Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Did any of you keep your surgery a secret? I have! Please give input!



Recommended Posts

I only told my husband. It's nobody else's business.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm waiting on my prior authorization, but I have chosen to keep it to my wife only (so far). on the other side a have two co-workers that I'd swear get $$ for referring people to the surgeon since they talk about it so much/openly.

Sent from my SM-G960U using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've chosen to keep it only between my husband, my surgical team, God, and myself. That being said, who has the biggest mouth and told someone else? My husband! He swears that said other person will never tell, but really?! I asked him to keep it just between us and sx hasn't even happened yet. The running joke of the family is telephone, telegraph, and tell a member of my husband's family. Didn't realize it included him too! Silly me!!

I still choose to keep it to myself. As others have said, it is my health, and no one else's business.

Of course, telling everyone everything gives my husband a lot more friends than me. I don't tell, and people think I'm standoffish or snobby or something. I have many acquaintances but very very few friends. I tell you, sometimes you just can't win. LOL!

My plan is to tell people I'm having a medical procedure done when I go out, and when I come back in 8 weeks I'll tell them I've been recovering and am now following a medically prescribed diet with exercise and that I've never felt better!

Not so sure what I'm going to do about going home after surgery. I live like an hour away from my hospital, so an Uber or Lyft is pretty much out of my price range and my husband can't drive. So, we'll see. I may have to scrimp together some pennies for the next month or two for that Uber ride.

So this has been my long-winded way of saying do what you feel is natural for yourself and your health.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Machalo said:

I've chosen to keep it only between my husband, my surgical team, God, and myself. That being said, who has the biggest mouth and told someone else? My husband! He swears that said other person will never tell, but really?! I asked him to keep it just between us and sx hasn't even happened yet. The running joke of the family is telephone, telegraph, and tell a member of my husband's family. Didn't realize it included him too! Silly me!!

I still choose to keep it to myself. As others have said, it is my health, and no one else's business.

Of course, telling everyone everything gives my husband a lot more friends than me. I don't tell, and people think I'm standoffish or snobby or something. I have many acquaintances but very very few friends. I tell you, sometimes you just can't win. LOL!

My plan is to tell people I'm having a medical procedure done when I go out, and when I come back in 8 weeks I'll tell them I've been recovering and am now following a medically prescribed diet with exercise and that I've never felt better!

Not so sure what I'm going to do about going home after surgery. I live like an hour away from my hospital, so an Uber or Lyft is pretty much out of my price range and my husband can't drive. So, we'll see. I may have to scrimp together some pennies for the next month or two for that Uber ride.

So this has been my long-winded way of saying do what you feel is natural for yourself and your health.

well if i lived closer.... i'd be your uber....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You're so sweet @BayougirlMrsS! Hope you're having a wonderful day!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

it would be free too

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tried to keep it a secret, but when filling out paperwork for FMLA I had to get my boss to sign. She saw what type of surgery I was having and told her admin team. I’m not so sure they haven’t told others. I also told my work BFFs... but I trust them and know they haven’t told.

IDK- when I get back from FMLA on 2/10, I will prob start to blab. I just know I can’t NOT talk about it. It’s such a huge part of me right now that I don’t really care what people think.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1# she the Boss violated HIPAA rules and regulations. You can actually sue your company you work for for this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, ninalopez1015@yahoo.com said:

1# she the Boss violated HIPAA rules and regulations. You can actually sue your company you work for for this.

While that is certainly true, I am a teacher and education runs on politics. If I were to sue my principal for telling my AP, I would never get another job.

Im in it for the long game. Don’t worry, this will come up- I just have to play my cards right. Politics, it sucks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites



1# she the Boss violated HIPAA rules and regulations. You can actually sue your company you work for for this.


technically, HIPAA doesn't apply to employers. but it would certainly be violating several employee privacy acts and company policies.

Sent from my SM-G960U using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess I can understand why some would not want to broadcast the fact that they've undergone a bariatric procedure, but I haven't kept mine a secret. Anyone who knows me knows that I've struggled with weight. For me, I don't see the harm in folks knowing that I'm working to get it under control. I haven't encountered any negativity - Mostly just friends and coworkers offering words of encouragement!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So I checked and your part of VA is not so close to DC. I viewed my WLS as not a secret which is fundamentally entwined with shame but private. Simply put not everything is public knowledge it’s OK for some things to be private. When we say secret we often are mixing an emotional sense of shame with what ever we do not want as public. Best to you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had my surgery almost exactly 3 years ago and didn't tell anyone other than 2 friends who live halfway around the world and are not connected to any of my other friends, family, or co-workers. I wasn't going to tell anyone, but then I thought someone should know in case something happens to me. When people asked about my weight loss I focused on the the low carb/portion control aspect of what I was doing (which, let's face it, is what leads to long-term success).

I'm going for my revision surgery in a month's time and this time no one will know. The only people I would be willing to tell are some friends who are also morbidly obese - but only if they asked me specifically about it. In a few years time, when I am hopefully in maintenance mode, I think I would be more willing to talk about it openly, but while I'm still struggling, it's not something I can really talk about. I live in a country that has one of the lowest overweight/obesity rates in the world, so it's not like there are a lot of people out there who have a shared life experience that I can talk to about it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×