So I can't find a forum for spouses. So I was hoping some of you can give me some tips.

My husband's surgery is Monday. We live 4 hours from the hospital and he will have to stay 8-10 days in a hotel. I have to go back for 4 days because my job. After that I will be out of work until May/June (seasonal jobs).

I don't want to be the a-hole who dangles food in front of him, however eating out until he is ready is unrealistic for me.

How do I strike a balance? During this pre-op stage I've been good about eating at work (a restaurant) and then having yogurt or soup at home.

When work stops next week, all my meals will be at home (except when we travel for the surgery.). I can't keep up soups and yogurts at home or weeks. (note- I'm an avid hiker and average 28 miles of walking a week, so I need calories.)

I know some people are different, but how long was it before you were okay with food being around?

What other things could your SO been more supportive about?

I've read gas is an issue. Which is scary because between him and our English bulldog its already pretty gassy around here ?. But seriously, any other side effects I should be aware of?

I'm for the surgery, so that is not an issue. I just dont know anyone who has been through to ask.

Thank you for all your comments.

DH's surgery was on Monday and he was discharged the same day. It ended up being pretty late when we finally left and we had to go to a pharmacy for some meds. Most places were closed/closing so we had to find a 24 hours place. It was going to take an hour and the hotel was 20 mins in the opposite direction. My husband is so sweet. He insisted we stop by a restaurant so I could eat while we waited. We went to the bar because there was no wait.

Our bartender was awesome. DH told her he could only have 1 oz of water every 15 mins because he just had the surgery. 15 mins or so later she said "it's been 15 mins do you want another?". She rushed my order. Needless to say she got a big tip. We were signing the check as the pharmacy was texting the meds were ready. Prefect timing.

The day after I ate breakfast and lunch outside of his presences. Not that he asked. It was more he was sleeping/napping and I really needed to get out. So I walked to the various places. I did eat dinner in front of him. I was going to eat at the restaurant, but he wanted me to get takeout.

My husband is an executive chef. He talked about food the entire pre-op. All 2 hours. He had the nurses and doctors were in stitches. In the recovery room he started back up with food talk. In between naps in his room he was watching the food network. I don't know how he does it, but talking and/or watching food hasn't been an issue so far.

I'm back home while he has to stay in Denver. I did make a batch of food in the slow cooker today to be eaten in the future so he wouldn't have to deal with the smell when he returns.

Again, I appreciated the replies. Good luck to everyone. I will continue to lurk as I've learned so much from you all.

Give DH love from all of us. I'm so glad to hear such good news,thank you for being so supportive. My support when my time comes will be my son, and I believe he will be as good for me as you are for DH. You get some rest,yourself. Hopefully,my,own RnY will be next month, without him I would be anxious about doing it at 72. Support people do mean a lot. God Bless and keep you both [emoji14]

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Hmmm ... to be honest after surgery ... I didn’t wanted smell food .. not cuz I wanted to eat it .. cuz it stinks ... When I was already feeling more hungry was by my 2nd week of purée ... and I was cooking for my family ... so imagine that. I would just tell my husband to eat separated from me .. if it is something I really liked.

He helped me bathing and dressing ( [emoji7] ) he made sure I had all the diet Snapple ( that I got sick of it) and the most important support he gave me was been there.. making sure my pills and vitamins are on point and letting me know that he was there for me for all. ( he would tell me that everyday) I think that’s what kept me sane above the pain.