The stress of taking control of my life.

[Alaska1980 10]

Good morning, please understand this is the first time I have ever posted something anywhere. Also that I feel this is more of a vent than anything.

I am 5’7” tall, large frame and have been obese since I was 5 months old (per my medical records). I was in WW in the 5th grade at 198lbs . My hw was 310, my goal is 150

In the fall of 2014 I went to see a dr about my back ( I have ddd, sciatica and a few more things wrong with it) but the dr told me he would not touch my back till I was under 200lbs. The dr assistant gave me the name of a pcp that might help me get control of my weight.

I started seeing the pcp for my weight she was nice and seemed to understand my struggle. I talked to her about gastric bypass and she said we could try. I followed her instructions for the next 6months and talked to with a bariatric surgeon. My paperwork was submitted to Aetna but was denied because I did not lose enough weight during the 6months. I walked away angry and ashamed of myself.

In the fall of 2015 I went back to the same pcp and asked for the diet pill qysima (sp?). I went from 270lbs to 207lbs in less than a yr. I was so happy I have only seen under 200lbs once, I was in military school and bulimic. When I ask to renew my prescription, my pcp told me no and I needed to learn to do it on my own.

In 2016 my personal life went to s***. I was back up to 240lbs and smoking.

In the fall of 2017 I went back to the same pcp and asked again to have my prescription renewed. Again she told me no and that she had managed to lose 20lbs all by herself that summer and that I just needed to learn self control and to eat less. I was angry, how dare she compare us. She is a tiny little thing to begin with already and was surprised she could find 20lbs to lose. By the time I got to the car I was crying and called my husband to complain.

Let me just say this my husband is the most amazing person that have ever met. He is the reason that I never give up on myself and know that I am worth something. I had NO self esteems when we met.

Around Christmas I went to see a new pcp for my back pain. He suggested the vsg and sent me to see a different bariatric surgeon than in 2014. That surgeon told me up front it will be hard to get insurance to approve it as I am a healthy fat person with only a BMI of 36. But is willing to try using my issues with my back.

Well as of last Thursday I have finished Aetna Insurance-3 month (90 day) multidisciplinary diet. Now it is the waiting game as the dr office submits it, I think this is the hardest part so far. I feel that if I am denied again I will go to mexico to have the surgery. I must do something I can not live with the pain anymore.

Thank you

[okayestmom 232]

My insurance through the VA does not cover VSG at all. Mexico would be cheaper, but I am only going as far as San Antonio. We all choose different options based on what is best for us. I had/have a lot of guilt over spending this much money on myself. I know it is the best thing I can do for my health, but still have all those feelings that come with being told obesity is a choice that people make. Well, I did put food in my mouth, but I have lost and gained so many times...I know I need this tool to help me be successful. Sometimes it is harder to ask for help than to do things on your own. I don't think choosing this surgery was an easy decision for anyone with or without insurance.

I could go on about the health care system, but I think that would be more appropriate for the rant section.

[Frustr8 7,886]

@okayestmom we all need the rant forum at times. I just gently read the tiot act to a young poster on another thread. Among my other benefits/detriments I am a grandma and I hate to stand by and watch a younger person royally screw up their life without trying to intercede. Would I have,listened at posters age? Yes I would have, maybe a tad naive, maybe too strictly,raised,but I did tend to listen to my elders because that was the way I was taught.
Don't feel guilty about spending the money. You are worthy to make this step and I think you should make this step. If not today then when, if not now, do not take the risk of never. Did that, never will again for you see, today is also my day to step forward and shine in my own life.
Keep me updated, I want to know how things go👵😛

[RapidFirePickle 119]

I am sorry to hear that after struggling for so long you are having to endure more. I hope you get approved here; mexico is long way to travel for something that can be done here in our "backyard".

Fellow Alaskan wishing you the best.

[FluffyChix 17,409]

Welcome to the boards. I'm sorry you've struggled, but glad you're here now! We all have our own stories of how we got here and many are filled with rollercoasters and self-esteem issues.

Hope you get your approval and then you are able to see that getting the weight off will really help your back pain. My arthritis guy (I also have DDD and other stuff) said that even a 15-20% reduction in weight will help tremendously with pain. I'm going tomorrow for injections into my SI and right hip bursa via fluoroscope. I've no idea what I'm getting myself into with it or how hard it will be--I just hope it takes the pain back a few points on the pain scale!

[Alaska1980 10]

Thank you. I hope and wish the best for you. I know even a even a day from pain makes all the difference for me. I believe that people that suffer from chronic pain and still try for a normal life are fighters.

[Alaska1980 10]

Well insurance has denied me once again. I am now scheduled for surgery with Dr. Illan August 17th.

[Sleeved36 356]

Sorry to hear about your denial .

Glad you have a backup plan!

[Frustr8 7,886]

Still hang in here with all of us, we like you, we want to continually,hear updates. I have been fighting the Bariatric Wars since August 2015, should be completed June-ish?😛

[Jingle123423 165]

On 4/24/2018 at 8:15 AM, FluffyChix said:

Welcome to the boards. I'm sorry you've struggled, but glad you're here now! We all have our own stories of how we got here and many are filled with rollercoasters and self-esteem issues.

Hope you get your approval and then you are able to see that getting the weight off will really help your back pain. My arthritis guy (I also have DDD and other stuff) said that even a 15-20% reduction in weight will help tremendously with pain. I'm going tomorrow for injections into my SI and right hip bursa via fluoroscope. I've no idea what I'm getting myself into with it or how hard it will be--I just hope it takes the pain back a few points on the pain scale!

Fluffy- I currently have regular SI joint injections and they haven't been super helpful. Has your weight loss helped your back?

[FluffyChix 17,409]

11 hours ago, Jingle123423 said:

Fluffy- I currently have regular SI joint injections and they haven't been super helpful. Has your weight loss helped your back?

Yes, quite a lot really. I still have my hip pain but it's now mostly from a joint I won't let him inject (deep at the bottom of my pelvis). LOL. So I just have to lump it. I think my injection helped the SI and hip bursa although I think my other doc's injection on the left hip was better for the bursa than this doc's.

It's a give or take. I negotiate with myself if the payoff for being active is more than laying in a recliner and having a very similar pain. I take the activity as much as I'm able now. I know it helps emotionally for sure and also think it helps the arthritis pain too.