Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Do You? You know use that word!



Do you use the "N" word?  

4 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you use the "N" word?

    • No, NEVER!!
      196
    • Yes, but in the past!
      28
    • Yes, what's wrong with saying it...
      30
    • OMG! I don't want to answer this..How dare you!!
      11


Recommended Posts

it seems like jodie has seen it all and been through it all at the young age of 20. that's a little hard to believe to me.

i'm white, and my bf is black. between the two of us, we talk like we want, and discuss racism as it appears here in texas. we occasionally use racial slurs, but the two of us here this conversation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

it seems like jodie has seen it all and been through it all at the young age of 20. that's a little hard to believe to me.

i'm white, and my bf is black. between the two of us, we talk like we want, and discuss racism as it appears here in texas. we occasionally use racial slurs, but the two of us here this conversation.

She is old beyond her years.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't have time to real all 300 + posts. But as the father of a bi-racial son. I would never use the word or allow that language in my house. Period. You can try to justify different races using it, but the bottom line is that the word originates as a heteful work, meant only to demean a particular race. To me, it can never be used in a good or acceptible way

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

To be honest, I use it the same way I'd use "White Trash." Ignorant black people who break the law, think the government is their "lifeline," and think white people today should somehow be responsible for their shortcomings. You notice I say black and not African-American too. I have a German heritage,can hold a basic conversation in German, and I do not consider myself a German-American. I'm an American. I'd guess 98%+ of so-called "African-Americans" would be hard-pressed to speak one sentence of any of the languages used in Africa. It's not a racist thing; it's a realist thing. I have nothing against black people. If Colin Powell ran for president, I'd vote for him in a second (over any of the present candidates, Republican or Democrat). If Al Sharpton ran, I might vote for Hugo Chavez first. It'd be a hard choice. The "N" word is hateful and demeaning-so are the people deserving of the moniker.

I use the word AND it bothers me when someone who's not entitled to use the word uses it..... I may sound strange.... but to me.... the only people who've been able to understand that black, African-American -ness are black/African-American people.

Stereotypes are stupid. Haitians on an island in the Caribbean don't have the same culture/language/experiences as an A/A living in the States, but we'll both be called a n*gger just the same..... who does that? Are Jews being called Irish-slurs? Are Italians being mistaken for Israelis? Why is there this group of people that have been lumped together based on color? Seems a bit arbitrary. Why not just lump people together based on eye color? or.... pants size? brain capacity... it'd be just as stupid. People look at me and see African-American...... I'm actually not.... I'm part English, part French, and very Haitian..... I'm fluent in three languages, I have several degrees, I'm more than meets the eye.....

What I love the most is, for example, when I brag about my little brother who had a full ride to Rutgers and the white people who would ask me...."What sport does he play" :)

Actually none.... he's just smart! He didn't get into college because of quotas.... he got a near perfect score on his SATs.... My brother is now at Stanford earning a Ph.D. in Physics and he deals with this bullshit everyday....and my thing is.... don't walk up to me and say "yo" to me like you have an clue about who I am or where "I'm from", don't wish me a HAPPY KWAANZA, just don't a-s-s-u-m-e anything about me because of the color of my skin....and don't use a word that you haven't earned the right to use....You're not part of the club, unless you live it...

and on that note I'm off to :notagree

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

<p>

....and don't use a word that you haven't earned the right to use....You're not part of the club, unless you live it...[/quote

I agree with your post about stereotypes 100%, but i guess I am unsure how you can "earn" the right to use derogitory word regardless of what race you are. That argument makes no sense to me. To me, an African American using that term does exactly want you are trying to fight, it projects a stereotype.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Its not really an issue in Australia, with other races, yes, but we dont have a large black Afro-American population. To see someone with that jet black skin is rather unusual, although locally we have quite a Sudanese population.

Australia has always been pretty multicultural within my lifetime, its something I've grown up with so to me, I dont have embedded racism issues. I honestly dont.

Muslims have faced a pretty tough time here too and that upsets me, in the wake of 9/11, its like every muslim you see is a terrorist? That's stupid, its as stupid as if a fundamentalist group of Christians bombed Baghdhad then that means I'm personally responsibe?

I do believe thought that assimilation takes effort from BOTH sides and that it is perfectly possible to retain the values of one's culture and also to take on new ones too. But it rarely happens sadly.

Still, race means nothing to me, I can see obvious physical differences but I make no assumptions based on them.

Jacjut - you have aboriginies they aren't considered "People of color?? arent' they discrimated against ?? I have read that they are only 1% of your populatins - but that back in the 1800 they were massacred by the colonizers Not only were sacred Aboriginal places violated and desecrated, the Aboriginals themselves became hunted like kangaroos for pleasure and fun,

Happily many things have changed for the better amongst Aborigines today, and many anti-discrimination laws have been reinforced. Racial discrimination is a very serious crime in Australia, and the government is giving extra support to indigenous communities. In reality, Aborigines in 2006 are receiving many more social benefits than any other community. Many Aboriginals are completely integrated into society, through music, art, politics, making their presence enhance the real Australia.

