I'm scheduled for gastric bypass on May 2nd. I've been a giant my entire life. Literally. I was even a big ass baby at three weeks premature. Now, I am over six feet tall and almost 400 pounds. I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous as hell about doing this but my worry is not for myself. My partner, her son, my parents, my family all need me. I am living for them. I'm getting surgery so that I can continue to live for them. I keep being told that I need to do all these things for myself or in the end it won't work. I passed a bad habit a few years ago for my partner because it distressed her. Now, does the reasoning matter? The bad habit is gone and I rarely even think about it anymore. If you do the proper thing, make the right decisions, does it really matter why you did it?

Well. Almost 400lbs.. it doesn't even matter at this point what the reason Is it will improve your health. But the reality is... What if you break up will you just go back to bad habits. You do need to live for yourself.

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Currently I'm at 393 but I'm also over six feet tall. If (Goddess forbid) something happened to her, I'd find another reason to live. I'm kind of a miserable person, not that anyone really knows. I have perfected my show face. I'm miserable but very logical. I feel that it would be selfish of me to die. If I don't improve my health and live it would devastate the people who care about me

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I've struggled with depression, self image issues, and mental illness most of my life and I have crazy social anxiety. I don't believe that changing the outside will make me any more comfortable with myself. I hate shopping because being around people spikes my anxiety. I do most of my shopping at Wal-Mart because I can do it in the middle of the night when not many people are around and I can get everything I need in one place. To be completely honest, I don't care enough about myself to ever do this for me. My partner thinks it's an awful idea because she thinks surgery is drastic and I could lose weight on my own if I wanted to. My parents are kind of pushing it on me. Both of my parents had bypass surgery. My mom is skinny as all get out and my dad is now gaining weight and could easily be considered obese. I just want to live without pain so I can be with my partner

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Have you discussed your feelings with your surgical team? Seems like at is a good place to start. The opinion of others doesn’t matter. You are in charge of you. Focus on your triumphs and ways to continue motivating yourself. You are worthy!

Currently I'm at 393 but I'm also over six feet tall. If (Goddess forbid) something happened to her, I'd find another reason to live. I'm kind of a miserable person, not that anyone really knows. I have perfected my show face. I'm miserable but very logical. I feel that it would be selfish of me to die. If I don't improve my health and live it would devastate the people who care about me

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I know what you mean about the show face. Im a pretty miserable mother f++ who dresses like the rainbow spreading positivity to the world ( real world not online world lol)

There are some deeper reasons why you don't value your self to want to live for your self. But that's not for public discussion I understand. But my inbox is open if you ever want to explore this.

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