If everything goes well my surgeon says I should only be in the hospital for one night but I am not sure how to "prepare" my five year old. I want to be extra careful since my father died suddenly over the summer and my daughter, though grieving appropriately, still has some fears of the unknown and I don't want to scare her. I'm thinking maybe having her sleep over my sister's house the night I am in the hospital but I'm not sure. What did you do/are you planning on doing to address your hospital stay with young kids?

On 10/04/2018 at 11:28, megolego said:

If everything goes well my surgeon says I should only be in the hospital for one night but I am not sure how to "prepare" my five year old. I want to be extra careful since my father died suddenly over the summer and my daughter, though grieving appropriately, still has some fears of the unknown and I don't want to scare her. I'm thinking maybe having her sleep over my sister's house the night I am in the hospital but I'm not sure. What did you do/are you planning on doing to address your hospital stay with young kids?

I’m a young widow, and my younger girls are 9 and 11. I didn’t tell them, I sent them to camp. I knew no matter what I said they would be anxious/scared and I didn’t want them to worry one bit. So I made back up plans in case camp needed assistance, Family was on call, and I was able to have a few days to recoup. When they came home I made it easy and low key, they my doctor and I decided to do a couple things to make me healthier. That was it. Good luck to you!

I don't have young kids, but I remember BEING a young kid with anxiety and a father who was in and out of the hospital for heart-related stuff. I would have her spend the night with your sister as planned and build that up as a really fun experience. Let her watch Jojo Siwa and whatever the kids are into these days, she can stay up late, she can play Barbies all she wants, stuff like that. Maybe even give her a special toy/ stuffed animal right before so that she has something positive that a) keeps her distracted and b) reminds her that you love her and any separation is only temporary.

After surgery, I would tell her the VERY basics. Mommy went to the doctors and they fixed something inside, so let's play this game together because mommy's sleepy or doesn't feel great. If she's into doctor kits, let her "give you a check-up" and have her give you your vitamins in a little bathroom cup. that was my FAVOURITE thing when my dad needed to take pills. My brothers and I and my brothers used to fight over it.

Similarly, a friend recently had emergency surgery on a vein in his leg and he told his 5-year-old he was going to get fixed like the toys do in McStuffin's Hospital in the show Doc McStuffins. That helped A LOT.

Thank you both for your advice

On 10/4/2018 at 2:28 PM, megolego said:

If everything goes well my surgeon says I should only be in the hospital for one night but I am not sure how to "prepare" my five year old. I want to be extra careful since my father died suddenly over the summer and my daughter, though grieving appropriately, still has some fears of the unknown and I don't want to scare her. I'm thinking maybe having her sleep over my sister's house the night I am in the hospital but I'm not sure. What did you do/are you planning on doing to address your hospital stay with young kids?

I have an 11 year old and I was going to tell him I was having a simple procedure on my stomach. I’m hoping that he doesn’t get to anxious. He’ll be busy with school and friends so I think that will help. Not a bad idea to have your daughter sleep over at your sisters. That’ll take her mind off of it to do something fun! Good luck!

I told my children about the surgery, they are 6 and 3 cause they love to jump on dad and horseplay lol so told them they had to be careful with me for a couple of days and they got the message loud and clear also showed them my surgery scares. I chose not to stay in the hospital since I was self pay told them I was checking out Pronto and did so once I woke up from surgery I got up go dressed and went to my truck and let my brother drive me home. I think I was out of there 2 hours after surgery lol I HATE HOSPITALS and consider myself to have High Pain tolerance. Good luck the kids will understand and its the best decision of your life I can now play with them much more than before and Theme parks are no longer a burden Not fitting in roller coasters SUCKS.

Edited October 15, 20187 yr by AASosa

I would not involve her at all. Less is more. I had surgery when my girls were little (different kind and was in the hospital for 2 days) and they never knew. I sent them to my mothers and never mentioned it. Zero anxiety for all involved.

My boys were 7 and 6 when I had my surgery in April this year. Last year my husband had to have emergency quadruple bypass which terrified them when they were able to see him and he was in the hospital right at a week. I sat them down before going to the bariatric doctor and told them what I was trying to do. they told me I didn't need to because I was pretty the way I was. I had co morbidities and I needed it for my health. I told them that I was trying to do what I can to be a healthy mom. they also know I'm in recovery for drugs and alcohol and they know what my AA book is and I told them momma is trying to be a healthy mom both from bad things like germs and things I can control so I can be with them as long as possible. I was in the hospital for my wls for about 4 days and they stayed at their grandmothers house for a few days and then my hubby went and got them to see me and see I was ok in the hospital and being taken care of. They also were told because I was going to be sore and walking around uncomfortable for a little bit. They were my big little helpers when I came home. Now, since I've talked with them like miniature grown ups (on their level) they actually look at calories and ask me if I can have certain foods. They are a huge part of my journey because they have motivated me to be the best me.