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I would've rather won the lottery!!! :biggrin:

You and me both!:tt2:

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We've been packing all day, and I'm beat.

I took a break earlier and rode the bike around w/the dogs. It just felt nice to get away from the hussle at home for a little bit. (Bicycle, unfortunately...not the kind discussed earlier.) :tt2:

As for DD, I really don't care about the money as much as I do the time. He has 2 daughters from his first wife and now he's married again with another baby daughter. The older 2 are in their 20's and the very oldest will call DD and text her constantly. She also will send me emails every now and then. She's really a sweetie. His first wife raised them right, and did a great job.

Her sister and I have been talking about sending DD to FL in October for her Grandmother's 90-something birthday. I think that's awesome and I will definitely set that up. So, at least not everyone in the family is a deadbeat.

Okay, break's over....back to packing.

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You know, I was so ticked about my ex not having anything to do with my DD that I never really took into account that my ex's family NEVER saw her after we split. She had a grandmother and aunts and uncles, and they never ever once saw her or, as far as I know, even inquired about her.

The grandmother thing for me is almost worse than her own father not seeing her.

I feel the same about the in-laws. Our children don't just miss out on a father, they miss out on the whole extended family thing. My daughter has grandparents and an aunt and uncle she has never met, probably has cousins too..

You know, that's one thing I really admired about my grandmother. I have an uncle who got divorced when his son was only 5 or 6. His ex took the boy to the other side of the country to live, so none of us could keep up contact with him. The uncle sent his support money and kept us informed about major news, but no-one saw him again. At my grandmother's funeral, 2 years back, many of us noticed a man at the back of the church. I can remember asking someone "Who's that? I know him. I'm sure I've met him before!"

Turns out it was Michael and no, we hadn't met (well not since he was 6 and I was 9) but he had the family features so strongly he just looked totally familiar. Granny had been sending him birthday cards and Christmas cards all this time, staying in touch with her grandson. In her memory, he braved the funeral to come and meet us all. He's a lovely man and living back on our side of the country, so stays in contact now.

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My DH falls on the other side of the deadbeat thing. His ex, has a child, she does not work, she fought to get SSDI, but now is able to party, and do what ever the hell she wants. We pay CS every single month without fail. We provide insurance and cover 91% of all medical/dental/vision etc not covered by insurance. For the last 6 years, when we try to make contact, the only words she utters are "I don't wanna talk about it". She is 18 in a few days and we will continue to pay until she is 19 years old.

For the first 10 years we sent gifts for every holiday imaginable, as well as back to school supplies and clothes. We had a huge Christmas for her either on Christmas, or on Thanksgiving---depending on when we had her. We had huge birthday parties for her every summer. Pinatas, family picnics--BIG parties. We took her on vacation with us----she was part of our lives. Then Mom got to where she refused our visits, so we spent over $70,000.00 (yep 70K) in court-----because once things began not going her way....we got the news, the child is not DH's! Tests proved that to be so.

So......all the way to the Colorado Supreme Court, and we still pay child support, for a child they no longer help us with any visitation, we have not seen her for 5 years, but we pay, pay, pay. We pay for tennis lessons, we pay for school trips......and we are not even allowed to call her house.

Back in the day DH was married to the Mom, he put her through school to become a paralegal, and for years she has worked for her attorney. He helped her get her SSDI, and for many years when we did see the child, we were told she was STILL working for him. Well all her legal is free of charge, and ours is not.

And yes, in court, when he ask for relief from CS----he was labeled a dead beat Dad. Kinda funny, since he isn't the Dad.

12 more payments, and the woman will be out of our lives. And maybe the child will be able to connect with the family she knew if she wants.....

Oh well....it built character....yep.....sure....it did!!!

Sorry you are on the other side of the fence!

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You and me both!:tt2:

We could tear up some shopping in Tenn + GA!!! And we would be helping the economy to boot! :biggrin:

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To all of the mothers,

Happy Mother's Day!

:tt2::wub::biggrin::wub::biggrin::wub::biggrin::wub::biggrin::wub::sneaky::wub::blink:

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I have no idea how anyone could do that. There are those of us who wanted children and who would have done almost anything to have them...to read of people like you ex just breaks the heart; it is beyond comprehension.!

what taps says - i second.!.

to all you moms - have a great day.

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To all of you who are mothers...I hope you are enjoying a wonderful day doing whatever it is that brings you great pleasure.

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Happy Mother's Day to all our moms!

I've been spending the last two days attempting to organize nearly four years' worth of filing (crap was just stuffed in boxes, ugh), and DH is outside trying to "cultivate" some wild blackberries so that he can have him a stash. Kiddo couldn't understand why dad wasn't taking me out for Mother's Day, and I asked her WHEN in her entire existence has he EVER done anything for me for Mother's Day? After all, "I'm not his mother" (thank GOD).

Speaking of which, I think Slim's MIL just called me and asked if I had any extra toothpaste, caulk, and pink glitter. I have no idea what that's all about...! ;)

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Speaking of which, I think Slim's MIL just called me and asked if I had any extra toothpaste, caulk, and pink glitter. I have no idea what that's all about...! ;)

OMG! :unsure::lol: I laughed so hard when I read that! She did call for cigs. I am glad that she got the rest from you!:mad:

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OMG! :unsure::lol: I laughed so hard when I read that! She did call for cigs. I am glad that she got the rest from you!:mad:

Actually she'd have to get the rest from DH cuz I don't smoke. I think I heard him on the phone earlier, come to think of it... and I saw him walk outside with a crowbar and plumbing snake. ;)

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Here's a great shot of one that's for sale on Ebay:

DSC_2821.jpg

Hey! We have that bike! It's a Screaming Eagle Fatboy! One Sweeet Ride!

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    • Doughgurl

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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