My (ex) bf and I have dated for nearly 5 years; he lives with me. The last year of our relationship has been rocky anyway, but ever since I told him I had decided to have gastric he became even more standoffish and argumentative. Two weeks ago we had a huge blowout over something completely idiotic, he comes back to the house, and says he has been acting the way he has because he thinks that once I lose weight I am going to leave him and that's all he can think about.

Mind you... I have not even had the surgery yet. He said I am going to lose weight, gain self-esteem, realize I am too good for him, and leave him.

Well, guess what, pal... I don't need to lose ANY weight to realize I am too good for you. It's been a long time coming, but I think it's even sadder that he is using my choice to get healthier as a justification for being an a*s.

The only thing this does is put me in a rough position as far as someone staying with me while I recover. My mom and stepdad are going to take "shifts" as long as they can, but they both work. And the ex is currently dwelling awkwardly in my basement, but will probably not give me a hand at all. It does make me sad because I had hoped he would be there at the hospital with me... but then all of this BS happens. *insert gigantic eye roll emoji here*

I am okay, though. I need these next 12 months to focus on me and getting healthy and fit and not dealing with unnecessary dramatics and stress. I have always thrived when single and he actually had moved out of the house for a year and it was fantastic. I hate to say it, but I'm looking forward to this new chapter - of not just weight loss, but of being single and free!

Edited October 10, 20187 yr by mousecat88

On 10/10/2018 at 12:58 PM, mousecat88 said:

any driving restrictions outside of being on the pain meds?

no driving restrictions beyond waiting til you are off the narcotic pain meds

I'm having a really hard time at home. The ex is in a CONSTANT mood. I simply asked how he was doing yesterday and he snapped at me. I sent him a long message while he was at work telling him he had to leave immediately instead of the planned few weeks I was giving him to save up. I told him I didn't need him for surgery or to help out, and that he just lives in my basement for free and is an ass. But then he got home this morning and was sullen and apologetic and then I always go back to "fine. if you can be nice, you can stay for a while longer." It's really easy for me to say what I need to when I am not facing him. He asked me if I "really" didn't want to be with him, and I told him that I didn't and he certainly didn't act like anyone interested in being in a relationship, either. It's just really dysfunctional and I can't overcome this cycle. My surgery is in 15 days and I really don't want to be dealing with a man-child's attitude during it. He has NO money, and I haven't been buying him any food, so there's nothing in my house he can even eat (it's all protein shakes, etc). It's just weird.

Edited October 16, 20187 yr by mousecat88

Good for you! You'll be totally fine. I was on my own for my recovery, and I think it was better that way, because it forced me to get up and do things for myself. You've got this!

Mouse?cat?88 POWER FOREVER! You always have a fan in ME!

And my ??I do hope you kicked Pole?to the cold curbside, don't want him bringing You Down!