Excited but Scared

[stacy@5 69]

I am excited that I have my date for surgery but I am sad and scared because of the unknown! I, like many of you have used food as a crutch for so long that it’s got to be a total change in my life style, but I know without this surgery, i will not be able to get where I want to be!! Good luck to all of you on this exciting journey!!

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

Sending prayers and good thoughts your way! Surround yourself with supportive people and avoid the negative Nellies like the plague right now! I spoke with a lot of people who'd had WLS before I chose to take the plunge, and while they all said it was challenging (to various degrees) not one said they regretted their decision. The people in these forums are an amazing resource!

[FluffyChix 17,410]

This is soooo soooo normal. It's our fat brain trying to keep us down on the farm with our old relationships with food and the stuff that got us to the SMO ball. ((hugs))

You gotta do the head work and really answer some tough questions to yourself. You could also start now and work with a counselor that specializes in bariatric care and food addictions.

In the end, you have to consciously put your fears aside and make the choice to take a step out in faith. Get the surgery. And you will see, how silly your fears were. After the surgery, things for me were VERY VERY different. So much easier. Easier than I ever imagined and now I wonder why on earth I put this off for 2 years. I could already be at goal.

You'll get there. Keep working at it. It is a job. It isn't easy, nor is the surgery a short cut. It's simultaneously the easiest and the HARDEST thing I've ever done!

[frust8 962]

I have 2 friends who have preceeded me to WLs, one sleeve and one RnY, seems strange in a city of 18,000 there aren't more. I can tell you in my own city and county there are MANY who could profit from bariatric surgeries, we tend to,be "corn fed" I would love to lecture them on the wisdom of Bariatrics then I remember I would not have appreciated it before. I took suggestions of weight loss as a personal attack, after all I was good enough a person already. I think you have to come to the decision for yourself, it is not something you are ordered to do!! My thought: You reach a point where surgery is less fearsome than continuing to live obese, sad and feeling society's rejection everywhere you turn. You are at best 2nd class citizens, bullied and reviled for nothing more than taking up more space in life than they are willing to grant you. Often they do not see the "you", they see a fat shell instead.I don't think I've been normal sized since puberty, and before that? Pudgy ,on the high side of average at best. Shoot at 1 year.I was 36 inches& 35 pounds, I was drafted into obesity before I was old enough to enlist. I was always "Big for Her Age" until puberty when the kindness stopped and I became only the Fat Red-headed chick on the outside of every group and clique around. I seldom dated,no guy wanted a girl who weighed more than them, not even the football and wrestling teams. And they all missed out,because even then size be d*****d I was and still am a wonderful person to know,smart, witty yet kind-hearted, if they had only given me a chance! But still I went on, if I couldn't be pretty, cute and perky,I could,be smart so I buried myself in books where I couldn't be misjudged. Anybody looking for someone who can recite the US presidents, name the 88 Ohio counties and tell an important fact about each one, recite the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence? No one else did either. At one time I could recite every Ohio Governor from territory through statehood and quote the length of term. But dance? The only ones willing to dance with me were my girlfriends, when a guy finally asked,me to dance I had an embarrassing tendency to Lead, well I always been the tallest so.......

One said to me' Stop trying to lead", my answer was" One of us has to and I'm not too confident of YOUR ability!"Needless to say I was on the side lines, with all the other wallflowers soon.

Now,after all the dings of life, bearing more than few scars , I present myself at the altar of Bariatric Surgery,begging to be granted an audience and the surgery I so earnestly went. Will I have success? I have every intention of it, a wise woman, I believe it was@ proudgrammy, said "There is only Do or Not Do, there is no Try! " So I move forward with the hard won courage of my life toward the Target, not running but firmly stepping each step to the conclusion.[emoji13] I can but hope there are others who will cheer me on but if not-- I am still,persevering . And I will be the very best ME I can be for at the finish,this is truly My Own Victory[emoji304],[emoji573]alone. [emoji13][emoji295]

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

17 minutes ago, frust8 said:

