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Husband threatens divorce if I have surgery



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If you truly want to protect yourself, consult an attorney first. I am not sure about Texas law, but if your income is significantly higher than his, you could end up paying alimony--especially if there is no kids.

I completely support calling his bluff!! No one--not even a husband--should stand in the way of you doing what is best for you. And it truly sounds like you KNOW this is best for you.

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On 2/2/2018 at 8:49 AM, PattyAnn39 said:

Hmmm. Sounds like an excuse for him to leave. The question is do you want him to leave? My ex-husband was the reason I was overweight in the first place. Unfortunately, I didn't get out soon enough. The stress of being married to an addict for 20 years ultimately gave me breast cancer as well.

Sent from my SM-G930V using BariatricPal mobile app

I just want to say, cancer happens to good people; nothing you did contributed to your BC.

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30 minutes ago, FluffyChix said:

Or maybe this! Felicia is such a tool. :D

So who was the original Felicia?

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5 minutes ago, Apple203 said:

So who was the original Felicia?

Remember the post where one of the replies was from a guy who was so hangry or something that he said something snarky to his boss and called him Felicia? I swear I've been using that name since then. Never ceases to make me laugh out loud. Seriously snort!

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Robin Roberts for me -- I get it, but I'd really like to know why its Fecilicia, and not, say, Amy? Or Amanda? Or Megan? :D

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15 minutes ago, Apple203 said:

So who was the original Felicia?

Here's the origins of "Bye Felicia" explained in detail.

https://www.bustle.com/articles/52505-what-does-bye-felicia-mean-why-are-people-saying-it-all-of-a-sudden

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1 minute ago, elforman said:

Hahahahaha! Thank you SOOOO much for this! :D

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On 01/02/2018 at 5:18 AM, Copper5 said:

thank you for listening

Your husband is facing a two-edged sword:

1. He may genuinely feel that he will lose you on the operating table and is, therefore, trying to prevent that through whatever crappy reasoning he's using.

2. He may (separately or jointly with # 1) feel that you will improve your body, your life and lifestyle significantly over 18 months to two years if you have WLS. If that occurs, he may (in his confused forward thinking) assume that you will meet and run off with a better quality man.

What to do:

A. Tell him clearly why you are getting the surgery and ask him to give you his support.

B. Tell him that if he refuses # A that you really will still go ahead with your solution to your health/lifestyle for yourself. Add that you are not pleased about his objections but that you have to look after yourself for all the reasons you've outlined.

- - -

If, ultimately, he's not strong enough to support you, LET HIM GO.

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To be frank ur weight seems to be in ur husband drop that dead weight first do what u need to do for urself and ur life even after people’s compilations u will always hear a wls patiant say I WOULD DO IT AGAIN the quality of life is so amazing personally I can do any everything now even fit in a plane seat😁

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Sounds like a boundary issue. I am learning to set healthy boundaries with my family. I have codependency. Melody Beatty's work helped me to set boundaries. http://melodybeattie.com

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G891A using BariatricPal mobile app

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Your happiness comes before anyone else! If he can't get on the support train, then let him leave. Who would want you to be overweight and increase your risks of health and the quality of your life? Is he insecure that you will leave him anyways? I would rather be alone then in a relationship with someone threatening to leave if you better yourself. No way!

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3 hours ago, sleevedshereen said:

Your happiness comes before anyone else! If he can't get on the support train, then let him leave. Who would want you to be overweight and increase your risks of health and the quality of your life? Is he insecure that you will leave him anyways? I would rather be alone then in a relationship with someone threatening to leave if you better yourself. No way!

To answer your question a man who happens to be a Fat Admirer and can't get aroused unless the woman is obese. When I came to realize this was even possible I divorced him, and lost over 285 pounds from my own body.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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