Surgery this month, wife threatening divorce

[Ostflicka 37]

Just now, Xx1jpt5xx said:

Nope shes still not onboard. Had to have my mother take the surgery day off so she could bring me.

Wow 😳 that's sad, how long have you been married. I needed my husband for everything after my surgery - I was in so much pain and I couldn't drive. I am still not driving and I'm like 3 weeks post op.

Is she like worried you're going to get all thin and leave her & the baby? I know some women don't like changes in their lives and worry if there are that there is something up with you. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Like I said before good luck 🍀 I hope your marriage survives this. It's a huge adjustment.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,938]

1 hour ago, Xx1jpt5xx said:

Nope shes still not onboard. Had to have my mother take the surgery day off so she could bring me.

@Xx1jpt5xx... Not trying to sound hateful, but, she sounds like a controlling person. No one should be made to feel like they have to choose... My now ex-husband was the same way. When i told him i was thinking about having WLS back in 2009 he said I was just being lazy and should be able to lose weight like everyone else... Told him the loss was not my problem, it was keeping it off. He did everything in his power to get me to change.. even scheduling a "bike ride" (Motorcycle) during my liquid diet week. Which turned out to be the biggest blessing of all. The week we were gone there was a massive layoff and i was to be one of them. I would have lost my insurance and had to cancel... So joke was on him. He never took care of me, my daughter in law did. He didn't miss a chance to tell me that i was a failure and the only reason i lost weight was that i had a "surgical body".... He would tell me..... You know, you were prettier when you were fat, cuz i couldn't see all those wrinkles on your face..... or, that i looked like a bag of bones..... or the only reason you want to lose weight is to get another man..... He was horrible. In the end, i was married to him for 26 years. When i told him i wanted a divorce it was like a thousand tons was lifted.

"most" all of my friends that have had WLS are divorced now. It really takes a toll on ALL relationships. Not just marriages, but friends and family too. Everything in your life will change. Some good, some bad. But it will change.

It's your choice.... She doesn't have to live in your body... Just you.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,938]

1 hour ago, Xx1jpt5xx said:

Nope shes still not onboard. Had to have my mother take the surgery day off so she could bring me.

There are lots of men on here that are great role models....

[hmills653 365]

So sorry. I’m a nurse and feel so much better after surgery. Not to make her feel uneducated but maybe if she did know more of the facts about BariatricPal surgery that would help her. Nursing is such a broad field that none of us can be experts in all areas. I’m sure she’s concerned about things such as complications or some worry their spouse will leave them if they lose weight. I would try to explain the medical reasons such as sleep apnea, blood pressure, arthritis, wear and tear on joints etc, risk for stroke or heart attack and that with a baby coming you want to be your healthiest self for both of them. Good luck

[frand 0]

You can’t do this for anyone but yourself. Good luck!

[SabrinaGoddess 101]

On 2/4/2020 at 12:20 PM, Xx1jpt5xx said:

Shes very unsupportive and is even threatening divorce if i go thru with it. I'd like to mention that i just found out shes pregnant so i think she may try stabbing me in my sleep.

Married people share a life but they still have separate journey's. Your journey is important and it's even more important that you are healthy for that baby. You gonna be one busy papa! Try to sit and talk with her and make he understand this is a healthy choice. She may just be scared. Congrats on the baby! You got this! I even suggest therapy if you can because you need to get to the root of the issue and address it so your relationship can thrive.

[JMA2019 43]

My husband was against it (married 17 years). He would say things like “you can loose the weight yourself without this” and be discouraging. He didn’t even stay with me in the hospital the first night, my mom did. Bottom line.. I did this for ME! Be too busy with were your headed then who’s coming with you.

[mike2019 12]

My wife wasn't supportive of me having WLS surgery either in the early rounds, but she warmed up to it. She was scared of losing her bad-habit-eating buddy.

Now, believe it or not, she enjoys many of the leaner meals I cook up for us. And of course she is loving a leaner husband!

[Xx1jpt5xx 93]

For those following this post, I'm scheduled tomorrow for surgery. Shes been pretty quiet the last week but I came home and she gave me this so i think shes coming around.

[momof3_angels 465]

For those following this post, I'm scheduled tomorrow for surgery. Shes been pretty quiet the last week but I came home and she gave me this so i think shes coming around.

Glad to hear it! I hope she becomes supportive. Keep us posted and good luck tomorrow!

Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

[SeattleLady 277]

Awww cool! As a nurse maybe she concentrated on all the stuff that could go wrong. Now, she has researched. It was the best decision even with getting GERD.

I walk, run and play. Your turn in a few months. Kiss her as you go into the operating room. Tell her you will be right back! Then do just that and kiss her again!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

[JRT Mom 920]

Good luck-we'll be thinking of you!

[Provost 9]

On 2/4/2020 at 12:20 PM, Xx1jpt5xx said:

Hi all. Josh is the name. First post. I have surgery scheduled on Feb 26th. I'm excited.

My wife has been against it for months when I first brought it up. Claims WLS is a money making scam and thinks that being a nurse makes her an expert. I let her know my plans as soon as i got a surgery date. About 5 weeks beforehand. I did kind of drop the news on her but I knew she would never let me get as far into the process as I have. Shes very unsupportive and is even threatening divorce if i go thru with it. I'd like to mention that i just found out shes pregnant so i think she may try stabbing me in my sleep.

My wife is also not supportive at all, maybe not to the extent of yours... no threats of divorce.

She is slowly coming around since I have made it clear that I am doing it (surgery is March 16th). I even had to arrange a friend to care for me when I got out of the hospital when she said she wouldn't do it (I think because it is a requirement to have someone watch you for the first couple days, she thought it was a way to stop it from happening).

I am not sure what is behind it, she struggles with weight as well and maybe she thinks she will be left behind or something. We have young kids and I just want to be able to be more active with them. I can't do things like to to the fairs and go on rides with them because I don't fit, I can't go canoeing or things they are starting to want to do.

[november11 970]

43 minutes ago, Provost said:

My wife is also not supportive at all, maybe not to the extent of yours... no threats of divorce.

She is slowly coming around since I have made it clear that I am doing it (surgery is March 16th). I even had to arrange a friend to care for me when I got out of the hospital when she said she wouldn't do it (I think because it is a requirement to have someone watch you for the first couple days, she thought it was a way to stop it from happening).

I am not sure what is behind it, she struggles with weight as well and maybe she thinks she will be left behind or something. We have young kids and I just want to be able to be more active with them. I can't do things like to to the fairs and go on rides with them because I don't fit, I can't go canoeing or things they are starting to want to do.

@Provost First of all congratulations on your decision to literally change your life and health status.. I'm very sorry to hear your wife is not as supportive as you would like her to be. However you must do this for YOU . More than likely as she sees your steadfastness without resentment or anger towards her she will come around. Just continue to be nice, smile and do what you have to do.. It may take some time but just hang in there and whatever you do, Do NOT host a pity party . just follow the surgeon and nutritionist instructions to the letter and you will have excellent results... Men lose so much faster and astonishing than women. Max out with the Protein requirements and Water intake . Worry about the other skin issues when and if the time comes.. Save some money in the next year or so just in case and if not then knock yourself out with a total new wardrobe /car . lol .Good luck and God speed to a quick recovery in your fast approaching surgery...… keep in touch here on the forum....

[TheJuice202 63]

First time seeing this thread. It's the 27th. I haven't skipped to the 3rd page but I hope you got the surgery yesterday.