I think every culture and country has it's own form of racism... It's very unforturnate - but there are all forms of discrimination from rich people to poor people - white trash, mexican trash, black trash - who are we to judge another person... My family is multi cultural (3 diff races) but they aren't with out predjudist.. I am an idealistic person - I think we are all the same no matter the color of our skin or what our bank book looks like - and how this world would be just a better place if everyone thought like this - too bad the rest of the world doesn't think like you and me - then it would be a peaceful world...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

<p>
....and don't use a word that you haven't earned the right to use....You're not part of the club, unless you live it...[/quote

I agree with your post about stereotypes 100%, but i guess I am unsure how you can "earn" the right to use derogitory word regardless of what race you are. That argument makes no sense to me. To me, an African American using that term does exactly want you are trying to fight, it projects a stereotype.

I hear you.... but sometimes people, within casual conversation call each other things that the wouldn't call each other in public view....

I call my best friend "bratty" or "fatty" or if we're talking about sex... I may even call her a "slut"...(playfully)

I call my husband "poppy" or "daddy"

....I would never expect that someone outside of our realm uses the same terms.... the word nigger became entrenched in the vocabulary of A/A not by their own volition..... A/A started answering to it because they had to.... now that its adopted into the culture's lexicon, it doesn't mean, you-- as an "other" can go ahead and use it.... b/c you're not in that culture....

I've known many an Italian that refers to himself as a Guido... or lesbians that describe themselves as dykes.... or Asians who refer to themselves as Chinks... That does not give me the right to use that term to describe them or call them out in public..... but, nor do I have the right to tell someone how they should/should not speak or to refer to each other.... it's not my business, really, and should not be my concern... as long as their ok in their own skin... right?

When I say it...it's not ill-intended.... It doesn't mean to me what it means to someone outside the culture...shouting at someone who's within it...

This is a pretty dumb (albeit controversial) topic anyway..... It's as if someone is looking for permission to say a word she knows she shouldn't be using.... and If you don't take my word for it....Go to any corner in Newark, NJ and refer to someone as a n**** , and see how it works for you...

:omg:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

<p>

I hear you.... but sometimes people, within casual conversation call each other things that the wouldn't call each other in public view....

I call my best friend "bratty" or "fatty" or if we're talking about sex... I may even call her a "slut"...(playfully)

I call my husband "poppy" or "daddy"

....I would never expect that someone outside of our realm uses the same terms.... the word nigger became entrenched in the vocabulary of A/A not by their own volition..... A/A started answering to it because they had to.... now that its adopted into the culture's lexicon, it doesn't mean, you-- as an "other" can go ahead and use it.... b/c you're not in that culture....

I've known many an Italian that refers to himself as a Guido... or lesbians that describe themselves as dykes.... or Asians who refer to themselves as Chinks... That does not give me the right to use that term to describe them or call them out in public..... but, nor do I have the right to tell someone how they should/should not speak or to refer to each other.... it's not my business, really, and should not be my concern... as long as their ok in their own skin... right?

When I say it...it's not ill-intended.... It doesn't mean to me what it means to someone outside the culture...shouting at someone who's within it...

This is a pretty dumb (albeit controversial) topic anyway..... It's as if someone is looking for permission to say a word she knows she shouldn't be using.... and If you don't take my word for it....Go to any corner in Newark, NJ and refer to someone as a n**** , and see how it works for you...

:omg:

This is just my two cents, but I feel if you want others to stop using a word then those who feel "entitled" to use the word should stop using it as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

<p>

I hear you.... but sometimes people, within casual conversation call each other things that the wouldn't call each other in public view....

I call my best friend "bratty" or "fatty" or if we're talking about sex... I may even call her a "slut"...(playfully)

I call my husband "poppy" or "daddy"

....I would never expect that someone outside of our realm uses the same terms.... the word nigger became entrenched in the vocabulary of A/A not by their own volition..... A/A started answering to it because they had to.... now that its adopted into the culture's lexicon, it doesn't mean, you-- as an "other" can go ahead and use it.... b/c you're not in that culture....

I've known many an Italian that refers to himself as a Guido... or lesbians that describe themselves as dykes.... or Asians who refer to themselves as Chinks... That does not give me the right to use that term to describe them or call them out in public..... but, nor do I have the right to tell someone how they should/should not speak or to refer to each other.... it's not my business, really, and should not be my concern... as long as their ok in their own skin... right?

When I say it...it's not ill-intended.... It doesn't mean to me what it means to someone outside the culture...shouting at someone who's within it...

