Being in emotional pain for the better part of 45 years and now in physical pain for several years and after dozens of failed attempts to lose weight, I've decided on bariatric surgery. Surgery is scheduled for March 6, 2019. I was excited for about a minute... then the fears set in.

• How drastically will my life change when I lose the weight?
• Will my husband and I still love each other? Will our lives take such different paths that we grow apart?
• What will family and colleagues say/think?
• Am I vain for wanting to do this?

Then there is the uncertainty of success...

• Can I truly commit to this new lifestyle?
• Will this be added to list of failures?

I am committed to this decision and yet as I sit here while the family is still asleep, with tears streaming down my face, I keep asking myself "why are you afraid to be thin?"

Edited February 24, 20197 yr by sneezergirl

7 minutes ago, DanaC84 said:

That is fantastic that you already meeting your Protein goals!!

Yes, and that passes. On my 14th day and I can drink water, several chugs, easily. It gets so much better. Give it one more week. I can't wait to hear how you do!

I know those feelings of uncertainty. I ask myself why i remained obese for so many years. I am concerned about how I will respond to a new, normal-weighted me. Most concerning is how i will respond to potential attention from the fairer sex. I wonder if i never really tried to lose weight because i was afraid of being tempted by women who might show me attention as a thinner person that wouldn't have otherwise. I'm aware of my concerns, i just hope i can work through them.

3 minutes ago, KC77 said:

I know those feelings of uncertainty. I ask myself why i remained obese for so many years. I am concerned about how I will respond to a new, normal-weighted me. Most concerning is how i will respond to potential attention from the fairer sex. I wonder if i never really tried to lose weight because i was afraid of being tempted by women who might show me attention as a thinner person that wouldn't have otherwise. I'm aware of my concerns, i just hope i can work through them.

Oh, those same thoughts have been spinning through me for years.... why am I holding on to this "cushion" of protection? Sending you positive thoughts for success and emotional healing!

On ‎3‎/‎5‎/‎2019 at 8:11 AM, gabybab said:

Sorry, I see you have surgery tomorrow. It's not a picnic, but the rewards are worth it. I would just tell your nurse to give you all the pain meds..that's what has helped me most.

Best wishes tomorrow. 1 week and you will feel 90% better!

Let me know how you do. I see you are a fellow Washingtonian. ?

6 days post op and I have one incision that is painful - the biggest one. I hope it heals in the next couple of days. Have not had much weight loss this past week which is disappointing. I'm getting 80+ grams of protein a day and an ounce of fluid every 15 minutes I'm awake, but I feel hungry most of the day. Hoping my stomach was made small enough! Keeping positive and increasing my steps every day, so keep your fingers crossed.

On ‎3‎/‎5‎/‎2019 at 10:34 AM, Frustr8 said:

Oops I hit the send instead of backspace, but I want to send my very best wishes. Today is my 6 month Surgiversity, hasn't been the journey I booked for, haven't had exactly the results I was seeking, but you know what? Its still good, I'm still betterthan I was. when I started. Fought over 3 years to get my RnY, 3 years 3 weeks to be exact, against what often seemed insurmountable odds. You see I was 72 years 8 months 10 days when I finally received it, many facilities won't accept you past 60, let alone 70+. you're expected to die fat, sick and obese. So I had even more specialists than average to clear me, psychiatrist as well as psychologist, 2 different cardiologists, pulmonologist, sleep study, dieticians/nutritionsists, jumped through every hoop, can't jump high but was successful. Found out some things about me along the way, got confirmation of something I had suspected for years, after hearing God made an error, I was worth living because I didn't fit life 's pigeon- holes , I am Aspergers, a high functioning Autistic, a slightly different motherboard than many but I'm very cool to know. I have wondered literally since adolescence, another of our traits, many of us " rock" on research. But for years the official line was Autistics are male only, thank you Temple Grandin for proving them wrong. We were the silent minority that feel through the cracks, unoticed and underserved Sorry sometimes I got off on a tangent about this, but finding out I wasn't defective, crazy or worthless helped me to finish my journey toward surgery.
I am widowed so don't have themarital dynamic but my son , who I call Tomkitten because my original e- mail had kkatlady in it serves as my #1 support and our bouncing off each other is similar. Yes you will still live your husband, and if he is the right guy, he loved you heavy he' 'll still love you thinner . He fell in love with the inner Sneezed not just the covering. Oh there will be moments when you turn into a Ragin Cajun, as the fat melts a lot of chemicals and hormones get released. I'm long past menopause but I had a weepy day once because I didn't have a picture taken right before surgery. Sounds silly looking back, but I was heartbroken at the time, another day I got weepy because I am starting to resemble a dead relative, I couldn't hardly reconize ME in this face. Everybody says your chest is the first place you lose, not me, it was my forearms and wrists, they started looking like a little old lady owned them.
But my main advice as you face your surgery, dont look back, that's not the way you are heading. This is an investment you are making in you, your future and your marriage. And he will be so proud of you for your strength in seeing this through. You can text me, PM. me but I am going to be one of your biggest fans, usually the ones questioning before have the best end results. No tears, no fears, You Are Going To Do This and Do it Well. Now Big Smile? and On You Go! ❤Frustr8❤

Thank you! inspiring to read your post!!