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Husband threatens divorce if I have surgery



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Frust— she posted this in May. So had the surgery :)

Hasn’t posted since then

“Can anyone help I’m 3 days post roux n Y gassy still retching up phlegm and stomach cramps can’t even lay half way down on liquids need help to get stool , relax stomach so I can heal my throat is sore from retching up all this mucous”

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Well I forgot completely she Had it, is there actually something on Bariatric Pal I missed?

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I agree with everyone here get the surgery and let him divorce you. Clearly he doesn’t love you.

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Right now you need to love yourself more then you love him.

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THIS IS A TRUTH. PERTAINING HEALTH ALWAY LOVE YOU MORE THAN OTHERS! We are granted only granted one body a lifetime. Seldom is a complimentary,Owners Manual given. It behooves us to keep ourselves a sleek race car instead of a junky jalopy
No gaurentee as to the smoothness, straightness., difficulty or,length of the road we,must,travel before our death.
So BE KIND , BE LOVING, DO PROPER MAINTAINANCE,ON THE BODY YOU ARE GIVEN FOR YOU SHALL NEVER BR GRANTED ANOTHER!

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I had a man like that in my life who gave me the same ultimatum. He thought that people who couldn’t make change thru self-discipline had a character flaw. He also distrusted modern medicine. In retrospect, I think he had good intentions but now that I’m 100lbs lighter a year after surgery and he is gone, I joke that it was the first 185lbs that was the hardest to lose. The rest came right off! Lol! I don’t regret choosing my health over his fears. My body was crushing under the weight and I was on a slow and painful track to death. He may have had good intentions but he went about it in the wrong way, was negative, and a lot of the reason I gained the weight in the first place (I’m not shifting accountability, he just supplied the trigger).
He also gave me a hard time when I quit smoking.
During the wedding ceremony, he vowed that he would stand by your side for better and for worse. He needs to get to it.

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@skinEminE I’m so sorry your husband did that to you. Glad you got rid of him!! You are worth love and that isn’t love. I feel very lucky. Mine is standing by me. He gets it.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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