Hello!

I’m Haley, 27 YO from Toronto, ON.
I will be seeing my surgeon in the next couple of months, and have been told I will have my RNY by the end of the year. I feel like I have been waiting FOREVER. (Referral to Bariatric clinic August of 2017.)
I have absolutely no complications, and all of my appointments have been a breeze.

This is looking to be one of the most positive things that I can think of for my life, so I have started preparing. Practicing not drinking before or after meals, restricting my calories and carb intake, and adding in some moderate cardio daily.
I am having this surgery not only to become a better version of myself, but to help with infertility problems. I have PCOS and it has gone into OVER DRIVE between the birth of my son, 3 following miscarriages, and losing and gaining back 60+ lbs two separate times.
I want more babies, sooooooooooo bad. My husband is the greatest dad, and he deserves more children as well, and welp my ovaries just aren’t cutting it in my hormonal condition right now.
I am also trying to deter a future almost guaranteed diagnoses of type 2 diabetes. My fathers almost entire side of the family has it, and I take after him to a teeeee. ( dad passed at 52 ?, aunt passed at 54)
I have never in my life been ‘slim’ or ‘skinny’ and I seriously mean neverrr.

BUT my family thinks I am crazy to go under the knife for this!
They think because I’ve done well and lost 60+ lbs twice in my life that I should be able to do it no problem.
I’ve tried explaining that it’s not the actual work it’s the maintaining and emotional state I get in when I’m putting in 2 plus hours at the gym 4 -5 days a week on top of maintaining a full time job in corporate, and raising my four year old to be a super hero.
I want this tool more than anything ( except another baby) and I am sooooo ready to work it.
My spouses support is seriously second to none. He has read every article, and just been right on top of it forever reminding me that he is here to support me.
But I just can’t help feeling sad, and angry that my two best friends ( mom and sister) roll their eyes and change the subject when I want to talk about this journey.
How have you dealt with close family members not being supportive? Did they change their tune after seeing your success after surgery?

HB.

On 6/29/2018 at 12:26 AM, habee said:

Hello!

I’m Haley, 27 YO from Toronto, ON.
I will be seeing my surgeon in the next couple of months, and have been told I will have my RNY by the end of the year. I feel like I have been waiting FOREVER. (Referral to Bariatric clinic August of 2017.)
I have absolutely no complications, and all of my appointments have been a breeze.

This is looking to be one of the most positive things that I can think of for my life, so I have started preparing. Practicing not drinking before or after meals, restricting my calories and carb intake, and adding in some moderate cardio daily.
I am having this surgery not only to become a better version of myself, but to help with infertility problems. I have PCOS and it has gone into OVER DRIVE between the birth of my son, 3 following miscarriages, and losing and gaining back 60+ lbs two separate times.
I want more babies, sooooooooooo bad. My husband is the greatest dad, and he deserves more children as well, and welp my ovaries just aren’t cutting it in my hormonal condition right now.
I am also trying to deter a future almost guaranteed diagnoses of type 2 diabetes. My fathers almost entire side of the family has it, and I take after him to a teeeee. ( dad passed at 52 ?, aunt passed at 54)
I have never in my life been ‘slim’ or ‘skinny’ and I seriously mean neverrr.

BUT my family thinks I am crazy to go under the knife for this!
They think because I’ve done well and lost 60+ lbs twice in my life that I should be able to do it no problem.
I’ve tried explaining that it’s not the actual work it’s the maintaining and emotional state I get in when I’m putting in 2 plus hours at the gym 4 -5 days a week on top of maintaining a full time job in corporate, and raising my four year old to be a super hero.
I want this tool more than anything ( except another baby) and I am sooooo ready to work it.
My spouses support is seriously second to none. He has read every article, and just been right on top of it forever reminding me that he is here to support me.
But I just can’t help feeling sad, and angry that my two best friends ( mom and sister) roll their eyes and change the subject when I want to talk about this journey.
How have you dealt with close family members not being supportive? Did they change their tune after seeing your success after surgery?

HB.

I am sorry you're not getting the support you deserve, I understand my mother is that way too. She has been coming around latley and been supportive, but some of her better moments were " I'll resent you when you're smaller than me" and "don't you think you're being obsessive about this it's not like you've had the surgery already (b/c during my pre-op I too started practicing.smaller meals, eating slower, not drinking) but I've seen the eye roll, I get it.

I have never been thin either. I started becoming overweight in the 1st grade and just never stopped. I was thinnest my senior year, got all the way down to a 12. I have lost and gained, lost and gained.

Just remember you are doing this for you, and the only person you have to justify your choices with, are yourself. They may not understand now, but I think once they see your dedication and the life long commitment this requires they will come around. At least your husband supports you, and has your back, that says a lot. You have this community too, and we have your back as well.

Good luck to you, you've got this !

On 6/29/2018 at 9:25 AM, Creekimp13 said:

Your sis and mom's reactions are probably motivated by fear. They might ramp up their objections right before surgery....prepare for that. And after surgery, when the fear is largely removed...they'll be supportive.

I might be wrong on this....but it's a fairly common reaction...particularly if either or both of them also struggle with their weight.

I completely agree with all of this. We crave support from those who are closest to us, but until they're willing to be more openminded you have to cheer for yourself and focus on the support you receive from your husband. I truly hope that they come around and support you to the fullest extent.