So, I am in the Pre surgery phase. I am seeing nutritionist and doing all of the other pre op requirements, including the 6 month diet (low carb of course).

Before I decide to move forward with the process, I asked my husband for his support and his feelings on the surgery. He was all for it and said he would definitely support me if that is what I really want. “ all I want is for you to be happy and healthy baby”, is what he said. (He also is around 300lbs and knows he needs to lose some weight too. )Well, here it is a two months into the diet, I am down 11 lbs but his support is only verbal. Let me explain, he says I support you and sometimes he acts like he supports me but other times he is driving through the McDonald’s parking lot ordering a combo with French fries and a coke ( one of my weaknesses is fast food, especially French fries). I say I want a quarter pounder with cheese no bun. He orders the quarter pounder and says “ you can take off the bun yourself”. When I bring it to his attention later, he says “this diet and surgery is your choice not mine, and for now on you worry about what your gonna eat and I will worry about myself.”

I have tried to tell him more about my new eating habits and how it will change even more after the surgery. But it’s like he doesn’t listen and he still swears he is supporting me.

Any experiences or advice would help. What should I expect from him? Am I asking too much?

So I can totally relate. I had a similar situation with my husband, but we’ve got a better compromise now.

It’s cool that others have the willpower to have their loved ones eat crap, but the reality is most of us probably do not. Willpower fails, cause we’re all only human.

I tried the laissez-faire approach at first.. I was totally cool with my mom and husband ordering pizza my first night home from the hospital... ??. But I had zero appetite then... and then I did get my appetite back some and there were constantly salty snacks (my kryptonite!) around.. that I cheated with.. because like I said, willpower fails sometimes. I finally broke down and had a long talk with my husband about bringing crap food around. We compromised... he no longer brings salty snacks home, but I am okay with him buying sweets and the like. Why? Cause I can resist those... never have been a sweet person really. Also- he eats what he wants to eat when we go out or he’s out with friends.

In my case, for me to have any chance at success, I needed him to come on board somewhat. Tell him how important this is to you!

This is my opinion only, but he’s right. This is your journey, not his. If you guys both go through a drive through, you can place your order when he is done with his. It’s that simple.

Is he being an a**hole about it, sure. Because it’s quite simple to say “no bun please”, he just doesn’t want to. It could be that he is envious of you. Or maybe he is mad. Whatever emotion it is, it’s his problem. If he isn’t the type to talk about it or change after you’ve expressed how you feel, then you have to accept it.

I realized after my surgery that I CANNOT expect anyone else to cater to my diet needs. If my coworkers have a potluck and bring nothing but food I can’t eat, guess what, I am not eating that food and being my own lunch. I can choose not to participate and bring no dish, or I can bring a dish I can eat as well as others. Ironically, I bring a dish I can’t eat because I still like seeing people happy by eating my food lol.

this journey is yours and yours alone. I hope you find peace with your decision as well as your husbands.