up” which usually doesn’t bother me cause he eats pasta with marinara and I don’t like it but the past week I am craving anything that is real food he also can eat subs and frozen egg rolls and stuff that I gain weight if I just look at it and he doesn’t gain an ounce we are polar opposites

Edited March 15, 20215 yr by ShoppGirl

My husband is overweight and at 62 there is little chance he will try to change his diet/exercise habits. I have never known him to attempt to lose weight and we have been married for almost 25 years. How does it affect me? Mixed reviews on that one. In the beginning I was able to get him to get rid of a lot of junk that I didn't want around the house because it was bad for us. Especially processed foods. With COVID... his urge to stockpile food was reignited and now we have all of that crap food back. The long term stuff like canned food (bad) and frozen meats/veggies/fruits (good). In the beginning he would never buy junk that he knew I didn't want in the house. Now a year and a half later he brings it home often. This week I am doing a pouch reset and he is willing to buy what I need (he does the bulk of food shopping) and he is trying to be good about not buying junk that I like and shouldn't eat. But that won't last long.

How does it affect me when he is buying junk? Depends on the type of junk. A lot of it I have no problem avoiding. But then there are times when I am stressed that he will go out of his way to buy foods that I like for during stressful periods. Before surgery that was pepsi. After surgery that is cake (through not the super sugary cakes). So... he enables when I let him. Notice "when I let him". There are times when my willpower is strong. There are other times when my willpower is weak. And when I have cravings, I do find I do best when I give in to them... but when I am giving into them too much I need to find alternate ways of fullfilling those cravings. For example... when I was crazing the cake I like I knew I had to give in to the sweet tooth but break the cycle... so I switched to a cranberry/raison oatmeal cookie. I knew it would meet my sweet need... but I wouldn't want it for long lol. Again... it is up to ME to figure out how to deal with it. And that is the real challenge. Figuring out how to resist the urges without losing control. So yes, when I am feeling more weak and vulnerable it affects me... but then I do my best to find my strength to carry on. And be more firm with telling him to avoid buying things that I am going to crave. I don't care if he buys things that HE craves... as long as they aren't things "I" crave. That is the compromise I have to make.

My husband is normal weight, and is very active (biking, swimming, running, etc). He generally eats healthy, although he does like his snacks. He doesn't drink soda (which was my weakness pre WLS), and isn't big on sweets and desserts, but does enjoy getting appetizers when we eat out, etc.

Pre WLS, we ate out wayyyyy too much!! WLS and Covid solved that problem, and I feel like I've had a financial winfall from all of the $$ that we've saved on not eating out all of the time.

I actually decided to have WLS when my husband was camping and hiking with some friends. I was tired of not being able to keep up with him. I called a surgeon and was actually able to get in for an appointment right away, so when I picked my husband up after his trip, I was able to announce my big news, that I was going to have WLS! I love being able to keep up with him now, and someday when travel opens up again, I look forward to taking amazing vacations where the focus will be on activity and fun, and not the food!