This is a pretty dumb (albeit controversial) topic anyway..... It's as if someone is looking for permission to say a word she knows she shouldn't be using.... and If you don't take my word for it....Go to any corner in Newark, NJ and refer to someone as a n**** , and see how it works for you...

:omg:

Plump princess - My child is 1/2 Afro American (well grown now) and to him growing up he thought the N word was a bad word just like the F word.

It's not used in my house or in my present - I don't think that the word should be used by anyone black white purple etc - why in the heck would an A/A want to respond to such a derogatory remark or word (I would think that you would want the word bad due to the negative condentation) - as far as it being that its adopted into the culture's lexicon - i think that is a cop out - heck if you keep telling yourseld you can't do something then you won't - but if you say i can do it you can - just like the little engine that could - calling yourself stupid then you will be stupid - it all about positivive reaffirmations not negative ones - are you saying it's ok to refer to women as b's??? I don't think so...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Plump princess - My child is 1/2 Afro American (well grown now) and to him growing up he thought the N word was a bad word just like the F word.

It's not used in my house or in my present - I don't think that the word should be used by anyone black white purple etc - why in the heck would an A/A want to respond to such a derogatory remark or word (I would think that you would want the word bad due to the negative condentation) - as far as it being that its adopted into the culture's lexicon - i think that is a cop out - heck if you keep telling yourseld you can't do something then you won't - but if you say i can do it you can - just like the little engine that could - calling yourself stupid then you will be stupid - it all about positivive reaffirmations not negative ones - are you saying it's ok to refer to women as b's??? I don't think so...

It could be a cop out.... or an explanation for something that exists within the A/A culture in general-- and in it's various forms of communication, music, etc. Is it right to use that word? ---you're right it's probably not for anyone of any color...but judgments from the outside tend to be tunnel visioned.... and tends to leave details out... for someone who can't see and experience how it "works" in conversation within the A/A community it can be hard to understand.... it loses it's meaning in the translation into the "American" vernacular

In Spanish Negro is black, simply a color, in Haitian Creole, Negre (translated nigger) is just the normal way you refer to a man, any man. In those countries they don't take it as an insult, It's Americans and American culture who have taught Blacks to react the way they do to that term, and when A/A attempt to adopt it and attempt to recreate and re-invent it....well then, WE'RE wrong! :wacko:

For years A/A have been looking for acceptance, A/A were trying to change how they are referred to, trying to find something that would be viewed as good and acceptable by mainstream culture:

N*ggers ---> Negros ---> Black---> Afro- Americans---> African-Americans

When acceptance never happened..... they reinvented the original....

That's my theory (not to be mistaken for an excuse)... cop out or not

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"People of color" is stupid. We're all people of color, unless you happen to know someone with transparent skin. And... umm... if you do, eww.

"Nigger" is a derrogitory word. If it weren't, people wouldn't use it in hateful ways. I mean, hearing people from the ME called "Sand African Americans" just doesn't have that ice cold puncture that the person making the statement is looking for, does it?

But I understand its use among groups. I understand that black people can use it in a way that's totally different from how someone else might use it. I personally don't think it has anything to do with earning it, but I think it's a great sign of resiliency to take a once posion name and use it as your own term of endearment. I mean, how better to remove its power?

And I don't think the logic of, "Well you say it, so why can't I?" works here. There's too much social weight on the word. Sure, use it if you want, as long as you're willing to accept the consequences (which will be different geographically).

I personally hate racial slurs because - wow, talk about something that someone REALLY can't change. I've never understood the idea of hating someone because of how they're born, but if that's all the better someone is, then just know to keep your expectations low.

And I hate "I don't see color." Bullshit. Everyone sees color. You cannot have me (pasty white) stand next to a black or hispanic person, and tell me in all seriousness that you do not see a difference in our skin color. Of course you do, or you're blind. What you let that difference mean to you, that's what matters.

By the way, I hate "African American" too. Most of the black people I know have never even been to Africa, let alone are they from there. They're no more "African Americans" than I'm a "Greek American." The only people I've ever met who had a problem with calling someone "black" were white.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Plumb P., if you really mean you'll stop using the word (or at least try to refrain) then our rants were well worth expressing here. Good job!

That was my attempt at sarcasm..... so No, I'll probably not stop thinking what I think, b/c you think what you think.

But, on the other hand, you'll never hear me use the word, anyway. Because I wouldn't use it with you.

Wheetsin seems to be able to grasp what I'm saying a bit more. I'm not saying that calling people racial slurs is ok, it just exists... Most people are so caught up in ending overt racism, that they lose the full picture. Black people are not looking to the mainstream culture for acceptance about the language they use in thier homes/privates spaces...

My point is, let's all focus on a REAL issue. Like, what brings one person to the point where they want to disrespect/degrade someone else. Or, why does one person feel better/more entitled than another because of physical traits... Or better yet, let's focus on how I really feel, and why it bothers me so, when two people connect on a level that I'm not used to/am not comfortable with....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×