Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Do you feel more attractive?



Recommended Posts

I did the regain-to-hide thing too, about five years ago. Made no sense, knew it didn’t make sense at the time, still was the best way to stop people from staring at me and catcalling me and saying things that basically boiled down to “it’s so much more comfortable for me that you’re not fat anymore!”

Over the past five years I’ve gained a significant amount of professional clout that included a lot of into-the-lions-den type of confrontations, the sort where my tone and attitude remain sweet but I hold the line and generally... impose my will? That sounds weird. But basically going up against someone else psychologically and being able to confidently negotiate. And I think that attitude has carried over to post-surgical weight loss. For some reason, this time round I am just not having it. No one gets cute with their words, trash guys generally stay respectful and I am weirdly unencumbered by negative thoughts.

I certainly am AWARE I still have hangups. I’ve lost enough weight that not just upper arms but thighs and boobs are now pretty loose without clothes. But my mindset about it is just wholly different. I used to dive right back into a nightgown after shenanigans, or pull the sheet up over my chest. For some reason I do not give a toss anymore and just do what’s comfortable.

Which is a long way to say: do I feel more attractive? Conventionally yes, I get more looks and I fit into what I used to call “normal human clothes”, so societal validation has pretty much ticked that box. But do I personally feel more attractive? I’d have to say I just feel a blend of way, way more confident and comfortable in my (loose!) skin, which probably changes my aura considerably. If a person important to me finds that attractive then great, but I’m not sure I would get a vote. I’m the same. The casing and society’s reaction is just different.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel more attractive but I get my picture taken at work a fair amount for social media and I can't see the difference enough for me yet. Who is that still fat person?

I just respond with "thank you" to compliments and it took practice. But any compliment given that implies I looked like **** when I was heavier enrages me, and it was the same last time I lost weight.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ugh...this post hit home. I cant take a compliment either....we went out last weekend my husband told me I looked pretty. My response : crickets🙄

I had this whole outfit planned and figured I was really gonna shine....got ready, thinking Dang girl!

Got our picture taken....seriously look like trash.

No matter how hard I try I still see fat me. Idk if it ever goes away. I work out a lot and have muscle definition but I have a few spots like a saggy belly that just gives me tunnel vision...all I can see are the jiggly parts.

I compare pics and no doubt there is a change! And I love the change and I love how strong I am and the huge list of things I can enjoy now.....but idk if I will ever be able to completely get rid of the "old me"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
When people say" My you're looking good today!"I get suspicious. Don't I always? Size should not always equate Beauty.
Remember I have seen me naked before, I have lost weight, over a hundred from my all-time high but at least 140 pounds from scrawny and frightenly small.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×