Does the attention bother you?

[Losebig 508]

I think it’s different for men, but I definitely notice much more attention and people are much nicer. It took me a while to notice people were flirting, but I’m fine with it. I don’t love what it implies about society, but there’s not a lot I can do about that (other than to treat heavy folks with respect).

[gahvi 15]

It’s been weird for me as well. I’ve been noticing that people have started to see me and treat me in a very different way.

Those that have known me for a while compliment me on my weight loss. Many of them actually want to hold a conversation with me and invite me to do things when they never asked me. Coworkers have been giving me invites to lunch, dinner and happy hour at the local bar- which I decline. I’ve also noticed that I get more attention from the ladies at work and at the grocery store.

It makes me wonder how people viewed me when I had the 72 lbs of extra weight. What did they think of me. Was I not just another human being in their eyes?

I sometimes dwell on it for a days. It makes me feel ashamed of myself and sorry for my kids and wife. And then think, I still have more weight to lose. How different will it be when I lose another 40-50lbs?

[SueperGal 92]

I have not lost too much just yet since I am just getting started, but people are noticing. The odd thing is that they do not say anything to me, they talk to my friends and husband and I get the message through them.

My husband had a discussion with some acquaintances last week who said they were worried about saying anything to me because they did not want me to think that they did not like me how I was or that they would not like how I looked if I regained the weight.

As many on here have already said, people are not sure how to react, especially the people who know you, so they do and say weird things. I am sure everyone means well, they just are not sure where the line is between complement and backwards complement.

[Laura7 334]

A coworker of mine felt the same way. She didn’t have surgery but she lost a lot of weight. She said, “I’m the same person but I get treated differently”. To be honest I do compliment her a lot but I didn’t know her before. She wears a lot of cute jewelry and Mary Kay products. Personally I get compliments on my clothes as a larger person but sometimes I feel like someone wants to say I look nice but doesn’t know if it’s appropriate when I’m larger. I think that people themselves don’t always know when it’s right to compliment and maybe larger people make people unsure. You never know what others are thinking. You control you and don’t worry about what you can’t control. Lol It’s not like you can be like, “stop complimenting me, I’m the same person!” -in your head I guess lol

[Losebig 508]

I think that people are nervous about what to say when you lose so much so quick. They may think you are sick or otherwise having a problem. I’ve had some folks ask if I’m ok and meaning to lose weight. For people who don’t see you that often they usually don’t know what to say. I was told that shaving my beard made me look way younger (that and losing 100 lbs!).

[Jolexis 203]

I actually think about this! Before I gained the weight a few years ago, I always used to get hit on and complimented on my looks. Since the weight gain, nada. (Not that I’m fishing for compliments) It was a noticeable difference in how people treat me that I really had a hard time dealing with. I worry that I’ll be “jaded” when I do lose the weight. Like, would you have even noticed my existence if I still had the weight on me? If that makes sense.

[MeanSleevedMachine 277]

Meh. I don’t care really. If people compliment me I say thank you. If they don’t say anything I don’t pay attention.

The world is full of ugliness and things to be upset or outraged about. If I receive a compliment it is hardly worth being upset about it.

What does irk me is when I tell someone that asks that I had sleeve surgery and then they hint at it being the “easy way” to lose weight. While the sleeve does in fact jumpstart things it is me that gets up at 5 am and works out five days a week. It is me that take the stairs and walks five miles a day. It is me that logs everything I eat and avoid all junk foods.

The sleeve deserves a lot of credit for getting me going. However, we all have a decision to make after the ball gets rolling and we can sit on our butt or get to work. It still takes every bit as much effort to get off your lazy ass after the surgery as it did before. Trust me, many a 5 ams I will wake up and wish I was still snoozing. Many nights after dinner I’d rather sit and watch TV than go for a walk. The sleeve does nothing for that. Only willpower and good decision making will.

Now that burns me up and I generally get on my soapbox.

[TakingABreak 2,733]

On 06/26/2018 at 20:14, jasehoward said:

Meh. I don’t care really. If people compliment me I say thank you. If they don’t say anything I don’t pay attention.



The world is full of ugliness and things to be upset or outraged about. If I receive a compliment it is hardly worth being upset about it.



What does irk me is when I tell someone that asks that I had sleeve surgery and then they hint at it being the “easy way” to lose weight. While the sleeve does in fact jumpstart things it is me that gets up at 5 am and works out five days a week. It is me that take the stairs and walks five miles a day. It is me that logs everything I eat and avoid all junk foods.



The sleeve deserves a lot of credit for getting me going. However, we all have a decision to make after the ball gets rolling and we can sit on our butt or get to work. It still takes every bit as much effort to get off your lazy ass after the surgery as it did before. Trust me, many a 5 ams I will wake up and wish I was still snoozing. Many nights after dinner I’d rather sit and watch TV than go for a walk. The sleeve does nothing for that. Only willpower and good decision making will.



Now that burns me up and I generally get on my soapbox.

You are so right! You did the hard work, not the sleeve. I love your explanation. I haven’t told many people of my WLS because I don’t want to have to feel like I have to justify my hard work. It’s a shame that people think that way, but they don’t know any better.

[ktzimmerman1952 1]

Its not always them sometimes we need to take responsibility maybe you smile more and carry yourself better and are more open in general because you’re not trying to be invisible.

[sleeveforme2016 7]

The only thing that bothers me about the attention is people wanting to know how you lost it. I haven’t told anyone about my surgery ( Except close fam and 2 friends) So I just tell them what diet and exercise plan I follow. I’m not open about my surgery it’s no one’s business and plp tend to judge you when u say you had surgery. They don’t understand that surgery is not easy, it still takes hard work especially a year afterwards

[YeahOkay31 651]

Immensely. I am a private person, and I don't like the spotlight. The only person I like the attention from is my husband. The rest of the world can go screw.