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Approved - now comes the scary part-mental hurdles



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Got the news I was approved today. Yeah!!!! Now the scariest part to me is the thought of trying to change my life long eating habits permanently. I've honestly been scared to death these last few days as I've been eating - yeserday was eatng a plate of spagetti, and I realize that after surgery, there is no way I could eat a whole plate of spaghetti. I couldn't even eat 1/4 of what I was eating. So of course there is this urge to eat everything I can now, before I start my preop diet because I think I'll never be able to have it again (I know that's not true, but that doesn't keep my mind from telling me that).

Don't get me wrong - I want to not eat that big plate of spaghetti. I want to be able to eat a small amount and be full., instead of always being hungry and eating several times trying to get that feeling of being full I want to be healthy, get rid of the back pain, not look horrible in clothes, etc.

I just don't know how I'm going to mentally handle the thought that I am only supossed to eat a few spoonfuls, and that I will live (logically I know I will-it's just games my mind is playing with me)

I've been paying more attention to the way I eat these last few days, as I was waiting to hear whether or not I was approved. I realized that I don't really chew my food - I take large bites and chew a couple of times and swallow and take the next bite. And I eat fast. I guess knowing what I have to do post surgery is making me more aware of my habits now.

So the band is going to help me do what I need to do. Force me to stop or else I throw up - which I hate, so I think after it happens once or twice I'll probably get the picture.

I know the band won't work if my mind isn't right and I don't make the lifestylel changes - and I know I've made them in the past - exercising 5 or 6 days a week and eating less (although not as little as I'll be eating now).

Just wondering how others are preparing themselves mentally for the change.

Thanks

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As I 'm reading your post I have the same fears and I too have also noticed that I only chew a few times and then swallow and I eat fast too, so I've already started to be proactive and start to chew my food slowly and try to eat protien first my biggest thing is that I always drink and eat at the same time and they say you can't after...... so good luck just wanted to let you know your not alone:hungry:

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I was so excited about my new tool I was going to get that I thought I would be okay. After my band I had 3 serious mourning stages. First was Chinese,then came Mexican and finally it was doughnuts. It was in the first 3 months. I would be sad when I drove past "my" doughnut shop. This was where I would buy 6 choc creme filled long johns and stuff 4 down on the way home and eat the other two later.

I started out in a tight size 26 jeans. When I slid into a size 18 my depression left me. I was in a normal size and it felt better than any huge volume of food.

Have I eaten chinese and mexican ? Yes but bandster portions.

Was I happy ? Yes. It tasted delicious.

What I want to say is the control that I feel over myself feels so much better than shoveling all that food in me. I can bend over easily, wear cute clothes , my knees don't hurt me anymore , I have so much energy and most of all I am not a "big" woman anymore. I am normal. I don't feel like I stand out in a crowd anymore.

It is so worth it. I don't miss the food.

edie

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Kimmi,

I saw your post and recognized myself pre-band right away, fit me to a T! I was banded on Oct 30 and before the pre-op diet I had the "this is the last time I'll ever have this" mind frame and ate like the world was comming to an end! I guess for me I just took everything as it came. Post-op you will be sore and on Clear liquids, full liquids and then mushies (according to your own doctor's orders) so I was careful to follow the instructions for fast healing and to avoid pain. I have had some restriction even after the swelling has gone down, and as I see the scale slowly but steadily going down I can't wait to get a fill and get to the "sweet spot" because I know it will continue, and that never happened for long for me before the band. I guess that and the info and statistics I see on this site helps me believe that I really can obtain my goal because so many others have. I'm working on getting into a routine with exercise. Once you enter bandland things will change and you will be glad to eat small amounts just like thin people do! Best wishes and I hope you get your date soon!

Kelly in MO

309/282/150

pre-op/now/goal

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I have also been thinking about that. I have to take classes before I can have mine done and have to lose some weight before they will do the surgery. What scares me is that it is so hard to not eat everything because of the "last meal" syndrome. I am hoping I can get the weight off before my banding on Jan 2nd!! I am with you! Brain hunger is way different (and more challenging) than stomach hunger!

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Thanks everyone! It helps to know that I'm not alone or "crazy" and that others are or have been in the same position and made it thru. Hearing your personal stories really helps alot.

And Edie - your picture looks great!

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I too went through all of these things. I am a big fan of Mexican food and went out and got it everyday for a freaking month beofre surgery..i told myself well if its on a taco salad haha

I think we are genetically programmed to swallow food whole. People rearely chew. I still to this day have to mentally kick myself sometimes if I dont chew enough..you would think Id learn but Im pretty stubborn. For the fiirst month or so Id have to count my chews per bite..it was pretty interesting. Ive also learned to cope with my cravings. Now ifI want Mexican, I go eat Mexican, but instead of eaing the chips like they are the last food on earth, I eat one chip at a time, broken into small pieces in my hands and well chewed. Doing this keeps me busy instead of drooling at the chips, and it also stops people from bugging me about why Im not eating. Then I order whatever I am craving with the knowledge that they DO have these lil styrofoam containers to take food home in, theres no clean your plate rule. In doing this, I have several meals, and I dont feel deprived. Plus just about anything from a mexican place can be crushed ontop of a salad and BAM Taco Salad :D

I still feel weird about how little I eat. At thanksgiving, I had a little desert plate to put my food on, and all I had was greenbean casserole and a piece of turley..and I was groaning with the people who had 3 plates!! Man it felt good.

As for exercising, the first couple of months I really didnt do it. But once about 30 or so came off, I realized it was alot easier to exercise, and I didnt hate it as much. Just find something you enjoy. Me, I enjoy kickboxing, so Im going to start a class soon. And I always wanted to do karate, almost done with that class now..up next? Im thinking horseback riding and maybe..just maybe..swimming:faint:I know!Gasp..that requires a bathingsuit! but I used to enjoy it, and so I think Im going to take it up again..although it wouldve been great if I reached this choice BEFORE the dead of winter!

Good luck!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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