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What is your why?



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19 hours ago, lostmykeysinspace said:

Same as a lot of other people, I feel like I'm missing out in life. I'm only 34 but avoid most physical things because they're too hard. We live near the Black Hills, and I want to go hiking and camping but I can't keep up. I struggle just walk a mile, and I usually have bad swelling in my legs and feet when I do. Then covid hits, and I keep hearing how severe obesity is a high risk factor and I just kept thinking it would be so stupid to catch it and die in my 30s because I couldn't eat just a little bit less.

Also sex is really uncomfortable for me because of my weight. Even missionary. And goddamnit I want to have more sex with my husband without being in pain 😂

YES! I forgot to mention the sex part too...My husband and I have been together for over 1/2 of our lives and I really want to have a better sex life with him. My weight doesn't seem to bother him, but I am just embarrassed to have him see me without clothing on...we deserve better :)

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Severe hip pain that limited my ability to work and exercise, and a hypertrophied left ventricular wall (enlarged heart). I have grandkids now. I have a wife i'd like to grow old with, and we still have a lot of adventures on our list. I want to be able to hike up into the North Carolina mountains and fly fish remote streams.

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My reason is to first get healthy. I have bad sleep apnea and I’m so tired ALL the time! I also have high BP and cholesterol. The 2nd reason is vanity... I want to look the best I can. I have yo-yo dieted my whole life. And I’m at my limit. I like how I feel and look when I’m thin... but I need to stop gaining it back. I’m just ready...

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When I had Covid my family all talked to each other thinking I was going to die because I was overweight....my sister told me that recently.

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I got gastric sleeve surgery so I could be eligible for a corrective surgery I’ve needed my whole life. At first I couldn’t get it because of finances and then once I had the money, my weight became the new obstacle. The fact that I’m still alive is weird, I was expecting to be gone before I turned 26 and now I’m 32. However, the path is opened to me now and I expect to get my next surgery within the year.

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I had cancer 5 years ago. It's the kind of cancer that grows with hormones. I've done everything medically to reduce the amount of hormones in my body in order to prevent a recurrence -- except lose weight. My oncologist recommended weight loss surgery for me, and after resisting it over the last few years and yo-yo dieting with various "on my own" weight loss plans (weight watchers, medifast, nutrisystem, etc), I'm finally ready. I've spent the last 7 months preparing for this surgery. Tomorrow is the beginning of the rest of my life. :)

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Mine was I wanted to clean my house in its entirety in one day not 5! I missed playing softball and running with my kids I too developed borderline diabetic and my entire life my BP was always low - welp not the past 2 years. I lost my husband to a heart attack at 34 years old and his only vise was food. I couldn’t leave my daughter without both parents. So I fulfilled my why on 4/5/21 - I’m post op 7 days and so far it’s been great!

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My why was slowly realizing my weight was creeping towards 300 and I could no longer keep up with my children. I was borderline pre-diabetic and I knew If I didn't do something, my health would decline. I wanted to become more healthy overall.

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K, I know I already added my “why” pages ago on this thread, but thought i’d add another obvious, but not often stated “why”:

Cuz I wanted to put on a bikini and feel smokin’ HOT.

Health benefits and extended life are definitely great, but so is waking on a beach feeling all that AND a bag of chips.

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On 04/12/2021 at 09:56, ms.sss said:



K, I know I already added my “why” pages ago on this thread, but thought i’d add another obvious, but not often stated “why”:




Cuz I wanted to put on a bikini and feel smokin’ HOT.




Health benefits and extended life are definitely great, but so is waking on a beach feeling all that AND a bag of chips.


Yes! Of course health reasons are important. However, it feels amazing for the first time in my life to be called “hot” and “little” and “tiny” and wear whatever I want.

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After 6+ months of working with my personal trainer, while I did lose inches, I lost very little weight. And after going on a hike with my trainer and a few of her clients, I saw pictures of myself and couldn't believe the way I looked from behind. I felt like I looked like a wildabeast. It was then that I made the decision to take the plunge and get the surgery.

I have always been a curvy woman. But over the years, I just kept getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger. I realized it was hindering me from doing a lot of things that I wanted to do and my mid-30s was old enough for me to allow this to go on.

I also felt completely invisible to the opposite sex. Like, completely invisible. And as a teen and in my early 20s, that was never the case in my experience. I really just wanted to take my life back.

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I felt like I had no life, and the little I did have I couldn't enjoy because I felt so self conscious, couldn't physically fit in, was too heavy to do the hobbies I used to enjoy, such low confidence I had zero chance of finding a partner. This hasn't all magically changed with surgery, but everything is a little easier and I can look forward to the future now. Health was a consideration, but honestly I didn't really care about myself/my health when I was so big that everything was a struggle.

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On 4/6/2021 at 7:21 PM, Library Girl said:

I had been fat my entire life and obese for about 25 years. My moment of clarity was when my Aunt died. She was 88 and in good health up to a year before her death. All at once it hit me that even healthy people die. And I was far from being healthy. Also this was my mother’s sister and her death was very hard on my mom. I decided it would be cruel to take the chance my mom would have to bury her youngest child.

Good for you!

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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