Spanking

[candy8360 0]

Well to quote Steve Martin "Well Excuuuuuse Me!"

This was a thread about spanking was it not? Are we not aloud to give our opinions? Just because my opinion happens to be different does that mean I'm not allowed to give it? I may be the minority here but I still have the right to voice my opinion just as everyone else does.

You can quote Dr. Phil or whoever. Practical parenting is on an individual basis and cannot be grouped into 'good parents who don't spank' and 'bad parents who spank and are lazy'. That is the only two categories I am seeing here. And, its not that there's anything wrong with you expressing your opinion, it's that you consider anyone's opinion who is different than yours wrong. YOU are the one who was giving an indication that you were not tolerant of anyone else with a different opinion.

I agree that there are people who abuse the spanking privilege. But, I also agree that there are times when it is necessary and it seems like the people who agree with MY opnion are the ones that get BLASTED.

I don't want to see any child abused. But, I also see going to the extreme of NO DISCIPLINE as an abuse as well.

I was spanked as a child. I have a 22 year old son and a 20 year old daughter. My son got many spankings and to this day agrees that they were needed. My daughter had a different personality and rarely needed spanking.

I have seen abuse on both ends of this debate. Look at the poll taken, there are MORE people who agree that spanking can be used as a benefit, not totally as an abusive form of discipline.

[brandyII 9]

I really don't care how many people agree with spanking on the poll actually. It's a debatable topic, it was not place by me and I'm just expressing my opinion. No need to get so angry!

[candy8360 0]

and, its not that I'm angry either. You expressed a little anger yourself at meatballs mom. I felt like she needed some support.

If you can raise your children without spanking then that is good. But, if spanking is needed, that shouldn't automatically make the parent bad.

[brandyII 9]

and, its not that I'm angry either. You expressed a little anger yourself at meatballs mom. I felt like she needed some support.

If you can raise your children without spanking then that is good. But, if spanking is needed, that shouldn't automatically make the parent bad.

I think if you go back and look at what Meatballsmom wrote it was a bit more caustic than anything I ever said. I believe violence begets violence that's all. We can all learn from our parents' mistakes if we choose to. I believe there are better ways of disciplining children, it may be a regional thing, who knows?:cool2:

[candy8360 0]

I didn't see anything caustic with what she said. I agree with what she said. I did see you being condescending and acting like she has to be wrong, and you have to be right.

[KatW 0]

Spanking works. It stops the child from repeating an unwanted behavior. It also makes them more likely to hit others, become bullies, and use aggression as a way to get what they want from others. That is what the research published out of the APA shows. For me, I am only speaking for myself, the long term cost of the lesson I would teach to my child about dominance far outweighs the the short term gain of obedience.

A person of wisdom once told me that "spare the rod, spoil the child." refers to the use of a rod by the shepherd to guide the sheep, not beat the sheep. I choose this interpretation.

KatW

[brandyII 9]

I didn't see anything caustic with what she said. I agree with what she said. I did see you being condescending and acting like she has to be wrong, and you have to be right.

Well then you and I can agree to disagree because I did see her as coming across very angry in her attempt to explain her need for spanking her children.

I do believe that it is wrong to spank children, case closed, I've added some information as to why it is wrong in hopes that one person out there might change their mind and possibly put an end to it in their household. I can't help it if I am passionate about it, if you see this as condescending then there's not much I can do about it. It's a thread on spanking and I'm giving my opinion whether I'm in the minority or not! thanks brandy:smile:

[brandyII 9]

Spanking works. It stops the child from repeating an unwanted behavior. It also makes them more likely to hit others, become bullies, and use aggression as a way to get what they want from others. That is what the research published out of the APA shows. For me, I am only speaking for myself, the long term cost of the lesson I would teach to my child about dominance far outweighs the the short term gain of obedience.

A person of wisdom once told me that "spare the rod, spoil the child." refers to the use of a rod by the shepherd to guide the sheep, not beat the sheep. I choose this interpretation.

KatW

Thanks KatW was starting to think I was the only one out there!!!:cool2:

[candy8360 0]

In all honesty, I admire that you have passion for what you believe. My problem is not with your passion, but with your insinuation that your way is the right way, and the only way. I agree that there are advantages on both sides and abuse on both sides. I'm really not angry at you or your opinion. I'd just like some acknowledgement that spanking is not automatically abuse and not all parents who spank are abusers.

[brandyII 9]

I believe spanking is abuse so I'm not insinuating anything. There are various degrees of abuse but it's really not a necessary form of punishment or discipline. You have other options.

Did you know it's already illegal to spank children in the following countries, and forgive me if I missed any: Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Iceland, Croatia, Cyprus, Latvia, Italy, Israel, Germany, and Austria?

[*susan* 1,709]

I am against spanking as well. My parents were spanker's. All I ever learned from it was that a) I better be more careful to not get caught next time and :cursing: If you are bigger than someone you can make them do what you want by hitting them.

I have a 15 year old daughter and a 17 year old son. Neither has ever been spanked. When our children do something wrong, we speak to them intelligently and informatively. We explain why what they have done is wrong and how it could have adverse effects. When they were babies, we simply redirected them. As they got a bit older, time out worked well. As teens, we find that we never have problems with them that more than a talking to can't fix. I have only on one or two occasions taken away privileges from them.

Even my parents admit that my children have turned out wonderfully despite our refusal to use physical punishment on them. They are both in all advanced and honors programs. They have many friends and are very well thought of. I constantly receive compliments from their teachers, their friend's parents and other adults on what wonderful, caring and respectful children I have. And to imagine, I did that without ever laying a hand on them.

[candy8360 0]

you guys are so stuck on yourselves. you can't call the shots for everyone. I would give ANYTHING to see how you would handle a problem child, one that is used to manipulating the adults and one that will smile at your face and agree with you and as soon as you turn your back do everything you told them not to do. I was willing to go halfway to say that I'm not always right, and my way is not the only way. THAT, Brandy, is why I think you are full of hot air. It may be a law in other countries that you can't spank. There are also laws in other countries that allow you to smoke marijuana. Just because it is a law somewhere doesn't validate your opinion as the right way and the only way.

I knew there was a good reason I stopped posting on this thread.

[juliegeraci 7]

Does a timeout really work if your 7 year old calls you a name? I need some help learning out to displine him. All I know is spanking or the threat of spanking.

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

I feel there is CLEARLY a difference between spanking and child abuse. To think they are the same thing is ridiculus! I can say I have only spanked my daughters who are 9 & 7 less times than their ages, but the times I have had have not been child abuse. It was a last resort and makes the point clear.

[Marimaru 7]

Go ahead beat your kids, they're your property:eek:

Seeing as you keep insisting on mentioning that this is a debate and you have the right to state your opinion, I will mention the fact that a "debate" is supposed to be an intelligent conversation among apposing sides, not a place to be sarcastic and rude.

This comment was totally out of line on your part. The point you are missing is that there is a difference in spanking (usually, there's not even real pain involved) and beating.

Obviously that point is lost on you repeatedly, so, I'll just go with your 'agree to disagree' and leave it at that, I guess. I haven't heard from you why spanking (in the sense that anyone is talking about it here, not beating) isn't a viable punishment for a child who DOES NOT respond to being spoken to or having privileges taken away. I agree it should be a last resort, but please, enlighten us on the "other options" if speaking to and grounding doesn't work.