I have 2 friends who have preceeded me to WLs, one sleeve and one RnY, seems strange in a city of 18,000 there aren't more. I can tell you in my own city and county there are MANY who could profit from bariatric surgeries, we tend to,be "corn fed" I would love to lecture them on the wisdom of Bariatrics then I remember I would not have appreciated it before. I took suggestions of weight loss as a personal attack, after all I was good enough a person already. I think you have to come to the decision for yourself, it is not something you are ordered to do!! My thought: You reach a point where surgery is less fearsome than continuing to live obese, sad and feeling society's rejection everywhere you turn. You are at best 2nd class citizens, bullied and reviled for nothing more than taking up more space in life than they are willing to grant you. Often they do not see the "you", they see a fat shell instead.I don't think I've been normal sized since puberty, and before that? Pudgy ,on the high side of average at best. Shoot at 1 year.I was 36 inches& 35 pounds, I was drafted into obesity before I was old enough to enlist. I was always "Big for Her Age" until puberty when the kindness stopped and I became only the Fat Red-headed chick on the outside of every group and clique around. I seldom dated,no guy wanted a girl who weighed more than them, not even the football and wrestling teams. And they all missed out,because even then size be d*****d I was and still am a wonderful person to know,smart, witty yet kind-hearted, if they had only given me a chance! But still I went on, if I couldn't be pretty, cute and perky,I could,be smart so I buried myself in books where I couldn't be misjudged. Anybody looking for someone who can recite the US presidents, name the 88 Ohio counties and tell an important fact about each one, recite the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence? No one else did either. At one time I could recite every Ohio Governor from territory through statehood and quote the length of term. But dance? The only ones willing to dance with me were my girlfriends, when a guy finally asked,me to dance I had an embarrassing tendency to Lead, well I always been the tallest so.......

One said to me' Stop trying to lead", my answer was" One of us has to and I'm not too confident of YOUR ability!"Needless to say I was on the side lines, with all the other wallflowers soon.

Now,after all the dings of life, bearing more than few scars , I present myself at the altar of Bariatric Surgery,begging to be granted an audience and the surgery I so earnestly went. Will I have success? I have every intention of it, a wise woman, I believe it was@ proudgrammy, said "There is only Do or Not Do, there is no Try! " So I move forward with the hard won courage of my life toward the Target, not running but firmly stepping each step to the conclusion.[emoji13] I can but hope there are others who will cheer me on but if not-- I am still,persevering . And I will be the very best ME I can be for at the finish,this is truly My Own Victory[emoji304],[emoji573]alone. [emoji13][emoji295]

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

Oh, my, gosh. If you're not a writer, you ought to be. So much of your story rings true for me and (I suspect) for many others. My favorite line: "You reach a point where surgery is less fearsome than continuing to live obese". Yep, that says it all. Thank you!

btw, how far out is your expected surgery?

Edited April 7, 2018 by Orchids&Dragons

[frust8 962]

Durned if I know for sure. My story is sad and convoluted. I finished one program in January 2016, my job terminated so lost primary insurance. Did not realize my secondary had less stringent requirements so I dropped out. Started back up in Autumn 2017 recompleted all prerequirements and was waiting on a surgery date. February 20th the 3 surgeon's in the practice had themselves a little meeting and unanimously voted not to be performing My surgery. Cried my fool eyes out for several days ,got back up and dusted myself off and started looking for alternate programs. Attended a Bariatric Seminar March 9th, decided to make an attempt there, a called back from OSU late last month. I have now a 2 hour appointment with OSU staff psychologist Dr Kramer on April 25th. Depending on how much if not all,of my credits transfer from other program and Dr Kramer gives me favorable assessment it could be sometime in May. If I have more to do maybe late May-early June. Wanted it completed before my class reunion in August, want all those people not to recognize the skimmer ME,I can become. Now you know a brief summary, in the meantime I cheer others on towards the Date[emoji414] of Destiny[emoji13]

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

4 minutes ago, frust8 said:

Durned if I know for sure. My story is sad and convoluted. I finished one program in January 2016, my job terminated so lost primary insurance. Did not realize my secondary had less stringent requirements so I dropped out. Started back up in Autumn 2017 recompleted all prerequirements and was waiting on a surgery date. February 20th the 3 surgeon's in the practice had themselves a little meeting and unanimously voted not to be performing My surgery. Cried my fool eyes out for several days ,got back up and dusted myself off and started looking for alternate programs. Attended a Bariatric Seminar March 9th, decided to make an attempt there, a called back from OSU late last month. I have now a 2 hour appointment with OSU staff psychologist Dr Kramer on April 25th. Depending on how much if not all,of my credits transfer from other program and Dr Kramer gives me favorable assessment it could be sometime in May. If I have more to do maybe late May-early June. Wanted it completed before my class reunion in August, want all those people not to recognize the skimmer ME,I can become. Now you know a brief summary, in the meantime I cheer others on towards the Date[emoji414] of Destiny[emoji13]

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

That must have been so frustrating. I'll pray that all goes smoothly from here on out and that the new you gets to show off at your reunion!

[frust8 962]

Thanks Darlin you are so sweet to do that![emoji12]

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[Frustr8 7,886]

Well I didn't. make it to surgery before my reunion but life is still good. On September 5th my surgery will happen and all postponement will be over. And I can still shine my light for all!

[J San 1,071]

You'll do great and it will all work out. Congrats and best of luck to you!!!!!

[Frustr8 7,886]

Thank you JSan, you are always a good friend to all of us. 6 days and 22 hours until surgery. I installed the TIME UNTIL app, I love going there when I get discouraged, or things don't seem perfect. And I can say "Yes it is still going to happen!"