Do you feel more attractive?

[sideeye 1,440]

I did the regain-to-hide thing too, about five years ago. Made no sense, knew it didn’t make sense at the time, still was the best way to stop people from staring at me and catcalling me and saying things that basically boiled down to “it’s so much more comfortable for me that you’re not fat anymore!”

Over the past five years I’ve gained a significant amount of professional clout that included a lot of into-the-lions-den type of confrontations, the sort where my tone and attitude remain sweet but I hold the line and generally... impose my will? That sounds weird. But basically going up against someone else psychologically and being able to confidently negotiate. And I think that attitude has carried over to post-surgical weight loss. For some reason, this time round I am just not having it. No one gets cute with their words, trash guys generally stay respectful and I am weirdly unencumbered by negative thoughts.

I certainly am AWARE I still have hangups. I’ve lost enough weight that not just upper arms but thighs and boobs are now pretty loose without clothes. But my mindset about it is just wholly different. I used to dive right back into a nightgown after shenanigans, or pull the sheet up over my chest. For some reason I do not give a toss anymore and just do what’s comfortable.

Which is a long way to say: do I feel more attractive? Conventionally yes, I get more looks and I fit into what I used to call “normal human clothes”, so societal validation has pretty much ticked that box. But do I personally feel more attractive? I’d have to say I just feel a blend of way, way more confident and comfortable in my (loose!) skin, which probably changes my aura considerably. If a person important to me finds that attractive then great, but I’m not sure I would get a vote. I’m the same. The casing and society’s reaction is just different.

[JessLess 1,163]

I feel more attractive but I get my picture taken at work a fair amount for social media and I can't see the difference enough for me yet. Who is that still fat person?

I just respond with "thank you" to compliments and it took practice. But any compliment given that implies I looked like **** when I was heavier enrages me, and it was the same last time I lost weight.

[funky_monkey800 245]

Ugh...this post hit home. I cant take a compliment either....we went out last weekend my husband told me I looked pretty. My response : crickets🙄

I had this whole outfit planned and figured I was really gonna shine....got ready, thinking Dang girl!

Got our picture taken....seriously look like trash.

No matter how hard I try I still see fat me. Idk if it ever goes away. I work out a lot and have muscle definition but I have a few spots like a saggy belly that just gives me tunnel vision...all I can see are the jiggly parts.

I compare pics and no doubt there is a change! And I love the change and I love how strong I am and the huge list of things I can enjoy now.....but idk if I will ever be able to completely get rid of the "old me"

[Frustr8 7,886]

When people say" My you're looking good today!"I get suspicious. Don't I always? Size should not always equate Beauty.
Remember I have seen me naked before, I have lost weight, over a hundred from my all-time high but at least 140 pounds from scrawny and frightenly small.

[Grannie PP 0]

Hello Beautiful Ladies,
This is my first time on any site and admit the same thoughts and deep enter personal true core soul the center of who we are feelings. Majority of us have never truly have ever had truly mixed emotions all at one time.
The true core soul questions.
We where most miserable,lonely woman when we where to the peak
Of our weight gain when we truly hit rock bottom to the soul emotion.
That moment we all made the choice that was enough.
We might have said to ourselves that's the last time I have the core soul raw heart to heart with our soul and said,
1. if I have weight loss surgery I will be healthier and can stop my meds
2. I would regain the eye of that special person we all love, wish we could love the one my eye would love to love.
3. I would once again feel sexy and not care who was looking at us. We had confidence smile and keep going.
4. Buy any cloths again something cute and of course sexy to be in but would catch the eye of that special someone.
5. We could once again fill our dreams with an activity that we have only dreamed of or was once a passion once before

Now that we have had the surgery and have either reached that goal or lower and think once again hard on ourselves we thought or we imagine and or dreamed of what we would look like or should I say society influence on how woman should look.
We are at the best part of the journey we started on and thought that all I needed to do was loose the weight.

Well I have just mentioned thought, feelings and emotional roller coaster since I was 9 years old.
Now being almost 55years old!!!!
Yes let me just say to ALL woman from my heart and core soul no matter where we are on this journey called Life remember these words.

I am Beautiful to me
I am worth the moon
I am blessed for the chance to be alive again and be true to Me
I am so Thankful to myself to allow me to finally just be me.
Dont know if it's my age or just tired of feeling like I'm always being judge or criticized by other people for obese when I was my worst critic. Now that I have chosen this path stay true to yourself. We have all made this choice for ourselves.
Remember be happy to in control of our own body. We have been given a tool to use if we so want it.
If we choose to not use it is our own choice. Dont blame others if we slid.
Get up,move it and keep that control.

So yes being in our head at our worst and now wiser stage of our lives to finally say this is my Life and who I am.
Yes I am and you all are Beautiful woman, why because we are ALL special in our own ways.
When you really LOVE ourselves we can have that confidence we once had years ago or never had that feeling and are first walk in front of those she only dreamed we could catch that special persons eye and now we do.
Say yes," Girl you got this ****!!!!!"
That's right the confidence not b***h type but deep core soul feelings this is what we have all worked for....you have worked for ????
LIVE IT, LOVE IT, LAUGH
You have talked the talk now take the walk as you are the Beatiful Woman in the room as you see each and every woman in the room as your deep core soul sister and we share an true woman with confidence.
Reach out to woman you meet, stand next too, in line at the store, come face to face with as you pass by, the woman having a miserable moment...you share the feeling with them with empathy, none judgemental, smile, simple hello, how are you today? A compliment.
So as that woman that is just starting this journey or one can share this journey with those who had those questions and worry of the outcome, pain , suffering this new journey may bring on this so called being a woman we all can help one another with verbal and emotional support.
I wish we as woman the beautiful humans God has created with such strong shoulders we bare, loving arms we hug those we love so tightly, the legs in which we use to carry our young to the heart and core soul of each and everyone of us deserve to be at peace and find that inner beauty we all have.

Girl this is just truly the beginning I have found I'm finally finding peace within myself at my rip age off almost 55.
Now matter what age on this journey you are on find that inner core soul peace.
The Confidence!!!!

I can feel each of you a part of me at some point and thinking wow we all feel it but never express to each other and share.
Share with one another life is too short not to.

Remember
GO LIVE IT
GO LOVE IT
JUST LAUGH!!!
GIRL YOU GOT THIS ****!!!!!




Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

[clsumrall 535]

Thank you for your words we are STRONG. we are BEAUTIFUL. WE SRE WOMAN. good day as well as some bad.